Green Yellow and Red

The second marathon is in the books. More like a pamphlet really. 

I have very mixed emotions on Sunday's run, and I'll get to those in a bit. 

If weather were to be believed, it could have been a nice day. I mean, it was a gorgeous day.......if you were going to the beach. 

You might not think starting a run at 60°F would be a bad thing. But for a race - let alone a long long one - I'd prefer 10 degrees cooler.  15 would have been even better. You dress for 10 degrees warmer, and even by that, it would end being 10 degrees off the mark from what it would be. 

Race conditions are rated in Low (Green), Moderate (Yellow), High (Red),  Extreme (Black). 

We started off with Green. 

Like my first, I was a bundle of nerves once I got to the site. I'd done my pre-race fueling and the bathroom stops. Yes, multiple. But I was anxious. I suppose most people are. Last year, I ran with a new friend, and while he was running this year, he was pacing slower than I. I knew a lot of folks between the two running groups, yet I ran alone. 

The first quarter went swimmingly. Time-wise and joint-wise. I made the first hill with little problem. The second elevation was a little tougher - and the weather was heating up. Also my gut was not feeling good. Part of me thought I would puke....part thought I needed a port-a-pot. I ended up at the latter at mile 10. Oddly, in my two years of running, I've never had to stop - at races or in training. This was going to slow down my time. Oddly enough, it turns out I didn't even need to go - but as they say: "never trust a fart". 

As I neared the split, I won't lie, I was wondering if I could run in with the half-marathoners and just collect that medal instead. But I went left, over the bridge into the west side. 

At mile 15-ish, 710 and Shep were there. I stopped for a minute because, I was cracking. Shep was EXTREMELY excited to see me. I told 710 I wasn't sure how I was going to make it. He handed me a bottle of water and off I went. 

The last six miles were just brutal. There wasn't a lick of shade in that last six, not there was much in the first 20. But five of the last six were on the shoreway. They closed down six lanes of highway. And the last three were all hills. Motherfuckers. 

At mile 21, I noticed the race conditions were upped to Red. If they ever did Yellow, I never saw it, or maybe it just jumped a level. Mile 21 was also the point my hip really started hurting. My knees?  Hell, they held up nicely. But running was painful due to the hip. 

Mile 22 had me encounter an ambulance. They were strapping some guy on the gurney and moving him to the vehicle. I won't lie: I was slightly envious of him. 

Mile 24 had a cheer group from training crowd. Better yet, a guy named Bruce ran out to me, offering a bottle water or Gatorade. I took the latter and kept moving. But I can't tell you how important their presence was at that juncture. 

The last 200 yards should have been uplifting, but they were hard. I passed a guy who clearly had heat stroke (or a stroke stroke).  I stopped and asked if he needed assistance. Someone else asked if he wanted water. He declined both. I kept going, but I shouldn't have - though it would turn out the medical folks were only a dozen yards away if needed. 

Allegedly, the race conditions were upped to Black, and rumour had it that they were pulling some people off the course. When I was running east on the shoreway, I saw people still heading west, which meant I was 5 miles ahead of them. In theory, I could have said, "I'm not doing poorly", but what I really felt was sorry for them. 

At a few water stops people had hoses. I could not tell how they were hooked-up, or to what. Usually they'd make an arc for people got a mist.  Me?  I walked right into them and on the last three (or four), I said:  just hose me down, top to bottom, then back to front.  They loved it, but not more than I. 

I made it in. 710 was waiting. While he was behind a barrier, I reached over and hugged him and almost cried. Not tears of joy though. Maybe relief?  Mental breakdow?

Usually in those situations, I get my medal and kind of do a grab for all the snacks and doo-dads that might be there. Not so much this time. I was in very much a daze. A woman shoved a bottle of water in my hand, but then I saw the chocolate milk guy. I took TWO bottles and stood there and told him that I loved him. 

Anyone, and everyone, else probably took pics of themselves with their medals. Not I.  710 snapped one and sent it to Morty, who shared it with the group. That is the one picture I have from the day that came from our cameras. I was going to take a pic in front of the 'finished' sign / bell, but there was a line, which in theory would go quickly - but poses.  Everyone woman - yes, sorry, only the women - were doing multiple poses, with husbands, then children, then everyone, then mothers-in-law.  Take your fucking picture and move. It's hotter than fuck and there is a line. I left without getting the pic. 

