Saturday, December 29, 2007

Fortunate Son

We went to a Thai restaurant. It was a good meal - we each had an appetizer and then we split the entree of Mango Chicken. Nummmmy.

Naturally, at the end, we got our fortune cookies (I don't remember thai restaurants giving out fortune cookies to be honest). They were as follows:

Your loyalty is a virtue,
but not when it's wedded
to blind stubbornness.

Care and attention
to the key relationships
in your life will pay off.

....while in bed.

Ok - anyone care to guess which one was mine?

Oh C'mon! I mean - have you even been reading this blog???

Song by: Creedence Clearwater Revival

Friday, December 28, 2007

I'm a Woman

It's not really news anymore that Benazir Bhutto was assassinated yesterday. Not to sound crass, but if you followed the news of the last 2-3 months, none of this could be construed as a surprise. A few attempts had been made on her life just in this time frame. ....and it's not like Musharraf was really jonesing to run against her (or anyone else) for Prime Minister of Pakistan.

But all of this got me thinking about for all of the U.S. "advancements", women's equality still lags behind well, most other countries. England had Thatcher as Prime Minister (27 years ago), India had Indira Gandhi (41 years ago), Israel had Gold Meir (38 years ago) and yes, Pakistan had Bhutto (19 years ago).

So why is U.S. is just getting around to our first serious female contender for president in Hillary Clinton? ....and it's quite possible she won't even be the DNC nominee, let alone win the presidential race. If she does all that, we'll only be 19-41 years behind just about anyone else. Yipeee.

And it is quite possible she won't be president ever. Since for some unknown reason, we are still so frickin' set in our ways of picking a candidate - besides white male: you seemingly have to hunt and have been in the military. We're forced, as days get closer, to see men with guns killing things and touting their military records. How can a woman possibly compete with this?

I guess will have to wait for Jennifer Lynch (was that her name?) to run.

Again - I'm not really supporting Hillary at this point, but I'm just sayin'.......

Song by: Miss Peggy Lee

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I Need Some Fine Wine and You, You Need to be Nicer

Denton's aunt got him some gourmet English muffins for the holidays. They are very nice and from a good store/supplier.

She sent me a cookbook - and a half-case of wine.

I'm not sure exactly what this all means. I've narrowed it down to either she thinks I need to drink to be with him, or that I'm just an alcoholic. To be fair, I don't remember ever drinking in front of her. So I guess I'll have to go with the former - though it is 100% speculation.

...and of course I kid.

The cookbook is probably so I provide decent meals to her possibly favourite nephew. I only paged through the book quickly, but they are seemingly things that look extremely doable. And better yet - things I'd not only want to cook, but to eat! So many cookbooks are so fussy - and that's just not how I roll when it comes to food.

The more I cook, the more I like it. I find it very relaxing and I'm easing up on not exactly following the recipe and experimenting a little more. Nothing too wild, but using spices and ingredients that are not called for. So far nothing has gotten too screwed up and all seems pretty edible.

Of course, even if it is marginal, it is nothing a bottle of wine won't fix.

song by: the Cardigans

Monday, December 24, 2007


In 2007, I've purchased a number of cds - legitimately, I might add! Some were from the brick & mortars, but about half were through iTunes.

From the 15 or so disks I've shelled out cash for this year, I thought since I do an album of the month, it only stands to reason I do an album of the year.

I am sticking with my July album of the month as being the disk of the year: Arcade Fire's Neon Bible. Last year, I picked a disk I didn't make one of my monthly choices....but to be fair, I had only started doing this monthly entry mid-year.

I'll let you go to my original post to read on what I thought about the disk then. It really hasn't changed in the on-going months. It still resides in my car and I still play it frequently.

But since I don't want to leave you with a repeat, maybe I can list a few songs I think that were outstanding for 2007 - some may surprise you, some won't:

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
Most think it's about "Rehab", it's really about the title track
Phantom Limb - the Shins
The words are seemingly non-sensical, but it works
The Pretender - Foo Fighters
Love the song
You'll Remember - Patty Griffin
If the rest of the disk was this strong, it would have been a winner
Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
From the movie Once. If you haven't seen it, I believe it is on DVD. Better than the version from the Frames - which also has Mr. Hansard as a member
Never Again - Kelly Clarkson
This might be the one that would surprise you. Trust me, I am constantly amazed that I like it
Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us - Alison Krauss & Robert Plant
Plant might do some really distant background vocals. Maybe. But I like the song from a very marginal disk
Pour Le Monde & Walked Her Way Down - Crowded House
Wasn't thrilled with the first song for a long time, but the second one was always great
Lucky Stars - Marti Jones
Technically I think this was a 2003 song that didn't make it onto her last disk but was made available for free download on Not her strongest outing, but I'll always take
in something from her
Ghost in My Machine - Annie Lennox I just groove to the cajun squeezebox. Literally. No Who sexual overtones
Perfect Crime #2 - the Decemberists
Technically Q4 2006, but I didn't hear it until 2007
Unsuffer Me & Where is My Love - Lucinda Williams
It's a toss up between the songs. So I'm not choosing. I don't have to. It's my blog
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy
"Up and at them!" I like it mainly for the chorus. And by 'mainly', I mean 'only'
New York is a Woman - Suzanne Vega
A completely overlooked disk for 2007. Not horribly different for Ms. Vega though

What song(s) do you think should have made the cut?

I have a fear my 2008 disks of the month might be older releases. There is nothing new out there I'm excited by - nor have I heard of any intriguing upcoming releases. Hopefully some unexpected things will jump out. But the good thing is, there is lots of stuff that are older that warrants mention - even by me.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

It's My Party

....well....our party, actually.

Last night we had our third annual holiday party in this house. Technically, our third holiday party ever. We never entertained much before moving here.

Around a week prior to, with the menu still unset, we decided maybe making a few hundred hors d'oeuvres might be time consuming as we were both working long hours and I was traveling. ....we found a caterer. For shame.

Actually, it worked out very well. We had them make 3-4 appetizers and then we prepared the cheese plate, the vegetable and dessert trays and then a fruit salad. It looked like enough food to feed a frickin' army.

I was very surprised to see how much food actually was consumed. I didn't eat any of the cheeses (and btw....can I tell you how sexy the Whole Foods cheese guy is?), and most of them disappeared. The bacon wrapped scallops? Gone. The new potatoes with sour cream and chives? Gone. The thai chicken satay? Not all gone, but a lot of it.

Various nuts and mix were inhaled too. THAT was mostly by me. I was busy opening wine and putting a head on everyone's glass. It seems everyone was a fan of white. I think we went through 6-7 bottles of that as opposed to 2 of red. Over a case of beer and then the hard liquor was all utilized also.

But the mood was jovial and only two couples didn't show. Unfortunately, one had a death in the family (a likely story!) and the other........well......they'll have some answering to do to me! For a group of folks who had little, if any, previous interaction, things went well - though I could have done with out the discussion from straight woman on how she waxes everything and how it doesn't really hurt - even when you get back to the anus. Her words - not mine!

