If We Were Vampires

"It's knowing that this can't go on forever / Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone / Maybe we'll get forty years together / But one day I'll be gone or one day you'll be gone."

I think of this lyric a lot. I have since I first heard this song years ago.

Today 710 and I hit 'forty years together'. 

I'd say 'ugh' but that's more of a thought of time passing (and time left) than with whom I'm passing said time. 

40 years is a fuck of a long time. There is just no way around that. I was probably wearing two Swatch watches at the time. The horror!

I know I'm a better man / person because of 710. Better half, if you will. He is kinder, nicer, gentler than I. He is funnier than you'd expect, which kind of makes him even more funny due to that. 

Over the years here, I've said we had tough and trying times with the relationship. That was a long time ago, but things that have stuck with us from which we've learned - and learned not to forget or take for granted. 

I always feel weird when someone asks how long we've been together. You can see them start to do math in their head. I was 21; he 24. Obviously, at the time, we didn't know it would be a lifetime thing. Who does at that age?

When we married in 2010, the vows you've heard so many times about sickness/health, richer/poorer etc actually meant something. We had lived all of that in the 25 years we had been together before tying the knot. Couples who get married after being together for 2-3 years and saying those things truly are going through the motions. Those words brought us to tears. 

"Maybe time running out is a gift / I'll work hard 'til the end of my shift / And give you every second I can find / And hope it isn't me who's left behind."

I have also said in this here blog, I want to go first, just like the lyric says. It is 100% selfish and I recognize that. I try not to think about the time we have left, but hitting 60 just makes me feel old(er). We talk about age more. I don't know how we survive without each other - though billions of other couples have done it in the past. I try not to dwell on that. 

710 is confident he'll go first, just due to my genetics. He's usually right about so much, so here is hoping he is wrong on this one. 

The idea is to spend our time in the present and loving and appreciating each other - even though I know I make it difficult. There is a LOT of eye rolling on his part - and it is deserved. 

As you probably know, our anniversary / wedding dates do not match up. I somewhat regret that, but what are you gonna do?  January dates suck mostly due to the weather. 

We have nothing planned for today. Absolutely nothing. 

We had opted for a nice dinner out, as we rarely do that anymore. But it will be below 0°F. That does not sound like fun. And I think we would have done it, but Shep has a minor procedure at the vet tomorrow, so we are spending the evening with him. 

We will attempt dinner this weekend. I think we know which restaurant we will want to patronize. 

I'd like to say we are on our way to closing in on the Golden Anniversary, but we'll also be past 70 years old.........and that is just weirding me out.  I'm assuming if we are still ambulatory then, we'll do somethign special. 

You won't be able to hold me to that though. 

I don't often do this, but here is a link to the blog title song that goes along with the lyrics. 

The title image is thanks for Meredith, and is from November 2000. 

Song by: Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Nazi Punks Fuck Off

I'm trying to make a blog connection between Nazi's and marriage. 

I am not sure I can connect those dots. 

Yesterday, in my secondary city of Columbus, wannabe Nazis roamed the streets. For what purpose - who the fuck knows. 

One can assume it was to exert their pretend dominance after the 2024 election. I mean, it isn't out of the question, since the majority of the country voted for a Hitler loving and Hitler inspired "president". 

Morty sent us the video. My first reaction was "fuck". 710's was "cowards". 

He is not incorrect. 

I always have a problem with the mask wearing 4th Reich. Besides being the same group who would have fought against wearing masks during Covid, they also don't have the courage of their "convictions". Or someone else's convictions of which they're trying to emulate. 

The reality of it is: they don't want their neighbors, in-laws and yes employers, to know they are fucking fascists. Jew hating, Homo hating, Black hating, Women hating men. Probably more incels than one can shake the 3" ruler with which they used to measure their almost cocks. 

Of course, someone's credit card has a charge for swastika flags. You gotta figure that's a little awkward and gonna come back to bite you in the ass. I've seen enough Law & Orders. 

This isn't Columbus' first go-round with Nazis. They showed up at a drag-queen / library event. With these pussies, it's all about intimidation and no action. At least not until January 20th, I suppose. 

Our anniversary is the day after the inauguration. I'm not sure how much we will want to celebrate at that point. I suppose we should take every opportunity, because honestly, who knows. 

Our actual marriage anniversary is today.  #14. 

......and that's how you get from Nazis to marriage. 

You're welcome!

Song by: Dead Kennedys

Leather & Lace

This day 13 years ago, 710, Rebecca and myself were making our way to the Smithsonian Castle for a wedding. 

No - we're not a throuple, but I wouldn't rule it out. 

It was just 710 and myself. Rebecca was our witness and honour attendant.......and entertainment, as she did read a poem as well. 

This is where our original and marriage anniversaries don't match up. But we wanted to get hitched during our 25th year together (yes, by all means, do the math!).  And no one wants to go to a wedding in January, so we held off till later in the year. 

We had spent a few days prior in NYC and then took the Acela down to DC. 710 is a train dude, so I got to surprise him with that part of the trip. 

I mean, I also surprised him with the marriage license, as I had taken his passport on a work trip when I went to DC and applied for said license.......without telling him. 

The man got roped into this marriage. 

We did not get married in the castle, but behind it. People eating lunch watched and clapped, and went back to their ham salad sandwiches. 

Jordan, the MFA candidate from American University is clearly getting his degree in sculpture, because his pictures were just mediocre to horrible. He got ONE good picture (you'll have to scroll down), so in a way it was worth it. 

I mean, look at the staging of the above picture. First, that isn't the place we got married, just a horrible posed pic with the leaf debris of Autumn. 