By the time I was finished with the race, it was 82°F.  Again, add 10 for the runners.  So yeah - I finished, as I just mentioned, but it was anything but pretty. 

So, the mixed emotions thing - and I'm glad I waited a day to draft this, so I could hopefully gain perspective:

I'm sure due to the heat, I did not enjoy this race. At all. I hope it was due to the heat because on the back half of the course I was saying I was happy I didn't get into Chicago or New York and that I had no business running marathons and this would be my last one. 

Maybe it will be. Maybe not. Today (yesterday), my thoughts have softened. 

My training had me having the probability of a five and one-half hour time.  In my head I really wanted something under five hours - even if it was only by a second. My actual time was somewhere between the two. So, in an overwhelming certain way, I felt I failed as I didn't get my want-to goal. 

 My chip time was 00:02:59 longer than my first marathon. This course was undeniably harder; the conditions much harsher. .....and I had the bathroom break. 

In reality - I should be very happy with that time. Still, I thought I progressed in my abilities since last October. At least more so than the clock shows.  710 and Morty say I should be proud of my accomplishment, and I'm hoping that kicks in, because I still feel like I failed to a degree. 

Morty so aptly stated on our Sunday call: I didn't train for this marathon. I trained in snow, ice, cold and rain. No one was training for an 80+ degree marathon. 

Fall marathons (or halves) might be the way to go. The chances of them being cooler are greater. And climate change isn't helping matters. 

I'm glad I did it. Sunday afternoon I would not have said that.  I literally have the medal and a banana. And sunburn. Two of those will disappear eventually. 

My recovery has been quick. My toes were a little ouchy, but not so bad now. My hip is tender. My sunburn is too. But the legs and knees are good. I get around with no issues, so for that I'm thankful. 

Where do I go from here? I'm not sure. I have smaller races during the summer, but for a few moments on Sunday I was wondering if I'd run again.  This morning, I will be doing three miles.  I took one day off. I'll be back at it. 

Song by: Rosanne Cash

My Music Monday

Still doing new music lately. 

Today, it's St. Vincent and her new single, "Broken Man".

She based the entire composition around some sounds she made that you hear at the beginning and then she takes it throughout the entire song. 

I'd consider it a non-traditional song / single, but it works. 

There are some songs that lend themselves to what I call 'night driving' songs. Dead of night, you on an open, somewhat desolate road. This fits that category. 

The irony is: I can count on one hand how often I drive at night anymore. 

Back Stabbin' Betty

Betty gives zero fucks. 

I love Betty. 

Song by: Cage the Elephant

Rolling

Another week, which means cat and dog pictures. Kind of what the internet was made for........other than porn, 

Someone anticipated my return home. 

I do hope people walking down the street look up and see him. 

We go to this park so often, they should name it after Shep. 

Second time with tuna, 

I hadn't even finished opening the can before he showed up.

The good thing is: he's not actually rolling in anything but grass. 

Simon does like to hang over the steps below. 

I don't think he'd jump, but........he is after all........him. 

I love this guy SO much,. 

Bird and Squirrel watching. 

Song by: Better Than Ezra

Hate (I Really Don't Like You)

I was hoping not to have to address Kansas City Chiefs kicker, Harrison Buttkick Butker, but as his teammate's girlfriend sang, "a hater's gonna hate" - and should be called out for it. 

At this point, many have you heard he gave a commencement address at some bullshit Catholic university - and a well prepared one at that. These are not in-the-moment comments he made. 

“I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you,” he said. “How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.

Zoiks!

At least he didn't take away their footwear or relegate them only to the kitchen, though I assume that was implied. 

Maybe the women in attendance were shocked, as I didn't hear one "boo" or "fuck you".  Or maybe, as it is a Catholic university, they were like, "yup, that's us!".  Either way, I'm disappointed 

He goes on to say how his wife is a "homemaker". And it's a great thing, since she can stay at home on his $20MM contracted salary. Most households will need both incomes.............dick. 