I know I drank a lot. But I never really felt it. I think I was working more on adrenaline than anything.

Now we only have to do it all over again on Monday - for family. Minus all the liquor and talk on no anal pain body waxing. ....g-d, at least I hope!

Song by: Leslie Gore

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Here Comes the Son

I am so becoming my father.

It's not the worst thing in the world. The man has a kind heart, but he is a man who can drive me insane with some of his stories, cliches and mannerisms.

Every year we would go to Florida and he'd build up the trip anticipation by saying, "two more weeks and we'll be in Florida!" But as always, the first day we'd be down there he would say, "two more weeks and we'll be home!" Thanks for the damper, dad.

Yesterday, I caught myself thinking (but not saying), "oooh, the days start getting longer today!". But then flashed on my father doing that and on the first day of summer saying, "oh it's all downhill now, the days start getting shorter."


Song by: the Beatles (and yes, I know I spelled the post-title incorrectly)

Friday, December 21, 2007


Yet another installment in the drudgery that is everyday shopping. The camera-phone makes it a bit more fun - though I get looks whenever I take pics of products. Like I care what people think!

I guess it's true - it is cheaper to buy in bulk. Apparently much cheaper. And I wasn't even shopping at Costco!!!!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

(Everyone Knows It's) Cindy

Over the course of some emails with my daily email group, we got to talking about all the places we lived in Columbus and how, where and why we moved.

As it happens, it did not take long for the direction to take a turn regarding roommates, boyfriends, visits to those apartments and said relationships along with the things we did and said about them.

Trust me, we're not striving to be the electronic-aged Algonquin Round Table here - it ends up more like The View (I would assume), but with Kathy Griffin, Andy Dick, Amy Sedaris and Sir Conan Doyle. (Yes, I just threw four random names together - but the last one always solved the mystery and invariably we had to work through the when, where and whys of the past 20 years - so he kind of makes sense.)

Anyway - the story morphed to a location where someone's boyfriend lived and how at one point I went over there to by Ecstasy. No judgements people, this was a LONG time ago! But there were a bunch of guys sitting around whom I knew but didn't know know. Ruckiry (not Jon's boss) a good friend of mine was there, who I will not implicate by name. Anyway, these guys were sitting around drinking and lord knows what else, while watching A Very Brady Christmas.

Ok - xmas specials at best are made in a huge cheese factory, and this one was no exception. Actually, it was a Limburger, that's why I wouldn't dance with it.

But if you've seen it, you'll remember that at some point all the Bradys go around their holiday table confessing something or other: one was secretly unemployed, one couple was having marital problems, Bobby was doing soft-core porn (ok, I made that one up!).

But then they get to Cindy. Well, clearly the salary wasn't enough to entice the original Cindy to do this show - or maybe she just insisted on script approval and lost (or won, in this instance). They had a stand-in Cindy. So, as they get to her, I blurt out my made-up dialogue for her part.

"I'm not really Cindy! She said she never wanted to be part of this family anymore and I needed the job!!!!" I'm paraphrasing because it has been like 17 yrs and I was most likely drunk at the time.

All eyes turned towards me and attempted to burn holes in me. Like that ever works!

My friends laughed, but the rest were taking this tv holiday moment oh so seriously. I mean, they would have thought it was something serious - like Knots Landing!

Song by: The Association (well, kind of)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Santa Baby

This would almost be funny if it probably weren't so close to the frickin' truth.

A fellow blogger pointed me to this site and swore he wouldn't mind if I used it. I don't see how he could as he only showed me the site, it's not his.

Still - Ann Coulter! UGH.

Song by: Eartha Kitt

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Along the Road

Yes - he could be construed as (kind of) schmaltzy, but there was something about some of Dan Fogelberg's early works that I really enjoyed: "Power of Gold", "Part of the Plan", "Morning Sky" and almost anything off his break-through disk, his big hit, "Longer".

Though it should surprise nobody here, I wasn't a big fan of his radio hits - "Leader of the Band" or "Same Old Lang Syne"...or for that matter "Longer" (yes, I really didn't like that much I mentioned it twice). Normally I'm not a big fan of radio hits anyway.

Since I mentioned "Longer", back at OSU, I remember being out to dinner with my friend Lori Silverstein. Some restaurant-employed troubadour came around table to table singing it. I am sure I tried to suppress the laughter, but was unsuccessful. It didn't help that probably a half of bottle of Tanqueray was consumed by this point. The poor guy didn't have a chance and all he was doing was trying to make enough money to pay his rent.

Fogelberg was a big leader in the No Nukes movement of the late '70s, so I gotta respect him for that too. He'll probably never be the guy who gets the career retrospective on any radio or tv program, but he was a talented and decent musician. He also died a day or so ago.

...and he always looked pretty hot when he was sporting a full beard.

Song by: Dan Fogelberg

Monday, December 17, 2007

Somebody's Watching Me

I do try not to talk about work too too much here. Not because it is uninteresting, but there is a minor streak of paranoia I have that someone will find the blog and read too much into it. ...and oddly the persons I don't want to find it? My potential next employer.

No - I'm not looking for a new job, but I'm always thinking of the next move.

So last week I visited a client site - for the first time.

The lack of my personal on-site attention isn't due to my lack of caring, but the remoteness of the site. Few flights go into the town and the ones that do are at an exorbitant cost. There is a reason for this.

I could give you the name of the company - but then I'd have to kill you. Or you could try to figure it out - but then they'd have to kill you. Ok - maybe not that severe!

The location, secrecy and reason for the no visitation boils down to one thing - security issues. If you were creative and found their website, I can guarantee you'll be tracked back via your IP address almost immediately.

There is something a little disconcerting about a place where before you come, you are told that no cellphones, BlackBerrys, laptops, cameras or jump drives are allowed on the premises.

It only seems more (sur)real when you come over the hill to see the complex. Between the gate and the building lies 12-15 rows of coiled razor wire. That is if you can get over the gate which has three rows on top of the fence. Oh - in between those razor wire rows - men with machine guns.

Mind you - that fence has multiple posted signs that say:

Deadly Force

Of course to see said fence and those signs, you'd have to pass a security tower and about 200 cameras. Trust me, if you happen to readjust yourself - someone has seen it.

Once at the gate, I got put through the puff-scanner to detect explosives, then the x-ray machine for metal. Mind you the only things metal I had were anything on my pen, my belt buckle and glasses. Afterward, telling Denton this, he asked "did you tell them about the metal in your leg?". Holy Crap!!!! It never occurred to me. Ruckiry (not Jon's boss), it didn't set anything off.

After making my way into the grounds, I got a tutorial on what I was to (and not to) do and where I was to go if alarms sounded. Doesn't all of this sound reassuring.

That being said - I really enjoy the client and understand why things are the way they are there. Well - kind of. I mean, I know enough to not ask exactly what they do - not that anyone is actually going to tell me.

Just another day in the life of Blobby.

Song by: Rockwell (ok, I don't listen to him or own it, I just couldn't think of another title)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Road

I just got back from the South.