We've weathered three plus decades. 13 married. Less than that if you count how long Ohio has been recognizing same sex weddings. 

It is unclear if I will be grilling steaks for dinner tonight, or if we venture out. Anymore, I'm a homebody, but I could be talked into going somewhere......maybe. 

The traditional 13th anniversary is lace.  No one it tatting anything. Heck, no one is exchanging presents at all. We're not those guys.   Leather however.......................

Song by: Stevie Nicks & Don Henley

10:1

I married this dude 11 years ago. 

Oh, stand down. I didn't marry a 12 year old, you pervs!  There are laws preventing me from doing that.................now. 

Actually, 710 might have been in high school when this pic was taken? It's doubtful there are marching bands in middle school. I don't know for sure - my primary and secondary schools didn't have one at any level of education. 

If I'm being honest, I have no reason to write about year 11. It's represented by "steel".  I suppose 710 is strong as an ibeam to put up with the likes of me, so it seems appropriate. 

11 is just the marriage years, of course. There are two dozen more years (+1) on top of that.  .....you know, just to see if we were compatible.  .....the jury is still out on that one. 

We probably wouldn't have lasted this long had he kept up with his saxophone playing. At least one supposes. We don't know what we don't know.  .....though I totally know. 

Still, an anniversary, on a Wednesday, during a pandemic, screams "make something at home!", which we probably will. We already went out once this week - in public, why tempt fate? 

Low key is how we like it, so it will be dinner and hanging out reading or maybe put on the tv. I have two new books that need their binding cracked, and they're not gonna read themselves.........mostly because they're not audiobooks. 

As 710 pointed out with this pic, he was the original Howard Wolowitz (sp). 

......but in a drum major marching band outfit.

Song by: Rogue Wave

Tin Man

We made it to 10.  

Well.....plus 25.5. 

But a decade ago today, 710 and I married in Washington DC. 

Oh, back then, the marriage was only legal in five states and the District. I won't say it was only ceremonial but it didn't mean much other than to ourselves once we were firmly back in Ohio. 

Unlike other states who came around to same-sex marriage, Ohio had to be be taken there kicking and screaming and by a SCOTUS decision. 

Months before the wedding - before 710 even knew of a wedding - I borrowed his passport and got our marriage license when I was on a business trip to DC.  Of course, we had discussed marriage, but had, at that time, made no arrangements. I took care of that. 

It was a great day, except for the pictures. 

Becky took this one, but it was set up by our poorly chosen wedding photog. I mean - c'mon.....the pile of leaves in the corner? Was there no stager? No stylist?  As I've said before, the guy charged $60 - and I got what I paid for. Honestly, we got 2-3 good shots.........and I'm being generous. 

It's been a good 10 years.  Plus 25.5.  

Some years have been better than others, but that's true of all of us. We've seen more good than bad. Honestly, Covid could probably push any couple over the brink - and we've kind of been good this whole time. We have gotten along with each other's family - and what few times ours have gotten together has always been pleasant. 

So, 10 is tin.  ....and I got nothing. And I can guarantee you he's got nothing. We have never done anniversary gifts, nor do I expect to start now.  Since there The Covid going on, there will be no eating out either. I suspect I will make salmon. There might be a cake - which is better than any present anyways. It'll just be him, myself and the always ever present Shep and Sophie (we are a pack!). 

That's the best celebration a guy could ever have. 

.....and just for shits and giggles........when we were in DC in September, we walked to where we got married. I did a short video when I thought I'd do a vacation video. 

Song by: America

Pottery's Gay

Truth be told, I have no song titles with the word 'pottery' or 'bronze' in them, so I'm sort of faking the title / artist thing today.  Though - who couldn't love the name 'Anal Cunt' as a band?

You're probably wondering why I care about bronze or pottery...........and the short answer is, "I don't".

The longer answer is, these are the traditional items for an eighth anniversary, and I needed a tie in for a post that it is our eighth anniversary.   ......plus 25 years.....plus 10 months.

I love how "they" can't just have one item for this year. Bronze or pottery. They are pretty much mutually exclusive, unless you come in third at the state fair pottery making contest.

Technically, the anniversary was yesterday. But I know how you all get up in arms if there is no Sophie or Shep. And then there'd be pitchforks and torches......and what the hell people, I don't even live in Charlottesville!

So I delayed the post for a day.

We are celebrating, but more on that in another post.

Eight years is nothing to sneeze at - nor is almost 34. Truth be told, I'm amazed the man has stuck around this long. Granted for the last seven or so, it's been for Petey or Shep. Without either, I wouldn't have a prayer in the world.

I kid of course.

No one is getting bronze or pottery today.  I'm happy with a good meal and a bottle of wine.



(the image today is from our 'reception' after the wedding. I couldn't imagine taking that pic with the current administration being in that residence.)


Song by: Anal Cunt

Seven Year Ache

It's hard to believe that it was seven years ago today that 710 and I got married.

Well, 7 years, plus another 25.

It was a beautiful day back in 2010. Not so much today. It's going to be colder now than it was then.

Actually, what a difference seven years makes.

I don't know that I would want to get hitched in DC currently. I could not stand equating my happiness and a great moment in my life with the scum that is currently residing within the city limits.

Anyway - we kind of  / sort of have plans for our day. We hate leaving Shep during the weekend, which explains our movie totals sinking to the bottom of the ocean this year. And I can count on one hand how many times we have been out to dinner since he came into our lives.

I'm not complaining. Not a bit. Cooking and hanging at home with him has been great for us....and him.

However, knowing we might need a reason to go out, the anniversary is a great rationale. This morning I'm taking Shep for a play date at doggie daycare, and then the owner is taking him home to stay at her house for the night. He's gonna have a great time.