BTW, what does your mother - a medical physicist at Emory University think of this. Better yet, what the fuck does he think of his mom? Sounds like embarrassed she has a job outside the home!

The problem is bigger of course. Everyone is focusing on the women's portion, but no worries - he got in LGBTQI+ digs in too: 

• Butker encouraged graduates to have Catholic pride, but “not the deadly sin sort of pride that has an entire month dedicated to it.”

• He criticized President Joe Biden, who is Catholic, and other unnamed Catholic leaders for “pushing dangerous gender ideologies onto the youth of America” — an apparent reference to transgender rights.

• Butker also waded into the DEI debate, saying, “The world around us says that we should keep our beliefs to ourselves whenever they go against the tyranny of diversity, equity and inclusion.”

Diversity?  Huh Harrison (btw.....GAY name!). I cannot wait for training camp to start with a team that mostly made up of minorities whose right have been squashed for centuries - right down to BLM, which the NFL does not support - no matter what they say. 

Yeah Yeah - the NFL is "distancing" themselves from Buttkick's comments and say they don't reflect their views, but they kind of do - except for all the female viewers who have flocked to watch football, whether due to Taylor Swift or not. The NFL still wants that cash. 

But here's hoping your locker room experience going forward isn't a good one. Let's hope the "diverse" team doesn't "include" you - you fucking racist, sexist, homophobic pussy. 

I don't even want him walking back his statements. They'd be untrue - and lying is a sin Harrison. 

Song by: Plain White T's

Gaslighter

I had a most unproductive sleep the night before last. 

At 03:43, I heard less than mild thumping. Not quite bass.  Not quite bass drum. It was the same beat - and it kept going and going. 

It was warm out, so our windows were open partially. I just laid there not being able to get it out of my head and not believing someone was having some after hours party near us - and didn't invite us!   (kidding on that last part). 

At one point, I got up, put on my glasses and went to the front window. I saw no signs of life. I went to the back of the house, the "music" was definitely louder that way.  I shut the window hoping it would help. 

It did not. 

I went back to bed, but sleep wasn't happening. 

Now and then the sound would stop and I'd breathe a sigh of relief, only for it to start up a short while later. 

I considered calling the police for noise disturbance, but I didn't know from where the sound was coming. I considered getting in my car and looking to find it - and then throw a brick through their window. 

Honestly, I was hoping a close neighbor to the noise would have knocked on their door or call the po-po. 

After an hour or so, I nudged 710. I asked him if he heard anything - to which he replied he did not. I'd even tell him when the sound went off and back on. Still he heard nothing. 

This was upsetting to me. Now, I was feeling I was having auditory hallucinations. And no, I'm not joking. I stayed in place for another 30 minutes, nudged 710 again and told him to go to the back window where I swear it was louder. 

When he did that, he heard the sound(s). At least it was one symptom I could cross of my 'crazy' list, 

It turns out, the music was coming from our house. Specifically from 710's office on the third floor.

I have noticed, when I'm home and he's working, if he's not on a call, he will play his dance music. Not loudly, but I can hear the beat. I jokingly call his office "Cafe Disco". 

He came down apologizing. He knew I was starting to be weirded out by thinking I was hearing things. But also because the music was playing - which was also weird. 

His laptop was closed for starters. But in theory the music would have been playing all the evening before bed time and I'd have heard it before 03:43. 

Yesterday would be an exhausting day for both of us, as none of us got any sleep after that. The mental angst did nothing to help me either. 

Song by: the Chicks

App of the Month

Admittedly, I'm intrigued by this app.  In reality, I'm sort of failing this app. 

Minutiae  - or mi:nu:ti:ae- bills itself as an anonymous anti-social media app. 

I'm not so sure about that. 

I could copy and paste their manifesto here (who are they, Ted Kaczynski?), but it might be more prudent for you to read it here. 

What happens is, participants are asked to take an image at a time when the app notifies you to take one. It's the same time for all participants, regardless of where they are in the world. 

A daily message is sent and good for one minutes, but once you click on it, you have less than 10 seconds to take the pic. 

Should you miss the message or the time limits on them you don't participate for that day. 