I never think of southern Virginia as the deep south - but I believe that I might be wrong. The accents are not massively strong, but they are there.

The other things that exists are the right-winged politics, a love of GWB and/or his ways, confederate flags and everything cooked in lard.

My hotel room literally looked out over Liberty University - home of Dr. Jerry Fallwell. It is also his burial site. Had I been with folks who could have and would have backed me up, I'd be posting some footage of me dancing on his grave - literally. But, it's scary scary town for a growed-up homo like me. ...and Jer is buried right outside his office, so the chances of being tarred and feathered for attempting that .avi were probably like 4 in 10.

For as big as the city is (and it is much bigger than I ever anticipated), there are some stunted thought processes down there. And where had I thought I could get away with this and that to educate folks on their perceptions - I knew enough to lay low and not ripple the waters.

Shame on me.

Case in point - while at a very nice dinner, one of the staff of my new clinics said "I bet your wife thinks you're just eating a hamburger for dinner tonite". Now I have the ring, but I don't have the wife. But with a table of 30 who were all born and bred in VA, and this being my first encounter with them, I wasn't really willing to discuss my living arrangement or sexual preference orientation. I didn't really answer her, so I didn't lie - but I was hardly forthcoming or truthful.

But then in a town like this, it is like 1 against 1000, so you choose your battles - whether you like them or not. And it's business. Sometimes you zip the lip for the bottom line.

Shame on me, indeed.

That being said - I absolutely 100% regret not stopping when I saw the sign that said: Foamhenge. But by this point, I just wanted to get home (and btw...Saturns have the most uncomfortable seats ever!). This is a clinic site I might get to 2-3 times per year, unlike my others were are 2 times per month. When am I really going to have a chance to do that again?

Live for today people. Live for today!

Song by: Jackson Browne

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Politics of Dancing

I don’t understand how people vote.

I mean – I do, but I don’t. Or don’t want to.

If I have to hear the words “Oprah and Obama” one more time I am going to fucking puke. …though there is a certain weirdness that the media always puts her name first. Is she running? You’d wonder.

When I actually can stomach having the tv or radio on during one of these stories, it never ceases to amaze me how short-sighted people are when it comes to picking a leader. I should not be surprised, but invariably, I always am.

Let me start off by saying that I think it is great that the barriers are coming down where people of color, women, Mormons and Jews can, and do, run for the office of the President. However, I do not think people should vote for them because they are people of color, women, Mormons or Jews. Should it be a factor? Perhaps. But most likely not.

The Romney / religion thing strikes me as odd. Not that he is Mormon, but that it is an issue. People see the religion as a cult….but they don’t see the same in Southern Baptists with some of their holy roller ways?

I do like how the media attempts to compare Mitt to JFK and how the latter was the first (only) catholic president….as if that mattered at all. Yes, he was catholic – one who lied, adultered and probably had people killed during his lifetime and presidency. I am not sure he’s the religious standard we want to benchmark anyone against.

But what I hear in the primary season stories are that the above mentioned reasons indeed why they are picking candidates. Or worse: because Oprah told me to.

On NBC the other night, a woman in South Carolina said she was on the fence about voting for Obama or Clinton….but after Oprah’s visit (which she was attending), she has decided to go for Obama. Maybe there are legitimate reasons for this – but they were never asked by the reporter. Or worse – if they were, they ended up on the editing room floor.

Flipping past Larry King on another evening, about 141 of the 1,258 Osmonds were on the show. ALL of them were voting for Romney.


I’m not saying he is superbly unqualified, but never once were they asked about his stance on anything or their rationale for choosing him as their candidate. One infers that they are doing it because they are (including said candidate) all Mormon. It might not be the reason, but I’d wager that is THE reason.

Polls say that a celebrity endorsement does not hold any weight in the election – but the Oprah train has left the station and whether those endorsements did or didn’t sway anything, the media is allowing Oprah to have this affect. She tells people what to and what not to read – and they DO it (or don’t).

And it should be noted that she has brought us the train wreck that is Dr. Phil.

I’m not saying that Barak is Dr. Phil, but I am saying that we are in the position we are in now (GWB) because most voters seem to be mindless sheep. So easily led.

Me? I haven’t picked a candidate. Why should I? By the time the Ohio primary comes around, the field will have dwindled to 2-3 folks. For the life of me, I do not understand why New Hampshire and Iowa hold so much weight for such small voter populations.

People will say they are the barometer for the rest of the country, but isn’t that only because we allow that to be?

Song by: the Re-Flex

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Family Affair

If you read this blog with any regularity, you'll know I'm a big fan of music and of my nieces and nephews. Every now and again I get to combine the two - whether it is by taking them to a concert or going to one of their recitals.

I know I've blogged here (maybe a year ago?) about the pain that it is to go to these recitals. Painful to my ears, to my brain and even to my butt - as there is always uncomfortable chairs at these things. But the biggest pain has always been the guy who runs the event. can look back to last November or December to read about that. I'm here to talk about my oldest niece.

Anyhoo....this may be a proud uncle talking, but last Saturday my oldest niece performed two songs: one an original composition (she's 16!!) and the other from some unsigned artist she came upon.

Her confidence and talent really showed as she was the only person to perform at this recital solo. Though she works hard at this - she clearly has a natural talent. As I stood there watching (and taping) her, there was a sense of pride coming from me, as well as a protective vibe.

Though her parents were sitting nearby, they missed two boys from an earlier performance come in and I overheard them say "she's on next!" I later confirmed that Katie didn't know either of the boys. OMG - she has admirers. My back went up. Hence my protective vibe.

The video below is one I took with my digital camera, and the compressed the file a number of times just to get it to YouTube standards. It's a bit grainy, but you get the idea.

After her performance a man came up and asked if she was my daughter. I told him she was my niece and he went on and one about how great she was. Hence my pride. He went on to say, 'she should be on American Idol' which I quickly said, 'oh no, she's too good for that'. We both laughed.

Watch the video and enjoy (hopefully). I will attempt to post the second song (her original) later. Unfortunately I do not know the name of the song she is doing. ...and she's been unresponsive to her proud uncle's emails asking her.

Song by: Sly & the Family Stone

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Monday Monday

I haven't really posted any Monday Moanings lately, mostly because they just haven't been very good.

For those who do not know, the Moanings are a forum within the Cleveland Plain Dealer that appear every.............wait for it...............Monday! It just turns out people who submit them are a bunch of Grandpa Simpsons who will grumble about anything.

It used to be that sometimes the entire lot is good, but now I am lucky if there is one decent one in the bunch. So, I will cherry-pick some from the last few weeks and/or no particular order.