We are totally going to take advantage of the sitch.

While it would be nice to plan on a movie and a nice dinner, it's tricky. First off - I have to present at a meeting today......... 16:30-17:30.   .......and on a fucking Friday. Srsly - who schedules that?

So time-wise that fucks stuff up. If I eat before the movie, I'm sleeping during the movie, because it will be a 21:30 showing.......and I'll be full.  ...and possibly drunk.  If we eat after the movie, the nicer options are probably out.

I fear we will end up doing one or the other. I'm not sure I care which. I'm not sure I care which.

I get to spend the anniversary with the man I love, and whatever and wherever that is will be fine.  Though not sitting around the house, as that is not an option.

....btw, the pearls in the title image were our "borrowed", I guess. Eileen Flowers' strand came to us via her daughter, our honour attendant, Becky.  I tried to put them on for a shot, but they became more like a choker.....or a choke-him.  I feared the string would burst and people at the Smithsonian would be scavenging Eileen's jewels.  And that I'd pull a Jack Tripper and slip on one and prat fall before the ceremony.

So seven years. Or 32.  Either way, I think we'll make it work.



Song by: Rosanne Cash

Come Together

I mentioned we went to Columbus last weekend. And yes, I'm just getting around to chatting about it now.

We went for the wedding reception of Georty.

Yes, just the reception. They had gotten married earlier in the week on their own, which we always knew was the plan. They were smart and got married on their non-gay marriage anniversary date, so unlike 710 and myself, Georty only has one date to remember.

Still, there was a party to be had - which is something we didn't do. I'm kind of regretting that fact now.

710 and I, I believe, traveled the farthest to attend, though only a few out of towners were invited, as Georty didn't want anyone to feel obligated to attend. As if they could keep me away.

Actually, the weekend worked out well for us - meaning 710 and myself. We got to do lunch on Saturday with Georty. Everyone at the wedding. Then separate time with Dith and then Becky and her family. All very spread out and even.

By happenstance, as we walked to Dough Mama on Saturday, we came upon a group of protesters. I wasn't proud asking, nay, begging George and Morty to let me take their picture, as the protest couldn't be any more apropos.

Morty, being Morty, told them they had just gotten married. I was surprised by the 'congratulations' comment. I was less surprised by the 'we'll pray for you' one.

But seriously, almost a year after the Supreme Court ruling, this is still a thing!



Then it was the reception with all - though save our core group, I knew few others.

I won't pretend to understand the photo / dress-up station, but we tried to make the most of it. I don't know what I was going for. I don't know what Rebecca and Dith were going for either.

Dith caught Becky and I in a moment. I was sitting across from a humourless, judgemental lesbian. Sure, you could say that's redundant, but this seemed worse than usual. So, I actually had to turn my back to her to talk and have fun with Rebecky.

And of course, there was the happy couple.

Well.....couples. Friends forever.....and ever....amen. We love Morty and George and were so honored to be in attendance. It was a great night, and no one got too too drunk (meaning: me).

And right after their toasts, I caught the sunset.

George, ever being the educator, told me this was a sun pillar. I know I had never heard the term, and I'm not 100% sure I'd ever seen one. But I liked the shot - and I liked that it presented itself at the reception.

It was a great weekend. Je loved it.



Song by: Echosmith

Would You Believe

....that it has been five years since 710 and I got married?

Sure, you can tack on another 25 to that since we had been together, but today marks our fifth anniversary since getting hitched in DC.

Of course, now everyone can get married anywhere in the U.S. - save maybe one county in Kentucky if all of the other clerks are on PTO.

#5 is Wood.

Yes, the jokes just seem to write themselves, don't they?

So I'm taking the high road - which Magic Mike always wonders how I found that byway. It is certainly not on any map I own, nor could I ever follow there, as he's only 'read about it'.

Ok, I'll take the imaginary high road and no 'wood' jokes. I'm a properly married man now!

We are experiencing the same weather these last few days that we had back in 2010. Blue skies, temps in the 60s (in November!!!), and sun. And somewhere, someone has all my reception and rehearsal dinner pictures.........the bastards. Five years later, I'm still kicking myself over that one. I suspect I will be for another five as well.

And best yet - we didn't wear pastel tuxedos.  We just had simple sport coats and white shirts.

For any would-be groom or bride - I've said it before and will say it again: spring for a good photographer. Don't get an MFA candidate for $60 and hour.  We got 68 shots - most of them unusable. To be fair to Jordan, I didn't confirm that his MFA wasn't going to be in ceramics - so that one is on me. When you break it down, it's less than a dollar a shot. I totally got what I paid for.

I expect to get an email from Ed, our officiant, tomorrow. I was hoping to do a surprise for 710, but that didn't pan out. So I was going to do a special menu of some kind at home, but he'd like to go out - so that is what we will do.

Anything his heart desires.




Song by: the Mavericks

Mercy Seat

Same-sex marriage nonchalantly comes to the funnies with a Speed Bump comic yesterday. 

But it came to the Cleveland Plain Dealer. 

Remind me to look for the foot-stomping Letters to the Editor insisting that the comic be dropped over this one. Srsly. 

Song by: Johnny Cash

She Hates Me

You know, I've kind of left this twat of a woman alone in this here blog.

Everyone else has been doing such an outstanding job at point out her political, religious and fashion flaws, that I haven't really felt the need to weigh-in.

I almost don't feel the need to point out her marriages, but I just did.

Hey, I said 'almost'.

I do feel the need to point out her getting preggers by her third husband, while she was still married to her first.

Yes, that's right. Married to the first, but got inseminated with twins by the man who would eventually be her third husband, even though the second one adopted those aforementioned twins.

