Shotgun

Buckle Up. 

This week seems picture heavy. 

But it was not without it's problems. Shep would visit a vet (not the vet) three times in 16 hours. It was draining for me, emotionally. He's fine. 

I'll explain as we go along. 

What a lovely dude. 

Shep getting his hip stitches out. 

Later that same evening, he'd get somehow open up the supposedly healed wound and left it gaping. Our vet was closed for the evening, so off to the $$$ 24/7 place - who was less than helpful. I could go into great detail as to how, but I'll get myself worked up. 

The next morning it was back to his vet to get stapled. 

This necessitated him staying in a cone for an additional week.  

Random Simon shot. 

Olive - my friend Bob's dog. She loves me and it irks her owners that this is true. 

My sister was stuck on a plane and texted, asking if I could pick up Bailey from the kennel and drop her at their house.  Of course. 

But I couldn't leave Shep at home alone - so he got a car ride that did NOT have us stopping at the vet. 

I wasn't sure how the ride would go, but it took them 7 seconds to ignore each other. 

Riding shotgun. 

I hate that, but I couldn't risk putting them both in the back not knowing how they'd react. 

It turns out Blobby CAN walk two dogs at once. I just didn't like it. 

Bailey's place. 

Both got treats, then Shep and I left. My sister was home two hours later. 

The Gatekeeper. 

Outside looking In. 

I was taking Shep for a walk, when starting down the driveway, something caught my eye IN the house. 

{sigh}

Song by: Duran Duran

Everybody's Gay

I've held off a week writing this one, though on our Sunday call, I was encouraged to do so. 

So, last Saturday was our Old Man's Running Group annual banquet. Food. Desserts. Two drink tickets and a presentation. 

As we are a charitable non-profit, there is a little presentation about how much we raised, and where those funds ended up going. There is also an awards ceremony. And for the last two years this couple I normally really like have done a slide show of their trip(s) overseas. Yes, they were marathon (Berlin last year, Paris Olympics this year) related, but then we saw all their side trip stuff. 

I left during that last year. And my plan was to leave during it this year. 

The president, is a nice enough guy, but is in his late 60s (not that much older than me, right?) and has a Ph.D in English and teaches, or at least taught, high school kids. 

I cannot effectively put up here a slide he had about his classroom rules (there were five.....kind of) that he was using for tonight's presentation in some weird capacity, and he claims the first rule came from Monty Python. 

1).  No Poofters

Now, I don't know that Monty Python-ism, but it's not out of the realm or probability that they would have used it.

The woman sitting next to me (straight and maybe 45) and knowing I'm gay leans into me and goes, "does that mean what I think it means?".  I said, I have no idea if there is another meaning for it. She pulls out her phone...........there is no other meaning for it. 

Homosexual Man.  That's it. 

Now, I could have been offended, but let's face it, I've been called a LOT worse. And he wasn't calling me a poofter directly. At least I don't think. 

And yeah, I saw the problem, but you get to a point where you kind of shrug your shoulders. 

Fortunately, or un, right after that was the slide show, so I said a goodbye to our table and attempted to sneak out.  Another guy, a great guy, catches up with me outside and asks why I'm going. I just said it was late and I had a sick dog at home. I didn't want to say, "g-d, I can't take another European slide show". 

Ironically, I was not looking to offend. 

The next day - actually the same night, I just didn't check - I got an email from the president of the club. With the subject of: Sorry if I Offended

Blobby, 

After I my presentation tonight it was brought to my attention by two people that the archaic meaning of "pufters" was a derogatory name for you guys. I apologize for this mistake. I should have known to check on any word used by Monty Python.

Oh, man. "you guys".  Or was it supposed to be "you gays"? 

So, I'm assuming I know the two people who talked to him. The woman I sat next to, and I'm assuming (after the fact) that Andrew thought I left early because I was offended.  Just my guess. 

Both are allies, as Carey's brother is gay, and Andrew is a librarian who is all for drag queen book reading and participates in Pride. 

I groaned audibly when I read the email. 710 said I should write back and I should. I just haven't.  Folks on the Sunday call were right that if he is still teaching, and using that slide, any kid who is struggling with their sexuality, this is a bad thing. 

So, for that, I will reply back to him. Thanking him for the note and concern. Telling him, while I wasn't offended personally, I can certainly see why others would and I applaud him in recognizing it and changing his slides for his students. 

It kind of lets him off the personal hook, while hopefully being a teaching moment. 

Honestly, I don't think he meant harm in anyway. It's just one of those oversights. A show and a phrase he's known for 50+ years. I'm not letting him off the hook, but I kind of get it. 