“My Huntington Bank ATM asks which do I prefer, English or Spanish? Perhaps Huntington would like any fees paid in pesos.” — Streetsboro

“Channel 19 should be called the ‘cleavage station.’ Why those women broadcasters don’t do more coverage of their bodies rather so much as the news is beyond me.” — Middleburg Heights

“The only thing worse than country music is Christmas country music.” — Parma

“A plea to pharmaceutical companies: What’s so wonderful about all those round pills which frequently fall on the floor and roll away so they are hard to find? How about a shape that doesn’t roll, like oval or square?” — Mayfield Heights

"Whenever my wife and I go to the store or res taurant, we al ways are greeted by 'Hi, guys.' When did it be come OK to call a woman 'guy'?" - North Olmsted

“Why doesn’t someone on the food channel tell Rachael Ray to tie her hair back? She has brushed her hair back with her hand and put it right back in the food. Disgusting.” — No city

“What’s happening that we don’t see them singing the national anthem at baseball or football games anymore on TV? Also, when are the men going to stop shaving their heads? Bald is not beautiful. It is ugly.” — West Salem

Ok - the last one might be my least of this bunch, even if it hits a bit close to home.......and not because of my butchering of the National Anthem.

Song by: Mamas & the Papas

Monday, December 10, 2007

New Direction Song

So we went to see The Golden Compass on Saturday.

I had little knowledge of, and marginal interest in, the movie. The latter mostly came from visual imagery I had seen in previews. But as I've said before, if the catholic church wants to boycott it, my curiosity goes up ten-fold.

Since I had not read the trilogy (of which this is the first), I didn't know exactly what to expect.

Visually, the movie was fine. Acting was s0-so, even if Gandalf was a big bear. The story itself was not horribly clear and had more than a few holes that were left wide-open. Maybe that is because after I saw it, I read that the studio cut out much anti-church and pro-atheism aspects to it. I'm guessing it left it with a weakened storyline.

I consider myself somewhat intelligent, and I think Denton is as well. We had a good, yet unresolved discussion on which population in the movie was depicted as the religious faction and which the scientific. Again, I think the lack of clarity had to do with what may have been cut out. Dust. Souls Yawn.

Oh - and the ending credits? Well, I'm a huge Kate Bush fan, but her song was no Into the West. I'm thinking if she spent 10 minutes writing the lyrics, it was about seven minutes too long.

Go if you must - but it is something meant more for cable viewing.

Song by: Echo & the Bunnymen

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Dear G-d

This was the weekend for religious events that never were.....nor events that never came to be.

First would be another work holiday party I was supposed to attend. Again, since it was a group event that I took part in none of the planning led to the doorstep of Puko du Peppo (see an earlier post this week for a related story).

Still reeling from said story, though I felt obligated to go - one for my staff and two for feeling guilty of leaving my regional medical director with the staff - I was talked out of going due to my continued recovery from last week's illness.

While being somewhat relieved, I had already been planning what to do in an afternoon in Cincinnasti. One was to visit my friend Kris and her husband. While they are great people, I wouldn't use them as blog fodder (probably). However, not too too far from them would be the Creation Museum. I figured $20, a few hours and my digital camera would give my readership a week's worth of entries. Alas, it was not meant to be.

Instead, I stayed home and took it relatively easy. We did however go and see The Golden Compass. I'll probably blog about that separately. But suffice to say - if the catholic church tells folks not to go - you may as well just FedEx me a frickin' ticket!

After the movie though, piping over some sound system, I heard some g-d awful song about Christmas in America. I wish I could remember the lyrics. Googling does no help in copying/pasting them. The 'artist' (which I believe was Kenny Rogers) has not allowed them to be published. Let's just put it this way - it made Lee Greenwood sound like Marilyn Manson.

The night ended with going to a guitar recital for my niece (again, it will be a separate posting). One of the participants sang one of their own compositions, Happy Birthday Jesus.

Spare me.

Song by: XTC

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Rock n Roll High School

cash advance

Seriously! I don't know if this says more about my writing ability or your reading comprehension. Unfortunately, I think it is the former.

Granted, I end up posting pictures and snippets of other web-related things on there and do normally expound heavily using things like verbs, adjectives or subjects and nouns, but Elementary School?

Je don't think so.

I did a quick entry of a number of other blogs and some fair better than Blobby does - but surprisingly not much consistency:

Rebecca - well, she must sit next to me in class.
The Daily Kos - Junior High level
Glenn - same as Kos. But in fairness, he teaches junior high (I think)
RJ - is the cool high school kid
Kris - Post Grad level?? SOOO unfair!!!! Self-admittedly she doesn't even try anymore!
Moby - well, everytime I put in his URL, it takes down the system.
Steve - he's in the same class as Rebecca and myself.

I'm not sure the criteria of how they rate the reading level of the sites in question. It brings back a rating almost immediately. I don't see how it has the opportunity to scan a few dozen or hundreds of posts for grammar or sentence structure.

WHATEVER! ....I might be a bit bitter.

Song by: the Ramones

Friday, December 07, 2007

Stop, In the Name of Love

We've been in this house for how long now? Yet we are still getting the old tenant's right-winged mail. I'm sure it's the same stuff my little sister gets - the difference is, we're inheriting it....she subscribes.

I've posted some of his weird ass stuff before - and yes, usually during election season. Unfortunately the 2008 election cycle started about 18 months ago.

This new selection is from John LeBoutillier, some former U.S. Congressman. His claim to fame is he won a seat.........27 years ago! No doubt for one term only. I'm not even bothering to Gooogle his sorry ass.

Anyhoo....with him and no doubt some of his cronies, he has a campaign (and website) called STOPHillary.

Much of what's in the newsletter is on the site: Militant feminism. Wellesley lesbianism. Goldwater Republicanism. Too liberal. Hippie.

I'm not supporting Hillary. At least not yet. I'm not supporting anyone as of yet. It's too early and no one is jumping out ahead of the pack. At least not for me. I'm still hope Bloomberg will enter the race as an Independent.

The letter goes on to say "we are going to defeat Hillary Clinton." I'm not sure who 'we' are - and who 'they' are going to use to defeat Hillary.

Sounds like someone's got a bad case of the Cooties.

Song by: The Supremes

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Site of the Month (I)

Last month I posted a few non-Sites of the Month with the full intent of putting up an actual one. But somehow, like sands through the hourglass, so went the days of the month. ...and I never got around to it. I think this month you might be rewarded with two (count 'em) SotM entries.

Revel in all that is me!!!!

I actually thought I posted this last year, but I went back and looked and it turns out I did not.

Rebecca (seriously people, there is only like more 5 mos until her book is released - go pre-order the sucker! It's got me in it!) created an Elf of me, but at some point that one expired. So here's a new one. Seriously, click on the link.

Except for the time when he/I crosses my arms at the shoulders ala Marilyn Monroe/Madonna in Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend/Material Girl, it pretty much is exactly the way that I dance.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Eternal Flame

On this last trip to DC, I found myself with almost an entire free day. On almost every trip, someone will ask me 'what did you do fun and interesting this time?'. My answer is always the same: 'worked and hotel'. There just isn't a lot of time built-in to see the sites.

It is not like I haven't been to DC multiple times. And it is not like there are tons of attractions to take in after the work-day is complete. But until I took this job, almost, if not every trip, I would make the trek out to Arlington National Cemetery.