If Kentucky is trying to be the poster child for Poor White Trash, they are giving Alabama a run for their money.  But as Cher said in Clueless in regards to being a 16 year old bride - "as if !!!  this is California, not Kentucky!"

Now did anyone actually think this woman (do I even need to say her name?) was going to comply with the local, state or federal rulings against her? I love she wasted time appealing to SCOTUS when she (well, her hate group handlers) so vehemently said, even before the appeal, that SCOTUS was a joke and not to be taken seriously.

Mind you, she'd be fine with SCOTUS if rulings went her way.

But they didn't.

And through this all there are two things I don't get.

Well.....I don't get many things, but that's a different topic for a different day, isn't it?

One
I get she can't be fired. She's elected. But where is the state or voters in recalling her? KY does understand that with the federal rulings they are losing are costing them money, not this woman, not even her department (or county probably). And now that some of the same-sex couples (and opposite sex couples) and the ACLU are suing her, and the department, well, they're already adding on to the $2.3M costs KY has to pay for fighting the original SCOTUS case.

So where are big guns, the party leaders, the state leaders, to either force her out with discussions, or to get a recall motion going?

Maybe I'm wrong here, but is there zero support for same-sex marriage in her county? Is no one stepping up to the plate because they're all like her?  I mean, she dresses like a sister-wife, so maybe they're all related. It is Kentucky. (see: twins, first, second and third marriage.)


Two
No marriages at all in the county.

Here is what I don't get - and could be the central part of any opposing case against this cunt. Yes, there. I said it. She's a cunt.

She is denying all marriages, because she opposes the same-sex ruling. So she's treating everyone equally. Isn't that she's actually fighting against?

Why?

If her religious convictions are so strong, she should support "traditional" marriage as strongly as she opposes same-sex marriage. So in turn, she should be granting licenses to one man-one woman.

Her not doing this shows this isn't a religious issue at all. Call it a hate issue. Call it a political issue. But it's not religious.

I get it (well, kind of) if it is a political one - and only political - that you'd stop issuing marriage licenses to everyone. But if it is religious - and only religious - you have zero ground to stop issuing all marriage licenses, just the ones with which you disagree.

Her argument isn't valid. Personally, I think she opens herself up to more lawsuits from straight couples than the four same sex couples who probably live in that county.

And I hope she does.

As soon as she's out of there - and it's just a matter of time - though her 15 minutes of fame has long since expired - I expect to see a gofundme campaign set up for her, where she'll end up with more money than the Beverly Hillbillies.



Song by: Puddle of Mudd

We Believe in Happy Endings

I guess I can do a follow-up to Friday's SCOTUS decision on same-sex marriage. I mean, why not?

I know it has only been less than 48 hours, though I have yet to hear a word from anyone in my immediate family.

My little right-winged sister will never say a word to me about this. Which is ok, as it would just spiral out into things that can never be taken back.

Unexpectedly - the first person I heard from was my cousin, Jack. If I think my sister is conservative, Jack beats her hands down. Just the day before, his FB page was ranting and raving about the ACA ruling. Yet, he congratulated me and wonders how 710 and I will proceed. I didn't understand that line of questioning, but he thought getting remarried by a judge here might be an easier way than having our marriage being recognized "by default".

I was a little taken back by that comment, but he's a lawyer and I think he was just looking out for our interests.

His sister, Claire, chimed in later in the day - and she was VERY happy for 710 and myself.

I had to admit to Claire (had to?) that I was happier than I ever anticipated. I found myself smiling all day long. I couldn't pull myself away from Facebook that easily. I was looking at all the love and support out there - and perhaps it was just my newsfeed, but I still have yet to see a negative comment. I'm sure they're out there somewhere, but I haven't seen them. It's probably a good thing I don't check Twitter.

In between those Jack & Claire were David - whose support is / was never in question, and then our cousin, Billy - who if he weren't already married to a woman might get gay-married himself. He just doesn't know it yet.

Billy's comments were the funniest - but probably just to me. He even sent me a little audio recording of "Mr. Sandman" played on his ukulele, which I'm convinced is the only song he knows. He didn't deny it when I called him out.

Still, if you're counting:   Cousins: 4.  Sisters / Mother: 0.

Even 710's sister sent a nice note.

****************

We did not make it to Pride.  But no one did. Due to weather and rain, it was cancelled. Blerg.

****************

In my original post, I mentioned not having read the dissents from the four Just-asses. At least now, I have read two. I'm not sure I can stomach the other two, though I can't imagine Alito and Roberts could possibly anything worse than Scalia and Thomas.

I'm not sure Voldemort and Senator Palpatine could be worse than those two.

There is much ado about Scalia's 'hippie' comment'. Personally between this dissent and the one for the ACA, it sounds like he might to see a neurologist as he slowly loses his grasp on sanity. Still the 'hippie' comment wasn't anything troubling.  To me, this was:

"It is of overwhelming importance, however, who it is that rules me. Today’s decree says that my Ruler, and the Ruler of 320 million Americans coast-to-coast, is a majority of the nine lawyers on the Supreme Court. Until the courts put a stop to it, public debate over same-sex marriage displayed American democracy at its best."

Who the fuck does he think he is - and where the fuck does he think he lives?

Scalia actually believes and every single U.S. citizen (all 320 million?) believes in his lord and saviour? It's 2015, not 1915 you stupid fuck.

And this is not about who rules 'you', Tony. This is about the law and the constitution, not the person to which you believe is the son of g-d. Since you've seemed to forget what your job duties actually entail, maybe you should consider retiring. And soon!