Of course, now that I'm in (half) marathon training, I won't see him this Saturday, which people might take to think I'm butt-hurt and not showing. 

I'm kind of ok with that perception. 

Song by: Lizzo

Cooking with Blobby

Another grim day of news bites. I can't even deal with that today.....or yesterday, as it were. 

So, let's eat our feelings, shall we? I mean, technically, I do this even when I'm not in the doldrums. 

I feel I've made a version of this in a slow cooker, but I"m a bit lazy to figure out if that is true. This is not a slow cooker post, but you know, it's only a few ingredients and it comes together somewhat quickly. 

Anyhoo, it's honey-garlic chicken. Or garlic-honey chicken?  Oddly, the green onions are covering the head of garlic in the above picture. 

Ingredients

2 chicken breasts

Flour

3-5 cloves of garlic, minced (I used five since they were small)

5 T butter (separated)

1 T - vinegar

2 T - soy sauce

5 T - honey

Salt

Pepper

Instructions

Score the breasts. ....and these things were huge. It's the last time I let Instacart pick poultry. 

Salt and pepper these suckers. 

Melt 3T of butter in a medium low pan. 

Add the chicken after you dredge it in flour and shake off the excess. 

Cook on both sides. Brown it. Brown it real good. 

These things took forever, far far too big. 

Add another 2T of butter and add in your garlic. 

Let it cook for 30-60 seconds. 

Add in your vinegar, honey and soy. 

Cook for a few minutes. Things will thicken and meld as you mix it in. 

Turn the chicken a few times in the sauce to it gets coated evenly. 

Spoon some of the sauce over the breasts. Top with the scallion greens. 

Serve up. Add more sauce if you'd like. 

I liked it. I didn't love it. I'm not a huge fan of honey. Maybe if I cut back by a tablespoon or two and added another of soy. It was a bit too sweet for me. Not sickeningly so, but I can't red pepper flake everything now, can I? 

710 liked it more than I, which was good. 

I don't know if it was the chicken, all the butter or the scoring, but I'm not sure I've had chicken as tender as this. 

The breast size (again) was too much. Neither of us finished ours, so we boxed it up the leftovers where it will be an ok lunch. 

It's easy enough, and pretty quick. I'd do it again, but make a few changes. 

Keep On Movin'

While yesterday's post was not really an aberration, I just sometimes hide my despair better than I did yesterday. The actual post may have seemed a departure from the norm a bit, but in my pea brain, it really wasn't. 

After the post published I was at the gym before the crack of dawn and worked out hard. Cardio. Weights. Stretching. Shower. 

Never discount the feeling of a good shower. 

Since my stress fracture, cardio and stretching have all I've been doing. I reintroduced some weights with PT, but a lot of that went to the side when I was rehabbing and just focused on recovery. 

The rest of my day was staying at home and looking after a still recovering Shep - more on that with the Saturday post, but believe me, the post from yesterday included some of that angst as well. 

710 stayed home for part of the morning but then headed to the office. I told him I would skip running last evening so he wouldn't have to rush home to keep tabs on the doggo. 

He insisted I go run. He knows me well enough to know I (and he) would be better if I continued to workout and get my endolphins. 

Honestly, I was looking for a reason to skip the 4 mile run. It was going to be in the teens and dark and as I've said before, when depression hits, it is REALLY easy to skip activities. With his correct insistence, I geared up and went. 

Eventually, I'm glad I did. The gym doesn't always get me out of my head, but running does. As I've said before, I'm not good enough of a runner not to have to think about it constantly while it is happening. 

And for as long as I've done this, I always forget one of the first truisms of running: the first mile is always a lie. 

This first mile sucked. The cold air spurred my asthma. Blech. I thought, I'll just do three miles. But at 1.5 my breathing was better (not good) but my stride really picked up. My thing is not really about catching up with and passing people in my group. I'm happy just to keep up. Yet here I was passing some really good runners. 

I'd end up in the top half of all out there and I even finished before all the folks who opted for only three miles. My time was the best it's been since I've been back and I even stopped briefly. 

As I sit here and type this, I feel better than the few days before this. I know it won't last, but it is a nice respite from what has been a constant barrage of bad news and my overall feeling of dread. 

Ok. Time to wrap up. Have to be at the gym at 05:30. 

Song by: Soul II Soul

Help Me

Honestly, there are days when I see my shrink where I'd think a 5¢ bill is considered massive overcharging. 

Yesterday was one of those days. 