You can block out times you don't want to receive a message (me?  22:00 - 06:00).  So, should the notification come out at certain days during that time, I would not participate. 

The times are very random. For the two weeks I've been doing it, I've only seen three messages. Two I've gotten and taken images  - the other I missed the window. 

The idea is to document the normalcy of life. The undocumented moments. Not the things you'd post on social media. I mean, yeah, if you're at a party you at the right time, you can take a pic of that, but the reality is closer to this:

I got the message while "sitting on the throne", so what you see is what they got. Just be happy I didn't reverse the camera, right? 

The project goes over 1440 days. I'm not 100% sure if it's that amount of days from the start of the app, or from when I joined.  Right now, I'm not jam-packed with images. I'm assuming from the below image, it is the former. 

One-third of the way down the grid, on the far left is my first image, a test image you take when you join. The other two images you can kind of see. The black squares - I think - are the times I got notifications and missed the window. I'm guessing there aren't more blacked-in squares because it was on my blocked times. 

All guesses, since I haven't quite read through the entire FAQ. 

I'd assume you could see what other people took at that same time, but I haven't figured that out either. 

I probably should have done all that before writing my App of the Month post. 

Sigh.  Oops. 

Broke

OMFG!  It keeps getting worse for Rudy - and I could not be more thrilled. 

Actually, that's a lie. If he were locked up, I would be more thrilled. If he got hit by a locomotive, I'd be ecstatic. 

If he folded and told the truth on BLOTUS, I'd probably spontaneously ejaculate. 

Yeah - I said that 

ABC has suspended (possibly fired) Guliani for continually repeating false election fraud nonsense on his radio show.  The show that was basically his only source of income - reportedly at $400,000 a year. 

That amount is great for you and myself, but when you compare it to his $150MM+ dollars in debt....$400k a teardrop in an ocean. 

Now there are also reports that he told the brass he wants double the airtime and double the salary. I mean, he needs double the salary for sure, but.......    I mean for fuck sake, it's AM radio.   AM!!!   Who the fuck is listening to that?  No way advertisers are tossing money into that to make up the current salary he's making, let alone twice the amount. 

I think my favourite part of the story is he has a YouTube talk show that is called America's Mayor Live.  

LOLLLLLLLLLL

Yeah - if the show ran from 2001-2004.  Maybe. 

He doesn't get the irony of it all, which is just precious. But I assume he'd have legal issues if he called it "Pariah Carey".

Now, I haven't gone to the YouTube channel, so I haven't seen the comments (should they have that function still turned on his site) because, how could people not troll the shit out of him. 

The dude was trying to sell his NYC and Florida residences for $$$, but no bidders. Why would there be? I mean, that spirit cleaning lady from Poltergeist can only do so much. 

Oh - and a bankruptcy court called him out last week too. For someone who is "bankrupt", he is on a budget of something like $43,000 per month!  He's spending $120,000. 

First off, how does he even have $43k, let alone $120??  Per month!

Secondly, one of his expenses is $13,500 monthly nursing home fees for his ex-wive's (not sure which one) mother - who died two months ago. 

Now, my mom had a decent place and good car in hers. but it was only one-third of what Rudy's ex mom-in-law was spending. But since that's not an expense anymore, why isn't his budget $13,500 less than the current $43,000? 

It's all smoke and mirror anyway, since he's not sticking to the budget in the first place. Interested to see what, if anything, the courts do on this. 

I do not have one iota of sympathy in my being for this man. He's as vile as the man with whom he's been starring in their own version of Human Centipede for the last eight years. 

Like Von ShitzhisPants - just die already. 

Song by: Modest Mouse

12 of 12

So I'm doing my 169th 12 of 12.

Normally it is 12 pictures taken on the 12th of the month. Since I only post once per day, you get my images the following day. All pictures taken with my iPhone. Click images to enlarge, if you choose.

Created by Chad Darnell and picked up from, what I can tell, any number of random bloggers who then link back to him and vice versa. Chad is no longer doing this, nor is successor coordinating the linking of other 12 of 12'ers anymore.  

00:08.  Weird pic, but it was my clock. I must have moved. 