Lack of grasping your job is one thing. Losing your grasp on reality is quite another - case in point: Clarence Thomas:

"The corollary of that principle is that human dignity cannot be taken away by the government. Slaves did not lose their dignity (any more than they lost their humanity) because the government allowed them to be enslaved. Those held in internment camps did not lose their dignity because the government confined them. And those denied governmental benefits certainly do not lose their dignity because the government denies them those benefits. The government cannot bestow dignity, and it cannot take it away."

I don't know Clarence's ancestry, but let's assume some descendants were African. He is saying being round up like animals, shackled in boats for months and forced to work for nothing at the hands of the white man, in a strange country, devoid of your own culture does not contain a loss of dignity. Nor does being interred for the length of a war, just due to your heritage. Both with the blessings of our government.

I mean, his understand of the word "dignity" might be a little skewed in terms of its definition. Just ask a female lawyer who worked for him at the EEOC a number of years back. I'm sure her "dignity" wasn't taken away from Long Dong Silver either.

I'm actually offended he's allowed to write ANY dissent or ruling.

As of February 2014, Thomas has not asked one single question in the previous EIGHT YEARS of anyone presenting to the high court. Not one. (If he has asked anything since, I cannot find it.)

Sometime in 2013, he made a comment to the other justices, but that is the only time he had talked aloud in the Supreme Court in the eight years prior.

Is he physically impaired? Is he just unqualified to ask pertinent questions? He is just lazy or dumb?

Who the fuck gets away with almost a decade at not speaking on the job? Even Marlee Matlin speaks out loud more than Clarence does.

Unfathomable.

****************

As for our celebratory pizza night out?   meh. 

We ended up at our third choice place - which is usually just fine. But neither of us were thrilled at our pizza or beer selection. 

I know, right?  How can you fuck up pizza and beer? 

The beer is a rotating menu - you rarely get the same types twice. I'm ok with that, but we chose our selections unwisely, or it is possible that none of their selections were up our alley. 

We opted to order something new, which was probably a mistake. They asked me if I wanted "red sauce" on it - which I thought (to myself) "what other kind would there be?".  I should have asked the question out loud (oh no, am I just like Clarence Thomas???), as maybe they had "other sauces" of which I was unaware. 

The red sauce was questionable at best. But that was on 710's side of the pizza. My side was buffalo chicken. It was good, but not great. 

Still, it was a nice time out - both of us were pretty happy from the day, so it made it all better. 

Song by: Earl Thomas Coyne & Emmylou Harris

a Legal Matter

You get a special second blog post today.

It is warranted.

SCOTUS has done the right thing - barely - by legalizing same-sex marriage in all 50 states.

And while maybe not needed due to the first ruling, the Court also vote in favour on the other matter - that all states must recognize same-sex marriages performed in states where same-sex marriage is legal and licensed.

At 09:45, I logged on to SCOTUSblog and just waited with baited breath on the ruling. It came right at 10:00. I mean, immediately.

Fucking A.

Odd. I didn't think I would be SO relieved, but I am. Happy, even. Sitting here smiling.

No one to sit and yell "YEAH!" too - besides the dog, and he's sleeping. So I turned to Facebook, and I think I was the first of my "friends" to post. I'm claiming that - no one can prove otherwise.

Since then - thanks to me - Facebook has blown-up.

I even posted before texting 710 with the news.

His response?  "I hope this makes taxes easier next year". 

{pause............pause..........pause}

"Oh. And I love you and am happy to be your lawfully wedded husband."


My reply?  "Too little. Too late."  

But followed up with all would be forgiven if we went out for pizza tonight.

Yes. My love can be bought. And yes. I'm cheap.

And yes, after 4.5+ years of being married, it is now legal in Ohio. Our marriage is valid.


So, to follow-up on my post yesterday, it was not 7-2, though I didn't think it would. It was the same 5-4 - and the same 5-4 voters as always. I mean, I know Kennedy would be the swing vote, but in terms of this I was pretty confident he'd vote this way.

The odd thing is, one Justice didn't write a dissent. All four dissenting judges wrote four different dissents. As of this posting, I have not read them. Nor do I know I will. Some of their crap will seep down to me, but I don't give a fuck what they have to say.

Of course, we will have to endure a week's worth of crap from the right wing media and the GOP presidential hopefuls.

Yesterday, fucking Ted Cruz, called SCOTUS, "unelected advocate judges".  Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not sure he's fit to be president not understanding the different branches of government.

And mind you, when SCOTUS ruled for Hobby Lobby, they weren't "unelected advocate judges". They never are when they vote the way of the GOP. He's such a fucking hypocrite. And Canadian!

But now we wait for pastors to set themselves on fire (please...do!). Now we wait for states who said they'll defy SCOTUS to do so (please do! I'm waiting to see how that all turns out for you.) Now we will have the GOP candidates saying how they'll overturn this decision. Knock yourselves out, but I think you'll be too busy overturning Obamacare.

For now, I will revel in this.

Of course, I think, weather permitting, a pop-in to Pride tomorrow is warranted. I'm not a fan of Cleveland's event, but why not show our support?

I mean - weather permitting.

So, rejoice folks. Or at least the folks who read my blog. I don't expect to get hater comments here, but you never know. We will leave that to other venues.

I know many of my readers already live in states where same-sex marriage is legal or recognized. Still, I think we all share in this - a great victory. Not for gay men and women, but for mankind.



Song by: the Who

the Trial

I wish I felt better about how the arguments went with the Supreme Court yesterday.

From many accounts, it is very up in the air. In a way, that is not surprising. The court is voting 5-4 on just about everything. They could all witness the same murder and they'd vote 5-4 on guilt.