Morbid? I do not actually think so. I find it to possibly be the most serene place in the capital. And even though I have this love/hate thing with tradition and ceremony, it definitely appeals to my OCD. The changing of the guard with their precision and the 21 steps and 21 second pauses still captivate me. I cannot say there is ever anything really new to see there, but the place always has a calming effect for me. If you're ever there and happen upon an honor guard funeral, it still is quite something to see. The horses, the caisson, the 21 gun salute, Taps and the folding of the flag - again, all steeped in tradition.

For as many times as I've been, I have never been the only visitor at Kennedy's grave site. It was only odd in that there is always someone there. Not this time. It was between the hour so it's not like everyone was at the Tomb of the Unknown....or at that hideous memorial to the Challenger (seriously, what were they thinking?).

But for all the hoopla the JFK site gets, it is almost easy to overlook, just to stage right, his brother Robert's burial site. You could say it was slightly more understated.

The uniformity of the grounds is amazing. Not just the amount of space, but how they utilize it, its history (if the PBS special on Arlington ever comes on - you should really watch it) and the view is something to be seen and admired.

Anyhoo....if or when you ever get to DC, I recommend the visit. Take the TourMobile if you must, but I think walking the grounds is a better and more highly therapeutic way to see the grounds.

Song by: the Bangles

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Through the Barricades

Most post-9/11 security measures that you see are made from concrete. The protective barricades at Reagan Washington National Airport are not completely out of place - nor do I believe they were not intentional.

No, the check-in level of the airport are lined with dozens of 'deterents' ....and in truly troubling times, probably are more for decoration than actual enforcement.

Not unlike old Ronnie himself.

Yes, these ones are rigid, cold as steel penises that would gladly tell an air-traffic controller to bend over.

Not unlike old Ronnie himself.

Song by: Spandau Ballet

Monday, December 03, 2007

Scenes From an "Italian" Restaurant

Italian is in quotes as I don't believe Puko du Peppo (as I am now calling it) would truly be considered anything more than a pig trough with marinara. If you haven't been there, I would not suggest it - for the food or the ambiance.

Seasons back, when Moe Sizlak wanted to change his bar to a restaurant (and competed with the Texas Cheesecake Depository!) his commercial boasted that his eatery had 'a bunch of crazy crap on the wall' - well...think that....times 113,000.

Saturday evening, I entertained 66 other folks for a holiday party (the place was not my choice - I must go on record!). And though I cannot blame the food, as no one else got ill, I unfortunately did.

I am finding getting ill out of town is much worse than while you're in the comforts of home. While I can try to recuperate in a nicely appointed hotel room, unfortunately, I had to fly home after hours of no sleep and well........things you don't really want to hear about in any detail.

Suffice to say the Metro, my preferred route of transport, was not an option to get to the airport. As it was, I had the thrill of taking a cab and paying extra as I required extra stops just to make it to the airport. Pretty, huh?

I think worst was the actual plane ride. Twice during the flight I was overcome so much in heat, I thought I would surely pass out. As the flight was turbulent due to weather and against the glares of the bitchy flight attendant to remain seated, I had to get to the bathroom just to wet paper towels to not drop over.

During said flight, the illness and the overheating, I was thinking - it is not death that frightens me, but the here and now.

So here I home...on a school day....wrapped in a fleece blanket with a cat sleeping on the top of my chair behind me. Finally, I got some food into me 33 hours after this ordeal started.

It can only go up from here....right?

Song by: Billy Joel (and I am very very sorry for that)

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Here Is The House

Yesterday, I was on my way to somewhere else in DC when I passed the north side of White House.....when I saw this! Honestly, I have to say I was shocked, but not in a good way.

I usually never venture near that I liken it to the house on your street you avoided at Halloween because of the creepy residents. Maybe the next neighbors will not be the kind who would hide straight pins in the chocolate bars they handed out.

So anyhooo.... I had to stop, doubleback and take the above image. I just had an overwhelming feeling that it was a huge slap in the face to many people in the U.S. who suffer from HIV/AIDS. Trust me, if Shrub doesn't think gays are equal in marriage or benefits (except taxes) or military assignments, then do you really think he gives one turd about them when they are afflicted with any kind of disease?

Oh wait - sure he does. He's a compassionate conservative!! Zoiks!

song by: Depeche Mode

Saturday, December 01, 2007


I've never been a big proponent of 'days'.

I've never thought 'a day' could or would change the world. I don't know that any disease or issue truly benefits from one single day per annum. I could be wrong. I am sure there are stats somewhere to tell me this.

The only one comparable to World AIDS Day (which is today), would be Breast Cancer - and they have a month.

The one flaw in 'a day' approach is that for 364 sun-ups to sun-downs, most people do not think of it again. Most don't on the designated day. The ones who truly do are the ones affected by it - and think of it every single day....because they have to. Be it they are living with, suffering from or lost someone to, the disease.

Don't make everyday a World AIDS Day necessarily - but be more aware and more compassionate. Be more vocal when you have the chance.

As Bono says (I typed Bobo): "we have to carry each other......carry each other" . Just not for one day. But it's a start.

Song by: U2

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Give A Little

Tis the season - no?

For the last few months, or even a year, we have been hearing about One Laptop Per Child. Or at least I have. Have you?

The idea is to provide each and every child who needs a laptop - regardless of the socio-economic status, but clearly focusing on the underprivileged.

The idea is the brainchild of an MIT professor. Knowing that many of the places these folks live do not have internets access or even electricity, the laptop is built with a generator that kids can wind up to well.....generate power. It also has an built-in antenna for folks to get on-line. The casing isn't indestructible, but they make it as much so as possible.

The other idea was for each laptop to cost no more than $100. They are not quite there yet - but it still is at the somewhat reasonable price of $400. BUT....get this......purchase one for donation, and they send one to you also. So, that makes them like $200 a piece. Wicked!! .....but in a good way.

Denton ordered/donated one. Mostly because he wants to play with it. We need another computer/laptop around here like a hole in the head. I am hoping we only play with it for a bit, but then send it on its way to a family in need. We're not that family.

But I think it's a great idea. Give the gift of education - if you can.

Song by: Nicolette Larson

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


It may be may be crude....but has Eunice Shriver always been the Crypt Keeper's mother?

I guess it kind of makes sense - her daughter is Skeletor.

Let this be a lesson to all of you: THIS is what generations of inbreeding will get you.

Song by: Classics IV

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Perfectly Good Guitar

In a Cleveland Plain Dealer article yesterday about some guy who does a lot of recycling, especially after Browns games.

Yeah - I know, not very exciting, is it? But there was one line in the article that made it stand out. Truth be told, I didn't get that far into the article before losing interest. I have a very short attention span.

However, Denton did and read the following lines to me:

In his off-time, Pickrel can sometimes be seen being pulled down the street on his skates by his dogs. On one leg. While playing his guitar.

It's funny because we saw it. Once.

Denton was wondering what restaurant we might have been at when we saw this event. I had to remind him we weren't out - but at home eating breakfast.....with friends.