Usually, an image like this would be me waking up in the "middle" of the night, but we had gone Northern Lights hunting.....unsuccessfully.  Can't remember last time I was purposefully up at midnight. 

06:23. Morning NYT games. 

06:42. Mush: deconstructed.

07:35. I'm on E.  

I mean, like almost literally. --miles until empty. THAT can't be good. 

07:45. Petrol.  Obvi. 

09:01. Cool down walk after a 5.2 mi run. 

Sunday's running group is smaller than a Saturday, but even smaller yesterday, no doubt due to it being Mother's Day.  7 runners, 4 walkers, 1 cyclist. 

09:49. Post run / post cool down gathering. 

On Sunday, it's Panera. The Saturday bakery is much much better. 

Jim - in the cervical collar - was hit a few weeks back by a car while he was on his bicycle. 

FYI: third time he's been hit. That cannot be a coincidence. 

10:27.  Passing the steel mills on my way home from the running group. 

12:47. Lunch.  

Left over from yesterday; half of a pulled pork sandwich. It was so-so at best, but I wasn't gonna waste it. 

13:56. Afternoon hike. 

Lots and lots of stairs. It tired Mr. Shep out greatly. 

15:30. Hanging in the back yard. 

19:20. Firing up the grill. 

Northern Lights

In theory, I had heard all the buzz about possibly seeing the Aurora Borealis  from most anywhere in the U.S. - as long as it was north of Alabama. 

Theory, when it comes to matters of celestial events, rarely pans out in the 216. 

I have yet to have any of the asteroid belt events happen on a night when it's not raining or completely clouded over. 

All of the other instances of the nothern lights have never come to fruition, be it from weather related activities or just bogus information. 

It slightly never occurred to me that it would happen or that there'd really be anything to see. So, I went to bed my normal time, as I had a run on Saturday morning. 

If Facebook is to be believed, we are the only house in the U.S. who didn't see the spectacular show that the heavens provided. I will admit to being envious and a lot of FOMO. 

Half the people in the running group swears they saw it too. They're older than I, so I'm skeptical. 

Maybe seeing the totality in April was my one shot at seeing anything this cool. 

That said, allegedly, they can still be seen tonight (last night, now) and possibly the next day. 

Blobby took his 2 hour nap, so if the conditions don't suck, maybe - just maybe - I'll catch a glimpse of these yet!

Song by: Death Cab for Cutie

Hanging by a Moment

Let's just get right to the pics, shall we? 

FYI: Simon is very comfortable in his home. 

When I said Shep spends most of the day outside - I mean it. He even takes his meals out there now. 

I'm not sure how long he'd hold out if he had to come inside and eat. 

Always gotta win.  Always. 

Haven't seen Bailey in a while. I'll have to see my sister, so I can see Bailey. 

Hard to believe the lamp hasn't been toppled. 

Lake portrait. I sprung him from daycare early for a walk around the lake. 

They oddly hang here at least once per day. Together. 

Yeah, he doesn't care about the barriers we set up so he wouldn't do that. 

Actually, I trust him on this - and he's a great jumper should he want to his the staircase below him. 

Song by: Lifehouse

Stick Season

We are a little over a week away from the Cleveland Marathon. 

I don't know what to think. Or overthink, in my case. 

Theoretically, I know the pitfalls of the mental part of my taper and yet I'm still falling prey to them. 

Unlike the last marathon, my setbacks were all mental. This time I have physical added. 

My ortho doc (well, a training Fellow) loaded me up with one cortisone injection to my left hip. He was the 19th medical professional to tell me how tight my IT bands were. That said, he said something no one else ever had:  "some people are just built this way and there is little to no loosening some of these".  It oddly made me feel better 

Let's hope the shot does too. I wanted a second one in my right hip as well, as that is now being somewhat affected. Everyone (myself included) believes it's due to overcompensation due to pain on my left side. It's mechanics. Period. 

My last few runs have felt horrible. Timing is fine, but the body hasn't liked it. The 90% and up in humidity has not been helpful. Or the temps in the upper 70s. Tough tackling 5-6 miles, or even the 12 I did last Saturday. Not sure how I'll conquer 26.  The temps need to drop. Or I'll need strategically placed people throwing ice water on me as I pass them. 