In this day of social media, it is hard not to get a skewed perspective on how things went depending on who made the post or what sites you visit.

I felt slightly better - but only slightly - after seeing Nina Totenbag Totenberg and Tom Goldstein discuss the day's events.

I feel slightly better- but only slightly - when Nina said that she's not sure the oral arguments would really sway any of the justices. If so, then it probably - as always - comes down to Justice Kennedy.  (see video below......assuming it embeds.)

Of course, the fucking frightening thing is that the Liberty Council is insisting that all GOP presidential candidates sign a pledge that they will defy SCOTUS should the marriage initiative go in "our" favour.

Naturally, Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee (neither of them GOP candidates.........yet) signed immediately. I will be very interested to see which others do - if any of them.

But no one has taken an action or threat of defiance to the next level or asked the right question(s):  if one in "power" can disobey certain laws, how can they hold anyone accountable to any law........including the ones for which they lobby? In a way, it is political suicide if anyone asks them that last question. On the other hand, none of them are that smart.

This is a scary time.

As bad as I feel for Ohio not having same-sex marriage or recognition of it, I feel very bad for the states who have it not by voter consensus. The appeals and possible invalidation of certain state marriages could be devastating.

It's going to be a long two months until we hear the verdict.

What you need to know about today’s #SCOTUSmarriage arguments in less than four minutes. (BONUS: NPR’s Nina Totenberg & SCOTUSblog’s Tom Goldstein … and word bubbles!)
Posted by NPR on Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Song by:  Pink Floyd

Till Death Do Us Part

For better or worse, that's what they say.

In 30 years we have seen both. Ditto with sickness and health. Richer and poorer too.

Yes, we have had some bumps along the way, some stops and starts, but today we consider it our 30th anniversary.

Can you believe it?  I cannot.

As I've said in previous posts, before same-sex weddings, us gays had seemingly arbitrary dates in which to attach our relationships. 710 and I are no different. We have our official wedding date, which was 25+ years after our "considered start date".

We had met at work. Looking back, it's inexplicable how or why we were drawn to each other. Neither of us were at our prime, even at 21 and 24. We were awkward at best. Still, I knew (or hoped) as we sat there day after day that we would go out.  ...and with the help of after work outings with co-workers, we eventually did....but then eventually without the others.

For years - decades maybe - the relationship was more work than pleasure. Much earlier on, I used to think it should be easier than it was and that we should just be able to enjoy it. But let's face it, I'm immature, so it took a lot more work on both our parts before we got to a point where buttons weren't pushed.

Oh hell, it took a while before we found out we had those buttons....and then we had to test and retest them.

It's safe to say that 710 has put up with a lot more with / of me than the other way around. Illness and surgeries just plagued me. Then there was our moving back to Cleveland where my family resides. It would have been easy - and maybe wise - to cut and run, but he did not. And now he can't, because of the kids.

Sometimes it seems like it has indeed been 30 years, and in other ways, it seems like only 30 months. He continues to make me smile and laugh (often unexpectedly) and sometimes he makes me grind my teeth. Hopefully I do the same for him..minus the teeth grinding thing, though I know I can frustrate him.

If How I Met Your Mother has taught us anything (and it has!!!!!), it is that in any relationship, one person is 'the reacher' and one is 'the settler'.

710 will deny it, but he is the settler. Poor 710.

So tonight we will go out to a really nice dinner. I'm such an old fart, I told him we could wait till the weekend, but 710 is insistent - and rightfully so - that we celebrate the day. This is why a January "anniversary" sucks....one must bundle up against the cold to go out to do anything special...when they'd (i.e. me!) would rather just nest at home.

As for anything else special for such a milestone, that will wait for better weather. A better time of year.

The idea is / was going to Paris, but who wants to go in January? And now since I posted a Charlie Hebdo cover on my FB page, ISIS is just waiting for me to step into France's border. I won't give them that satisfaction.......at least for a few months. When I eventually get there, they can do their worst.

My genetic make-up (again, for better or worse) can have me hanging around for another 30 more. Hopefully 710's genes will have him do the same. Maybe by the time we hit our 60th, same sex marriage will finally be legal in Ohio.




As for the title image - you get a little seen glimpse of 710, albeit from 1988.

There he is in his Ravenclaw dress robes graduation gown. There I am in....lord knows where I got those pants, but it was the '80s. And no belt???  (and yes Morty & Co. this was taken outside of the old Larkins Hall.)

I got to meet my future in-laws for the first time that day...including his grandparents, sister and brother and their spouses. And this was three years after we started going out.

We might have pictures of us together that were slightly earlier than that. There are of me. There are of him. But I can't find any of us together. So this will have to do.



Well tomorrow starts the trek to 31 years.  Wish us luck.



Song by: Madonna

Garden of Eden

They paved paradise and put up a..........well........a 'modern green space surrounded by skylights that would flood the galleries with natural light and provide “sneak peeks” of the exhibitions below.'

Such is happening to the Enid A. Haupt Garden which sits behind the Smithsonian Castle.

There is a $2 billion dollar plan to renovate the area over the next few years.

You're probably thinking - 'why does he care about that?'.

The Haupt Garden is where 710 and I got married just over four years ago.

We had our choices of places to tie the knot: the Botanical Gardens (possible), outside the Supreme Court (no!) and even the remote opportunity of saying "I do" at the Naval Observatory (but Jill Biden couldn't get us clearance on such short notice) - but outside the Smithsonian seemed to be the right place.

I have denoted the actual space (w the blue circle) in which we got hitched. I am now required to keep this pic forever as a memento of our where we got married, as it seems that the EAH Garden currently resides on top of the Freer & Slacker Galleries. I've only been in those galleries once - and that was on our wedding day because I was so nervous I had to poop.