It is quite possible probable it was after a night of drinking and we were sitting at the dining room table. Those of us facing the window kind of stopped what we were doing, not sure we had seen what we had just seen. Probably weren't sure if we were still drunk.....though I can only speak for myself, naturally.

It's nice to know that it wasn't an illusion, hallucination or just a drunken figment of our collective imagination.

Song by: John Hiatt

Sunday, November 25, 2007


I know I have a stunted adolescence. There is no shock or surprise with this fact. But I just assumed that everyone else (over the age of say...14) has seen this. Imagine my surprise when the day before T-giving, I got to show one of my brother in laws (brothers in law?) this trick.

I spent a good 3-4 minutes with a sharp knife making just the right cuts and doing the folds in all the appropriate areas to get a most inappropriate joke.

Naturally you have to preface the set-up with - 'Why does the Land O Lakes lady hold her butter there?'

Both he and my sister were in hysterics.

This doesn't actually show it, but what you do after cutting three sides of the held butter is to then fold the cardboard so her knees line up right under that, so she when you pull it down (or up), she exposes her dirty pillows. I like how the shadows of her knees make for a convincing areola.

In my version, the lady doesn't flip up the held butter but pulls it down. I swear it makes all the difference.

Song by: Hot Butter

Saturday, November 24, 2007

What The Fudge ??

Apparently 'WTF' no longer means what I thought it meant. And I guess it's no longer just an abbreviation for a profanity work-around for television censors and a necessary three letter standard for instant messaging or emailing.

Well, actually it is still used for all those things....and now one more. It is the magazine for Finland. I wonder if the folks from Helsinki know it is just a shortcut to the f-bomb?

So on this post, I break my title as being the same as a song title. I could not think of anything good with the word 'Welcome' ( the jungle? the pleasuredome?), let alone with 'fuck' or 'Finland'.

It's just so hard to be me!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Eat For Two

Well today is the day - for people who like this kind of stuff. I'm guessing I enjoyed last night more than I will today.

Yesterday, we had my oldest sister and her family over for dinner. Lasagna to be specific....made all by my lonesome. It was ok, but I've done better. Downing a bottle of vino on my own didn't hurt.

But the company was good and the kids were well behaved - though they just loved being upstairs playing video games and then downstairs with Sophie. The cat is very good with them.

Isn't the above image just a tad bit disgusting? I snapped it in the store. A half-cake with a turkey made out of frosting - though to be honest, it looks like pâté. Not horribly appetizing when it comes to cakes.

As for being thankful - I'm not an ingrate: I have a job (and didn't last year at this time), a great partner, two feline friends, many non-feline friends and my health ( least more or less). Life is pretty good.

Enjoy the day folks. Happy T-giving.

Song by: 10,000 Maniacs

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Basted in Blood

Oh, sure - you'd think the last two days of non-Site of the Month posts would be leading up to an actual Site of the Month. Silly silly people - you!

I do believe I mention this year after year, but I find T-giving to be a bland and boring meal. It's just not for me. ....and let's not even get into the family aspect of it.

I wanted to post a video of a song done on SNL way back, but true to form, much of NBC copywrited material is not out there. The song was done on Weekend Update and sung by Sarah McLachlan & Ana Gasteyer (who went under the guise of Wendy Calhoun). It was a hilarious send-up of a vegan T-giving protest song.

I do not have the video, but I do have the lyrics:


We gather together
For yams, beans, and cranberry sauce
But have you given much thought lately
To the turkey holocaust?

200 million noble birds
Slaughtered every fall
Ain't no difference between Hitler, Stalin
And the folks at Butterball

So set your tables, America
From Birmingham to Branson
But when you carve that turkey
You're a finger lickin' Charlie Manson

Enjoy your pumpkin pie
Your buttery Idaho spuds
Grandma's chestnut stuffing
And a turkey basted in blood

Basted in blood Basted in blood Basted in blood
Enjoy your turkey, enjoy...Basted in blood Basted in blood Basted in blood
Basted in blood Basted in blood Basted in blood

Song by: Sarah McLachlan & Wendy Calhoun

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Shakespeare's Sister

William Shakespeare

All the world's a Blobby
And all the men and women merely players.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes: <

Again, this is a URL I toyed as having as my Site of the Month, but decided if I did, then I couldn't really use the Smiths (g-d, isn't the web address for them great?!!) song for the post title (as those are always headed by: Site of the Month. DUH). What drives me to do such things is a complete mystery.

The reality is, it is not that good of a site. I never went past the first try for this quote and let's face it - it fits. All the world is a Blobby....or at least about Blobby.......or at the very least should be!

Unlike Will, I don't think there is any confusion as to if I write my own work! Sad for him. Sad for me. Sad for you.

song by: The Smiths

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ring of Fire

Alas, this becomes a failed Site of the Month possibility.

If they had more choices in their archives, I am almost sure it would have been a finalist candidate. As it is, the movies they have selected and produced alternate endings for, I either have not seen or just not cared enough about.

If you read this blog in any regularity, you'll already guess that the two that stand out for me are Star Wars IV: A New Hope and the below clip of The Lord of the Rings. ....though the Borat thing is probably as accurate as you can get. There's 90-120 minutes I'll never get back!

If nothing else, I knew Becky and Jon would enjoy the LOTR one....which I've taken the opportunity to post below. The How It Should Have Ended site made me download some new software to play the movies from their URL. I didn't think you all should have to do that.

Personally, I like Boromir mooning Sauron. ...and the taunt of 'your mother has cataracts'.

So, it's not technically Site of the Month material - but it has its moments.

Song by: Johnny Cash

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Everything Is Coming Up Roses

It's not the national championship, but there's no real shame in going to the Rose Bowl.

Yesterday the Buckeyes all but sewed up going to Pasadena on the first day of 2008. I know - you're thinking this is a sports thing and why am I even chatting about it. I can hear you out there ya know!

It wasn't as much about the game or the outcome as it was spending the afternoon with two friends watching the game.

Tom G - whom has been mentioned many a-time here - was coming to Cleveburgh to watch the game with his 'special friend' (not me). I got an invite to join. It turns out it was just at a gay bar we were going to. Oh well. How bad could it be at 12 noon on a Saturday?

Tom doesn't need to prompt me to not act my age, but it's nice to have the encouragement.

He is the master of the prop - be it for parties, story telling, sporting events or the possibility of stalking a porn star (that's another post). Jack (his 'special friend') wanted us to wear tiaras, but instead we traded the above homemade headband. You might have to click the enlarge the image (camera phone, no flash and bad lighting) to see what it is. Go ahead - sound it out. It's like live pictionary.

Each time we were not in possession of the ball, one of us was required to wear it. We did it willingly and proudly. Oddly enough - we did not get one look from the other patrons. With the pom-poms (g-d, they smelled like my high school gym locker, but worse!) and noisemaker, we tried to draw attention - but to little success.