Good news:  my ortho guy will be on the course manning the mile 14.9 aid station. My chiropractor will be at the expo the day before. I should be good. 

Deep down I think I will be anyway. But I also know the last three miles of the route are all uphill. Well, maybe not the last third of a mile. That's brutal. 

Hopefully the injected steroid kicks in before my last long run (tomorrow). That is all hills too. My final week will be easy runs for me. I will save my energy - physical and mental - for the "race". 

I still need another hour or two in my playlist to build. And to pick out what I'll run in. The shorts are easy. The shirt - well, it will be somewhat weather dependent. 

Blah.  I'm just venting here more than writing. This is for my own psyche. 

Song by: Noah Kahan

Heartworms

The NYT report on Robert Kennedy Jr is somewhat laughable - if you ask me. 

Not their reportig style exactly, but printing whatever the fuck that campaign is feeding them. I'm very tired or news outlets "reporting" what is basically a press release and they do no actual reporting or investigating 

I'm not saying for certain the NYT did any of that, but concerning a dead worm in his brain........it seems fed to them. There seems to be no questions asked or answered that weren't in a mandatory disclosure. 

First off - it was disclosed during divorce proceedings - and Kennedy said a doctor said.And the doctor said he "believed it was caused.....".  I see zero information that there was any conclusive evidence the man had a worm in his brain.  It seems vague, at best. It also seems self-serving for bringing out the violins while he manipulated his second wife before she killed herself. 

Originally the doc said he had a brain tumor. So - they got that wrong too? 

Of course, maybe the worm (should it have existed at all, as there is nothing in any article saying he got treated for anything!) at away any semblance of normalcy. He seemed good with neurologists, at least at one point - for mercury poisoning to which he was quoted “I have cognitive problems, clearly. “I have short-term memory loss, and I have longer-term memory loss that affects me.”

Yes, by all means. He should be president. Not that I actually believe a word that comes out of his piehole. 

But he can stop with the age / illness shit with Pappy Joe and VonShitzinPants. He's 70 and has Tremors in his own head.  Oh - and has suffered from atrial fibrillation, a common heartbeat abnormality that increases the risk of stroke or heart failure. 

I think he doesn't believe in Covid and vaccinations as then he'd have to outwardly admit his own health and the realities of it all. If he makes voters skeptical of one medical issue, he can hopefully make them doubt the others. 

He's a douche. 

Song by: the Shins

Zero

It's a little early in the month for this, but I got nothing. 

I know Stormy was supposed to testify today - I think, but, I didn't even gander at headlines. 

I'm on a bad bend in my mental taper for the marathon, which is in 10 days. So I won't delve into that - if only for my own sanity. 

I'll leave you with a few of former Cav, Kevin Love - also a zero.  

Song by: Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Die Already

Reading only headlines, if that, is somewhat freeing. 

I can backstory just about anything - good or bad. Usually I go dark. It's my nature. It's certainly my nature for the last few years. 

These last eight years have been dark. They have put me in a funk - and not like Bootsy Collins. I see no respite from this, even if Pappy Joe wins. 

The turmoil that will come with another BLOTUS loss will be worse than 2020. They are gearing up for that. We should as well. 

That said, this headline yesterday momentarily made me joyful. 

When I say momentarily - I mean a nanosecond. 

I don't know what BLOTUS said or did - and it really doesn't matter - because I didn't read past the headline. 

What I will say is: anyone else held in contempt 10 times wouldn't be threatened with jail time. It would BE jail time. And B.T Wbs - anyone else isn't getting 10 chances. 

I saw last week some Rep or Senator has said they would put forth to Congress that Von ShitzinPants gets his Secret Service detail removed should he be found guilty of any of the number of federal crimes in which he is charged. 

I wholeheartedly agree. You can't have Secret Service in prison with this fat fucker protecting him. And I ain't paying for it. 

Just die already. 

Actually, can you imagine him dying in August? September?  No way for the GOP to truly get another candidate up and running for a November election. 

Yes. Just die already.  September 30th would be optimal. 

Song by: Prodigy

My Music Monday

I have a new song for my running playlist. 