What?  TMI?

While it's not like the location is going to be blown off the map, but the physical space will be so different that where we took our vows won't actually exist. It just seems odd to me.

Our plan was to always visit where we became betrothed, but in honesty, we haven't been back to DC since we got married. I'm not sure I've ever been away from DC for this long of a time.

Still, when we get back I'm sure a number areas of the city have changed somewhat. I'm all for progress and moving forward, but I was hoping to retain a little sense of our history. Still, I will go by to see the new set-up when it is done.



Song by:  Paula Cole

Marry Me

Well, it's official.

People of the same sex in Okla-fucking-homa can get married, but not in Ohio.

Mind you, I know the 6th circuit ruling on Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky and Tennessee is soon to be delivered, but that doesn't mean it will happen in the Buckeye State, even if the ruling happens in one of those state's favour.

Ohio's case in that court was about out-of-state marriage recognition, not overturning our ban.

However, Michigan's was. And as we saw this last Monday, that can (or should) trickle down to all states of which that circuit oversees.

I really do applaud Colorado. They could have fought the overturn of their ban, since they weren't represented in the case(s) that SCOTUS refused to review or hear, yet they opted not to fight and started issuing marriage licenses even before states that were told their ban was unconstitutional.

It is possible North and South Carolina could do the same. Ditto with West Virginia. But I suspect the farther south one goes, the harder the push-back against the Supreme Court and some lower court will rule with a stay as an appeal goes back to SCOTUS.

And the 9th circuit just paved the way for Idaho and Nevada.  ....with the possibility for Arizona, Alaska and Montana going with them. Montana! With all five of their gay folks.

Even if Ohio is lumped into a good (well, good for us) 6th circuit decision, I would suspect that our AG and Governor would fight tooth and nail to not allow marriage licenses to be distributed to guy/guy and girl/girl couples.

John Kasich will easily win second term as governor (because of a total fuck-up of the Ohio Democratic party not vetting what could have been a decent candidate) and it's quite possible he'll be looking at a bigger office for 2016.

The RNC / GOP can say how they are the party of inclusion and how much they've changed, but that's all talk. Their base doesn't want same-sex marriage.

Let me rephrase: the RNC / GOP says their base doesn't want same-sex marriage and use laws (and the percentages they were passed by) from a decade ago, when Ken Mehlman and Karl Rove roamed the Earth. There is much newer polling data, but that would be counterproductive to their end-game.

...and of course, these are only activist judges when rulings don't go their way. Convenient.

While it is sad that Ohio will now be left in the minority of states that does not allow same-sex marriage, I disagree with people who say it's only because the court system is behind. There isn't even a law suit in this state to overturn the ban that is before a federal court, let alone an appellate one. We will have to ride Michigan's coattails.

I'm not sure how much this means to me, as I am married. We are married. Recognition would be nice, but the U.S. Government recognizes it, even if Ohio does not.

There is a real line between social issues like this and the "brain drain" that we see happening in Ohio. The intelligent youth no longer want to be in an antiquated state.

Quite honestly, neither do I.  But for now.....I'm here and will be for the foreseeable future.



Song by: No Doubt

Theme for a Nude Beach

From gay marriage (last week), to naked weddings (today).

A friend of mine - who shall go nameless - sent me an email the other day, just discussing this and that. We started out with 4th of July stuff, then weather (there was a hurricane back then, ya know!) and then to family.

It was in his closing paragraph that he added this:

we are going to "attend my nephews wedding. It will surely be the social event of the season. Well, in upstate New York anyway. It's a clothing optional wedding reception so that will at least be interesting."

Yes, there is no apostrophe in 'newphews'. Oh the shame.  The shame!!!!  But I'm leaving it as is...well,  mostly because of the shame. At least he got "it's" correct. Batting .500.

Oh - and way. to. bury. the. lead!

Granted, it is upstate NY - which could or could not mean 'Woodstock'-area. Hippy Dippy Central. ...at least east of the Mississippi. But 'clothing optional'?  I'll assume that means for bridal party as well as the guests?

He didn't say. I forgot to ask.

I can think of one (or several related) or two positive take-away(s) from this type of wedding:  what to wear.

I mean, the guy in the pic has some kind of thong on. But it's "optional", right? Still it is not 'naked'. But going along with the what to wear is: less to pack.  And the wedding party will save a fortune on dresses they will never wear again - bride included.

I guess another 'win' would be digital photography. If the wedding photog and the guests with their Kodak Instamatics didn't have the ability to process their prints at home, the police would be waiting for them trying to get porn prints when they drove back up to the FotoMat.

The only other possible win is if the someone attending is hot. Granted, that is in the eye of the beholder, but it's like the holy grail - rare, if it exists at all.

Of course, the drawbacks are many more.  Many many many more.

Let's start with dear old dad walking his daughter down the aisle. Ick. Hell, we may as well just jump to the father-daughter dance. Double ICK!  Even more awkward when that dance is "Baby Got Back".

And since we touched on photos - oh those awkwardly posed bridal and family shots. Picking the matting and frame that doesn't clash with grandma's skin tone is going to be tricky.

For the groom, shoes are not optional if you're Jewish. You do not want to lacerate your Achilles tendon while breaking the glass.

Then there is the receiving line. Old Aunt Edna isn't the 'optional' kind of woman and she doesn't want to get your lactation juices, Vagasil or pre-cum on her new dress she snagged from the clearance rack at Chicos. I guess it's a handshake and how-do-you-do from Edna. There will be no hugs.