The Woody cap is mine. It's my second. Morty got me my first when I was in the hospital with my appendix. I wore that thing all the time, it fit like a second skin. I lost it a dozen or so years ago when Tom and I went to the OSU - Michigan State game in East Lansing (home to one of my most favourite Tom G stories!). I left it at the hotel in a post-drunken stupor. The hotel claims to have never have found it - but you know they just tossed it when they saw the Block O. Fuckers!

Putting on the headband, I told the crew I felt like Patty Duke. Jack asked if I meant 'Cathy', but was Patty and I told him it was because 'a hot dog makes me lose control'. I love when I never ever have to explain my jokes to people.

After the game, we hung out and I dropped money in the jukebox. I love taking over the music at a place where Whitney Houston is the standard. Ick. They had an ok selection, but I made it better just by my choices: Garbage, the Smiths, Eurythmics, Weezer & a few others.

While making the selections, I had to endure Russ. No, I don't know him. Just a bar patron who decided to come up and ask me what my favourite songs and bands were. ...and then how he should leave because he had just broken up with someone who was expected at the bar and how he shouldn't be there....or should he just not run away. Oy. I felt like I was pseudo-being hit on and yet asked to be Ann Landers. I wanted neither. Double Oy.

But on this cold, rainy day - I took in warmth by just being with friends.

Song by: Black

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Devil Does You Dog Bite?

No real reference to dogs in this post - other than the fact that I've been working like one.

I've wanted to blog and not only have I not found time to, I haven't even been writing in my head before I commit it to paper screen. That is usually my M.O.

The job is getting me up to that 50% travel time they mentioned when I started. But until the last month or so, I've really been at maybe 30%. After T-giving, I'll be gone at least 50% until the December holidays. I think the opportunity for a vacation has passed us by - again.

Ruckiry (not Jon's boss), my vacation time rolls over for a year - though I don't know if it is a rolling year or a calendar year. I guess I should find out. My personal days I lose at the end of the calendar year, so I'm already planning on taking those. One of them is in two weeks!!! The other will be right before the holidays to extend my already long weekend....and to prep for the holiday party/dinner we have been hosting for the last few years.

I really don't know what to do about the party or dinner. We now have the flatware to host more folks - but still are lacking a good table to get too many folks around. So, that leaves us open (again) to the possibility of just doing casual stuff where folks load their plates and mingle.

Getting drunk is really a prerequisite. I almost insist on it. Most people who attend don't really have to be talked into it.....though at least half of them will be our house guests, so no driving for them.

There is absolutely no religious significance to the holidays for me, I'm in it for the cookies and the booze.

song by: Tom Tom Club

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I Drove All Night

I left for a client site this morning before 5:00 a.m. A pain? Yes, but certainly not undoable. I should mention that it was a driving visit. The sun does not rise until 7:00 a.m., so it was pretty much two hours of total darkness.

I worked until the sun went down and made yet another trek (not all the way home) in the dark back to my hotel - 90 minutes away or so.

What dawned upon me (pun fully intended) was that driving in the pitch black in the morning seems so much different than doing the same at night.

Perhaps it is the promise of daylight that makes that drive a little more bareable. Or maybe it's the get up and go without thinking that has its advantages. The lack of any traffic is a certain plus.

But after a 14 hour day, the prospect of getting back in the car isn't all the appealing. Maybe that is why the night drive is less palatable. The possiblity of light seems so less certain, even though it will invariably arrive in 10 hours or so.

One minus about it all is the things you cannot see. You'd think I'm meaning cops who lie in wait for speeders, but you'd be wrong. I count myself lucky that though I've been stopped a few times, I have never been ticketed.

No....the things you can't see are the roadkill. Today there was a deer that had to be freshly hit. ...and it had to be hit by something big, like an 18-wheeler. A huge bloody mess - and one I missed by inches while attempting to change lanes. Had I hit it, I would have absolutely ruined my car.....and got my dress shoes all digustingly full of blood and fur as I would have had to exit onto the carcass.

No one (and I do mean no one!) laughed later when I called it the Nicole Brown Simpson of roadkill. ...but that was the first thing that came to my mind.

Yes, I know I'm twisted.

Song by: Cyndi Lauper

Monday, November 12, 2007

Record of the Month

I figured I'd do a monthly 'what I'm listening to' kind of thing. This could be viewed as a lame placeholder kind of post. And probably it is. But it's my blog! So there!

These may or may not be newly released disks. They might not even be a good disk - just what is been in heavy rotation in my car (as usually the iPod is playing anywhere else).

At face value, Raising Sand could be one of the more unusual pairings in recent musical history. Not as odd as say, Tom Waits & Crystal Gayle (seriously - you must pick up One from the Heart soundtrack!). This is more along the lines of Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris.

Like the latter grouping, Plant & Krauss don't really perform that many duets. Sometimes I swear they don't even appear on each others songs. To be fair - there is nothing on the external (or internal for that matter) packaging that says they do - it is just implied.

When they do perform duets (or at least harmonize more), it usually works. I really enjoy "Rich Woman", "Please Read the Letter" and "Gone Gone Gone". It would have been nice to see more of it.

There are duet missteps: "Killing the Blues" for instance. It seems Alison & Robert have drained the entire life out of this cover. If you want to hear a good take on it - check out Shawn Colvin's version from her Cover Girl disk from 15 years back or so.

I cannot say I have ever been a big fan of Robert Plant. I was the odd man out in high school - preferring Nick Lowe or the Clash to Led Zeppelin. My coolest high school friend, Colin Greenan, (here's hoping he Gooogles himself and finds this) used to play bass guitar and sing Zeppelin covers in a band, and because of him, I only had a fondness for "Communication Breakdown". But I digress.....

Plant doesn't seem to stretch that much on this outing - but what do I know when it comes to this. He's had a few different lives since Zeppelin, so did not start out as reigned in.

Krauss however finally gets to break free from the Union Station mold which has grown a little stagnant as of late. Technically the band is great, but are caught in a formulatic rut. "Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us" has influences of Greek music and she take the masculine lead on Mike Campbell's (from Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers) "Let Your Loss Be Your Lesson".

But the most mesmerizing and possibly annoying thing about the record are actually one in the same - Krauss' take on Waits' "Trampled Rose". I cannot quite explain it, but the continuous climb to and fall from the high note is a major focal point of interest to me.

For good or bad, she's slightly out of her element and I find it welcoming. She stretches her boundaries and that can only help her work with Union Station down the line.

Overall, I say it is an ok disk, but nothing more than that. I will not go as far as to say it is a wasted opportunity but perhaps a missed one - as there much more they could have done with it. When their voices do blend, it proves to be an interesting dynamic.

Sunday, November 11, 2007


Yesterday was my semi-annual dentist visit.

Yes, you all know what a baby I can be when it comes to anything teeth related. I mean, I've been much better over the last decade or so, but for some reason I was dreading this appointment.

This would have been my first one since my periodontal surgery. And because of said procedure, I have been a wuss about flossing the back teeth. Afraid I would upset the new tissue, I have not been that aggressive in my getting in there and stimulate my gums (yes, flossing isn't really for getting food out between your teeth - though I use it for that act).