Generally, I like my doc. I think there are some days I just don't like myself. Or my surroundings. Or anything. 

Yesterday was one of those days. 

We had not talked since the inauguration and well, let's just say, the conversation from my side was not pretty. 

It's kind of his fault. He opened with, "how are things going.....?"  I mean, c'mon! It's almost like he was asking for it. 

I covered every doom and gloom thought and scenario I had in my head. My hyper-anxiety was also on the agenda and attached to the doom/gloom thing. It really just came down to how much evil there is and no one seems to care enough to do a thing - and I don't know what to do. 

My problem with yesterday was I was looking for answers and while logically I know that's not what he's there for that specificity, I still wanted................something.  Anything? 

I have no idea what that something / anything was, but more than just pivoting to my meds and if I think they're sufficient. 

My dosage increase happened at first of the year, so that uppage might be off-set by post-inauguration. We both think it might be too soon to keep increasing the dose or just changing tactics where pharma is involved. 

Yeah we talked about the fine line eliminating all social media vs burying one's head in the sand. He already knows I don't read or watch news and while I've whittled down social media, it still sneaks through. People talk too. I can't avoid everything. 

I won't say he was without suggestions. Suggestion. Singular, I suppose.  Have I thought about leaving the country. 

Constantly. 

How much of a reality that actually can be is another discussion. 

On the upside (?) we for the near future, we will be meeting more often. That seems necessary - at least on my part. 

Song by: k.d. lang

My Music Monday

I was going to post about the passing of Marianne Faithfull, but I went in a much darker direction at the time and opted to hold off until My Music Monday. 

I knew "As Tears Go By", but more the Stone's version than Faithfull's. At the time I'm not sure I could have pulled her name out of a hat. 

1979 was when I truly became aware of her with the release of her "comeback" disk Broken English. 

Comeback. She was 33 at the time. 

My 16 year old self assumed she was 50+, but she lived hard and the voice on that record barely resembled her 1960's recordings. 

 Broken English is an amazing disk. At least it was for a teen me. Raw, is the best way to describe it. There is nothing pretty about it and it was considered 'new wave' at the time. 

The title track (today's selection), "Guilt" and the "Ballad of Lucy Jordan" really center the disk, though there were only eight tracks total. 

This disk really set her up for a much more artful 'second half', with critical praise for Strange Weather, Trouble in Mind and a Secret Life - the last one working with David Lynch's composer, Angelo Badalamenti.

The Broken English and going forward version of Faithfull truly made her one of a kind. 

I'm Going Out Tonight

Groundhog day and I'm on repeat. 

I had a post planned.................in my head. And then dry January ended. 

While it did, I had one full beer last night. Hardly the big falling off the wagon. 

It was the Old Man's Running Group annual banquet. 

The idea is nice and all, but not a lot of folks were there, and almost none that weren't at the bakery at 10:00 that same morning.  ....and I'm running with many of them this morning. 

I stayed for two of the four hours, had one of my two beers and that was enough. 

So I ducked out early and came home. My threshold for socializing is very limited at times. 

I'll reschedule what I had in mind for today for this upcoming week. 

Song by: Mary Chapin Carpenter

These Eyes

While we are not all about Shep, we are Shep heavy today.

The man has been home all week being watched and tended to more than normal. Almost 24/7.  The man is a champ and adapting fairly well, though we were thrown a slight complication. 

If we are still on track, and I think we are, he should be out of the cone and have his sutures out this upcoming Monday. 

Shep gives good side-eye when he's begging at the table. 

But he still gets a pup cup because he's a good boy. 

Yeah - we see you there!

Injured or not, he still expects car rides on weekends. 

We have to use 710's car. Rear doors do not accommodate his cone. 

He looks surprised

The setback: Shep either undid some sutures on his back leg, or they came undone during normal movement. He had to have them stapled, with a protective covering. 

And the covering needs a covering when we go out - as he's not allowed to get it wet, which is not easy in the middle of winter. 

....and I spend most of my day with him, including nap time. Just to make sure he's ok. 

The great news is: the bump on his leg was not precancerous. The one on his hip was, but they got everything. So that is a big relief. 

Song by: the Guess Who

Crisis

So much I could touch on today - and honestly am having an issue in where to start. Or focus. 

BTW - you know how I said I can't continue this blog with political posts?  I know I'm digging myself in a mental hole (deeper than it was) but what the actual fuck??? 

I could string these out into 3-4 posts, but that might break me. This one alone might do the trick. 