Music is odd this way. Songs you think will work don't, but you might not know it until it's loaded and you're out on the road. The Pretender's "Mystery Achievement" was one of those. Great song, but it didn't work. 

Nothing But Thieves has a new-ish song out with "Oh No;; He Said What?". 

Admittedly, when I first heard it a month or two ago, it didn't click with me. Normally, I'm not a falsetto kind of guy, but with this song, it works. It has a good energy with which to keep momentum and pace.  But I'm finding it just as good to listen to while in the car. 

Depends

I have to admit, there are days I almost regret avoiding most news.  I said "almost".  ....and a lot of social media things. 

Like - I have no idea about this man/bear thing is supposed to be about and I can't be bothered to figure it out. 

I know the Cleveland Cavaliers are still in the basketball playoffs, so in theory, I know they've won some games, but not how many or even where in the series we are. 

Oh - and I totally missed Michael Cohen tweeting (of X'ing?), calling BLOTUS "Von ShitzinPants". 

That tweet from a few weeks ago was funny enough.  I don't have X so, I certainly didn't see it there. But I hadn't encountered it elsewhere either. 

Know what's funnier even? 

Discussing gag orders in court, the judge mentioned that Cohen should stop poking the bear (or man?) or a gag order regarding BLOTUS would / could be reduced so BLOTUS could go after Cohen. 

But in these proceedings, BLOTUS' own lawyer read out the tweet. 

Know what's better than 'open court'?   "Von ShitzinPants" is now in the official court record. 

Von ShitzinPants (which now might replace "BLOTUS") must have been livid that it was said, repeated and repeated and repeated - and then on newscasts and now blogs!

I. Could. Not. Be. More. Pleased. 

Song by: Blink 182

Outsider

We are a little Shep deficient this week. I know the feline lovers here won't care. 

While we haven't had Simon a year yet, we assume he is a year old now. 710 arbitrarily selected April 1st as his birthday. I think it's at least three weeks after that, but who is to say. We'll leave it as April Fool's Day. 

As it is, pet day does not lend itself to Star Wars Day. I wanted to make something work, but it's not happening. 

May the Force be with you. 

Simon has found a duster and decided it is a toy and drags it all over the house. 

It probably gets more use that way. 

Now that it's Spring, Shep spends about 50% of the day outside. And when I say 50%, I mean 12 hours. Sometimes more. 

A rare occasion indoors found him sunning himself while he napped. 

Simon likes the windows. He has many from which to choose. 

Lately, it's been our bedroom window, which we open the blinds in the morning, so he can come and go all day as he sees fit. 

It's not like Simon is blocking Shep to come in. 

Shep isn't coming in unless ordered. ....and even then, he'll balk at the idea. 

Song by: Julianna Hatfiield 

the Beekeeper

Hot dogs. Apple pie. Baseball. 

All-American things, no? 

Rarely do I eat apple pie. Hot dogs are usually only consumed at baseball games, and only if a brat isn't the better choice. 

But I am happy not to have a political post today. I don't know why, but this story just tickles me. 

Wednesday night, the Arizona Diamondbacks and Los Angeles Dodgers game was delayed due to a swarm of bees that had taken up residence behind home plate. 

They called the beekeeper. A beekeeper. One who left his son's baseball game to come save the day for the major league teams. 

While he was capturing the queen and getting the bees, the stadium was playing Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero". 

Afterwards, he was asked to throw out the first pitch of the game. 

I'm sure they had someone else planned to do it, but they got 86'd.  Or maybe just rescheduled. 

Matt Hilton took to the mound and got the pitch over the plate, but graceful it wasn't. Though I'm not saying I'd have done any better. 

Speaking of better.......it gets better. Topps - for anyone who ever acquired or traded baseball cards, along with shards of "gum" - is creating a baseball card of Mr. Hilton. 

I love everything about this. 

I love how he is into it. Walks up to the mound and flings back his beekeeping hat. And of course, he's all-American handsome too. None of this hurts the storyline.  ....and it looks like he has big feet too. 

Here's a link to a 21 second clip. 

I need to do more feel-good stories here. 

Song by: Tori Amos