I prepped for my visit by proxi-brushing, tongue scraping and a quick tooth brushing. I also performed a bilateral boogerectomy. Let's face it - you're tilted back in that chair, those people don't just have the ability to look in your mouth, but up your nose too. They do not want to see any bats in the cave.

Whatever flossing I was doing was a-ok with the doc. She thought my gums looked better than ever (phew). ..and she liked how the graft was coming along.

It was also picture day. Well, x-ray day. I got cleared on that too - no cavaties. So it was a good check-up. The above image is not actually of my teeth. All that money my parents put into orthodontia paid off, to a degree.

I always make my next appointment before I leave - and I was floored when in six months, it will be May!!! Winters here always seem to last so long, that it is hard to believe in half a year it will be warm again.

Naturally, before I walked out the door, I got my 'free' toothbrush.

Song by: Bush

Thursday, November 08, 2007


Yet another installment in the drudgery that is everyday shopping. The camera-phone makes it a bit more fun - though I get looks whenever I take pics of products. Like I care what people think!

I secede this month's shopping event to Morty & George. I cannot thank them enough for allowing me to co-opt their vacation photos (or, photo - singular - as the case may be) for my own purpose.

As they trek (and marathon) across Australia and New Zealand., they have been finding things just a bit different than in the States - driving on the other side of the road non-withstanding.

I don't know what they call 7-11 Down Under, but the road snacks they sell, according to Mort, are fizzies, lollies and chippies.

But noooooooo - they just can't have sour cream & onion chippies. They have to sell these disgusting morsels tasty edible treats!!!!!

As the tagline on the bag says: It's a Matter of Taste.

Lord, it must be.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

It's a Laugh

You've seen the Naked Gun movies - right? You know - the one when "Enrico Pallazzo" sings the national anthem? Also in that movie, Frank Drebin goes to the bathroom where everyone hears him.

Comedy? Sure, I guess. Reality? Apparently.

I was presenting the last few days at a conference and eventually had to use the facilities and saw the above (and clearly took the pics too).

Ruckiry (not Jon's boss), as I've said before, I've been "blessed with a voice that carries", so I did not need a microphone - let alone a lavaliered one. No humming and urinating sounds eminated from the lav. in lavatory. At least by me.

The afterwork event for this conference was dinner and a comedy club - which is almost always sure death.

Do I think I'm funny? Yeah. Yeah I do. Do I think I'm stand-up funny? No.

So it's even more painful when you see three (count 'em, three) guys who get up in succession that I think I can do better than. ....and off the top of my head. Horrible anecdotes they've been practicing and performing for years - you just know it - and still they can't make it work.

I should say, this was my perception. I saw people from my group actually wipe tears away from their eyes. They probably think Larry the Cable guy is funniest guy on earth. Or worse, Jay Leno. Afterwards, one of my docs says to me she says, "wow, you didn't even give any of them a nervous or sympathy laugh".

...and I didn't.

It baffles me: How didn't these guys know they weren't funny? And how is it the bathroom sign guys probably don't think they themselves are hilarious?

song by: Hall & Oates

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


It doesn't paint a thousand words, so that's why you can't paint me. ....or me you.

The Wonder Bread sign still lives!!! ....and we used to live under it - for about three years. The product it hawks hardly epitomizes something that should be in the heart of a place called Italian Village.

When looking at the apartment, the owner noticed me noticing the word 'FAG' spray painted on the side of the house. He claimed it was his ex getting back at him. I should have known better. Balls made of ice hit the door in the winter evenings when we were eating dinner or watching televison. And the same word that adorned the side wall eventually made its way to the bumper of my car. Though to be fair, it looked more like 'FAC'. I'm assuming the hooligans who lived down the perpendicular alley did not got As in penmanship. Another failure of the public education system.

The apartment was ok - but I'm drawn to the area most times I pass through town, not that I always act on it. Add-ons and crappily built fences make the place look like than desirable.
No one ever seems to put away their trashcans after pick-up. No pride.

The place it self had some good memories: we got Tovah when we lived there. And Tom G and I watched the 1995 World Series together there too.....even though we lost that one. Becky making her oranges with cloves in them during one sparse holiday gift giving time. I'm sure there were other good times, but I'm blanking on what they might be.

Back to the image: Only about half the time we lived there did the sign work 100% of the time. More often than not, it read 'Wonder B ad' or 'Wonder Br a ' or 'Wonder B ead' and my favourite, it sometimes even shined out 'Wonder Br ad'.

I never remember the word 'Wonder' ever having burned out letters.

Song by: Bread (get it? get it???)

Monday, November 05, 2007

The Devil Inside

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Of all the on-line quizzes I have taken - and really, there have not been that many - I have to say this might be the most accurate. Not so much about persuasive or powerful, but it's a little hard to argue with the 'temptation and addiction' part of it all. Perhaps the enslavement too - whether it be work, relationship or lifestyle.

song by: INXS

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Mad About You

I don't know what happened, but last night I just melted down.

It couldn't not really have been over undelivered pizza - but that was clearly my breaking point.

We had a decent day of looking at granite and then visiting one of my sisters. She has a new kitten and well, I just cannot not go visit that. I also love her dog, Petey.

For those who do not know, picking tile for our last house could have caused divorce, or at the very least, justifiable homicide. That bitch, Nancy Grace would have even let me off the hook with a, 'yeah, he had it coming' comment. So looking at granite could easily have been putting me back on the singles market. Ya just never know.

So the evening plan was to go out for a nice dinner. But that plan go downgraded to ordering in pizza. Already we were off on the wrong foot.

I should have known - and even said - that when ordering went so smoothly, something would be fucked up. We live in a place where the best delivery folks could never find us.

Naturally we order when we're already hungry and know it will be a 45 minute wait to actually get the food - so the cards are stacked against us. Or at least me.

75 minutes later, no delivery, so we call. There is no record of anyone putting in the order. I'm breaking. The bf almost almost almost lets them off the hook because they give us a $20 credit on our next order. BFD.

Personally, I want the asshole fired - or worse. He remembered the conversation and the order, but has no idea whey it is not in the computer. A major mistake of the partner at that point is - "let's just make something".

At this point it is pushing 9p. From going out to dinner - to ordering in - to making dinner, I am finally broken. ...and I act out. And I know it.

I throw on my work boots and say I am getting the fuck out of here. I'll assume I was acting irrational enough that I was not even attempted to be talked down from this....or reasoned with. He was probably smarter than I was - but let us not kid ourselves - I was hoping to be talked to, so when it did not happen, just sent me that much farther over the edge.

I did indeed hop in my car and leave....with no direction. When I worked at a hospital, I had a place to go to 24/7. I don't have that now. So I drove blasting music in my little car. It helped.

But I also ended up at a frickin' bar too: downing more than a few Blue Moons, listening to and watching bad music. Then just watching some guys play pool, while I silently mapped out their ill-fated shots and knowing the ones they were designating to sink were the wrong ones.

I had all their problems figured out - why not mine?

song by: Belinda Carlisle