Medicaid

But I'm starting out with a fucking actual HERO.  The governor of Illinois. Oh, he's in for a fucking heap of a mess and shit from the MAGGATS, but because he told the truth. Went out of his fucking way to tell it. Taking no prisoners. 

Gov. JB Pritzker is a fucking saint. Take at least the first 3 minutes of the video to watch. 

Holocaust II

I know (or, I believe) you all think I'm being an unhinged alarmist regarding a repeat of the Holocaust. I mean, let's hope I am. Let's hope that's all it is. 

But here's another reason I'm probably not wrong. 

Deportations aren't the thing anymore, if they ever were. Deporting would mean sending migrants back to their home country. 

Putting them in camps / prison with probably zero legal recourse is where this is headed. It's another link in the chain and seems so obvious that people just think it won't happen. It is. 

Government Workers / DEI / Airplane Crashes

The three images below are not unrelated. Quite the opposite. 

It's alarming that this administration wants to buy out federal workers. This is not to reduce cost, but to reduce resistance from people who know the agencies and who know their jobs.  Say, the FAA. 

To be clear, I don't think due to having no FAA administrator is why there was a crash in DC yesterday. I do think the turmoil of President Musk (I will continue to call him that just to hopefully keep fucking with the Goooooogle algorithm) interfering will continue to be a big problem down the line. 

Buying out air traffic controller's contract will be an issue. But hey - they're going after media control, food source, they've already cut infrastructure - but if they take transportation.......well........they truly win. 

Not an iota of sympathy for the families, the victims or even his military personnel. Nothing. Sociopath 100%. There is no way around that one. 

But if the air traffic controllers or pilots were persons of colour, female or LGBTQ, we will never hear the end of it. If they're not, he needs to shut hit fucking pie hole. Even if they are, he has to shut his fucking pie hole. (And if you watch the video, it looks to be clearly the military helicopters fault.)

And I know it would have been their last day in the White House press corps, but if ONE reporter just asked him, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??", while he wouldn't answer (let alone coherently) every news outlet would almost have to report the exchange. AND.......it's a valid question. 

The depravity is non-ending. It is just vulgar, and I'm sick to my stomach - literally and figuratively. 

Song by: Bob Marley & the Wailers

F*!#in' Up

Sep 10, 2024 — Former President Donald Trump denied any connection to Project 2025, the handbook for a new conservative government written by the Heritage Foundation. (PBS)

Who is playing Project 2025 Bingo?

Mind you, this is now a few days old.  You can add no gays in the military to this too, I believe. 

I have to believe someone is tracking this item by item, but I cannot bring myself to even look. This is so fucking depressing. Upping my dosage has done little. 

Song by: Neil Young

Fool

Marathon training started last night 

Well......most likely half-marathon training for me. 

Physically, I'm pretty sure I can't do a marathon in the next 16 weeks. Actually, I probably can, but it would be s-l-o-w. 

Mentally, I'm not sure I can run either a full or half. 

I have yet to run over the five mile mark. I know I can, I just haven't. My injury is still to fresh in my mind and I'm constantly worried about re-injury. 

There is no way of knowing if it's an irrational fear or not. Well there is - I could run long distances and see if it happens, but I don't know where my threshold is at this point. 

I got a lot of 'welcome back's which is nice, considering it's my third year with this group and the first was pretty chilly. 

But then......the 'coach' who has been the 'coach' for the entire time, asked my name, so she could check me in. Lord. With some of them I'm at fucking square one. 

Like Troy McLure once shilled on the Simpsons with his self help series: "Get Some Self-Confidence, Stupid". 

I have yet to sign-up for anything in 2025. I know it will be a topic at my next therapy session. My doc will urge me to commit to something. Somg goal. He has been. I've been putting it off. 

I thought it was a big step to go back to training. But it is a 'training' group. Everyone there is goal-oriented. Save me. At least not yet. 

The group, while they train at the same time, will have distances for half or full marathons. Like half will run 4 miles one day while the fulls will run 6-8.  Stuff like that. I might run somewhere between, but I will try not to let pride or stupidity make me run with the longer group. At least not this time around. 

At least that's what I tell myself.  

Song by: Elvis Presley

I Remember

Yesterday was Holocaust Remembrance Day. 

There are two, actually. The one in May corresponds to the 27th day of Nisan on the Hebrew calendar and it marks the anniversary of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising.  The one yesterday, aligns with the liberation of the Auschwitz concentration camp by the Red Army in 1945. 

Honestly, if BLOTUS knew the Russians did something good for the Jews, he might not align with them as much. 