Now we are down to food. Clearly buffet is not an option. Even NY health codes have to agree with this one. Sure you have sneeze guards, but........there's a lot more than noses going on here...and little of it to do with sneezing. That would be a lot of plexi-glass. And man, please watch the sterno. Those things are HOT. And crab or foot long hot dogs should not be an entry option - not even for the laugh.

Yes, the wait staff might not be thrilled having to provide sit-down service, but it really is the only way. And for g-d's sake, I'm assuming everyone gets two linens?  One as their napkin and one for, well, covering the chair seat? You know how Cousin Frank was never good with personal hygiene. And on that same thought - best not to make those linens white.

It should go without saying, if I have to subjected to seeing your mother-in-law's saggy tits, then there had better be an open bar.

Top shelf.

...and that bar had better be fully operational four hours before the wedding.



Song by: the B-52's

Rocky Mountain Way

So another state ban on same-sex marriage falls. This time it is Colorado.

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post being somewhat critical of Colorado passing a Civil Union measure. I likened it to getting a hand-me-down.

And now, here they have gone and upgraded to getting the off the rack garment. Never used.

Good for them.  GREAT for them, in fact. Now Stevie B. can stop living in sin!

The current map of where states are in the process (or not) of obtaining same-sex marriage is confusing at best. There is the cut and dry of the 19 states that allow same-sex marriage.  There are the 13 amount of states that have overturned the ban but have a stay on actually allowing it until a Federal Appeals Court hears the case....and then possibly the U.S. Supreme Court (because, they're so reliable!)

Then you have the states who recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states - though I think all of those are under review by different and multiple Federal Appellate Courts.

Let's not forget the other states that don't recognize (or might) but are also trying - through the courts - to repeal the marriage bans, which will then lead to appeals in, yes, you guessed it, the Federal Appellate Court system.

Yet, let's say that the Courts allow same-sex marriage in the current states where there are stays. That would bring the number to 32 states.

While I do not mean to disparage anyone (ummm....Erik), but in what fucking world do we live in when it comes to being socially progressive, Ohio is behind Arkansas, Utah, Oklahoma, Idaho, Wyoming and Kansas???

There is that old joke about Oregon's whereabouts on the U.S. map: "it's just left of Idaho.....but what isn't?"

And they don't even believe in evolution in Kansas!!!!!!!

Ohio is even fighting the recognition of marriages performed in other states - that is, if you're doing guy-on-guy or girl-on-girl action. The thought of overturning the ban on same-sex marriage isn't even on the table (at least voter-wise) until 2016!!!

Now, the way the courts have been ruling, I would like to think that an Ohio judge will strike down the ban, assuming there is a lawsuit filed to do so.  (honestly, I have to believe there is one, but I don't know about it.)  And I have to believe that will happen before it ever gets to a 2016 ballot.

My cousin and I were discussing this other day and part was that we, as a state, were trying to appeal to the GOP for their convention. Possibly.

I will go more on the fact that the current Ohio governor wants to be on that presidential ticket (top of) in 2016. And what better way to do that than to pander to the far right on an issue that is so not an issue anymore.

Best case scenario: Ohio will bring-up the rear for the entire country who will have already adopted same-sex marriage. They'll do it not because they think it's the right thing, only because we are the only ones left.

We will be the University of Alabama in the same-sex marriage. Fighting it every fucking step of the way. Ok - maybe Alabama will be Alabama in this scenario, but Ohio will only be right ahead of them.

Ohio will be brought into this kicking and screaming every step of the way. We already are.

And I'm not naive enough to think these other states didn't have the kicking / screaming issue too. But at what point do you see the writing on the wall and make the concerted effort not to come in last?

I can almost overlook the fact that our marriage isn't recognized by the state, due to the fact that the U.S. government has taken some of that out of their hands. But I am so incredibly embarrassed to be part of the state of Ohio, you have no idea.

I don't really smoke pot, but man, Colorado has that and soon-to-be homo marriage.



Song by: Joe Walsh

Tax Free

Today is the deadline.

It's not like we were cutting it to the wire, but no one wants to hear about filing taxes back in February.  April 15th is always "the date".

This year though is a little different. Due to the DOMA ruling last June, we are now filing our Federal return as a married couple.

In a way, it was a different ballgame. We probably should have had them professionally done, just to see what was what, but they were done in-house.

The numbers were crunched as filing jointly as married folks or individually as married folks.

Obviously, we were going to go with whichever got us the largest return or the smallest payment.

For the record, we went with jointly.

However, for State and City taxes, we are still on our own, as Ohio doesn't recognize gay marriage.

......or didn't.....

Until yesterday.

Kind of.

Judge Timothy Black, whom I wrote about last Fall, ruled that Ohio's ban on same-sex marriage recognition was unconstitutional. He did not go as far to say the 2004 state ban on same-sex marriage fell into the same category. That still stands. No homos can marry within the Buckeye State.

For the record, the suit that was to be filed on 710's and my behalf was this one, - though we were not part of this.  Clearly some other lawyer(s) beat ours to the punch. I know they were all playing political strategy  - waiting to see which appellate judges replaced whom, but clearly it's moving ahead....without us.

Black placed an automatic 'stay' with his decision, so nothing is really being recognized here until the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals can rule on it - since Black figured (correctly) that both the Governor and AG of Ohio would indeed appeal.

Now, I would almost get the waste of time and money on the appeal if this same court, and these same judges, hadn't already ruled on striking down the recognition ban in Michigan, Kentucky and Tennessee. Why does Ohio think the ruling will be different here?

And so it goes.

But Black's ruling, even without the stay, would not and could not have changed our state and local tax situation. We had already filed.

We will see what 2015's tax season brings us.



Song by: Joni Mitchell