Short of klezmer music, there wasn't a great way to incorporate the date into My Music Monday. 

Even for a day late, and only a week into this administration, there is no shortage of material from which to draw on how we even got to needing designated days to remember the Holocaust. 

Yet........here we are. 

You might remember President Musk's pseudo-non-apology tour 18 months ago, after making antisemitic comments, which he claims he didn't do............but he truly did. And continues to do. 

This popped up on IG the other day, and yes, I screen captured it for today.  Sorry that enbiggening it makes it a little blurry.  

I don't know who blotted out 'death' in some fucked up censoring bullshit. Do they think that is the offensive part of the post? 

Anyway - this is how Germany got there back in the 1930s.  Not caring.  At all. 

One can claim "they" didn't want to be the Jews, the gays, the disabled, the Gypsies who were murdered and they were saving their own skin - literally. But it goes deeper than that. 

And this is how Holocaust II happens. Is happening. 

Mass deportations. Voting rights most likely stripped away. Media control. Stopping research for cancer and HIV. No passports for trans people currently.  

The wheels are in motion.   ......and so many people don't care.  Just like Musk. 

I fucking HATE to say it, but two people could speak up and call them out - but their lives would be spared anyway more so if they didn't:  Ivanka and Jared. 

How self-loathing of Jews can they be to watch their father and friends be ok with all of this? 

Speaking of loathsome children

This is happening. 

Song by: Damien Rice

My Music Monday

Maybe because it's the 183rd day of January, maybe it's the times in which we are now living, but I'm feeling a few grades below melancholy. 

I suppose that would be 'depression'. 

This makes for sad music. 

Sad-ish reading too. I'm about to start my sixth book of the month today. Let's hope it's a little more up than the last five. I mean, no book on Josef Mengele is going to be a laugh-riot, you know? 

The others have all been fiction - some with more updated references that still reflect (or include) some of today's political landscape - as is this new one which I'll be cracking today. 

Anyway, back to music. 

Years ago I whittled down my XM stations, to lower my bill, there are certain times of the year they provide me all stations. They do this for a week or two, I'm assuming to entice me to re-up with all 13,091 stations - 99% for which I have no need or want. 

The last time happened around t-giving and they never took any away, though it seems my pricing did not change. I'm sure it will come back to bite me. 

I'm normally not a fan of one artist stations. Does Phish need their own (no!)? Does Pearl Jam (no!)?  Does Jimmy Buffet (fuck no!)?  The only one I let slide is Tom Petty.  But lately I've been stopping on Bruce Springsteen's channel - especially if the selections are from Nebraska or the River. These are two of Springsteen's more down disks. 

I like both disks. The former is very stripped down, just Springsteen, no E Street Band. The latter has the band, but the songs that stand out are the non-radio ready songs....like the title track. 

I was torn between "the River' and Nebraska's "Highway Patrolman". While I love the latter, it might even be too down for you. But at some point you should give it a listen. 

I'll go with the title track to the River.  It's unofficially a sequel to "Thunder Road". Where that was an upbeat song, this is the reality of "Thunder Road"'s after the fact. 

What's My Name?

I'm in a mood.  

Surprise Surprise. 

I won't inflict it on you today..........but.......who knows. 

Instead it's time for some nonsense. A week or two ago, this amused me. My husband and friends have been "tortured" with it, so why not you too?

The name. The shift of the head. Weirdly mesmerizing. 

Song by: the Clash

Freezing

It's been a long frigid week.  At one point going to -12.0 °F, and it felt like it (colder with the wind chill). A few times, if the sun came out and there was no wind, the sub-zero seemed almost tolerable. 

Almost. 

It was a bad week to have the vet remove two bumps from Shep - which were biopsied a week or so ago and were deemed precancerous. The procedure went well and he's fine. I assumed this procedure would be more dermatologic-like but it was pretty extensive. 

I feel bad for the poor guy. So, he's had constant oversight since and will until his follow up in 10 days. This is his first cone since we've had him. I'm assuming he had one when he got neutered, but he was probably in the kennel for that - and not having stairs, doorways and furniture he has to navigate. He's adapting pretty well. 

So, on with the slide show. 

Shep giving what for to a bronze statue of a mule - which stands along the Ohio Erie Canal. 

Stylin' in his new Carhartt outerwear. I LOVE the corduroy collar.

No guilt. Right in front of me. 

Shep trying to relax the day after surgery. 

Simon not sure what the hell is going on. 

Simon likes the heat from the radiator below. Why wouldn't he?

I'm sorry, but the jacket just kills me. 

Song by: Nick Lowe