Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Till Death Do Us Part

For better or worse, that's what they say.

In 30 years we have seen both. Ditto with sickness and health. Richer and poorer too.

Yes, we have had some bumps along the way, some stops and starts, but today we consider it our 30th anniversary.

Can you believe it?  I cannot.

As I've said in previous posts, before same-sex weddings, us gays had seemingly arbitrary dates in which to attach our relationships. 710 and I are no different. We have our official wedding date, which was 25+ years after our "considered start date".

We had met at work. Looking back, it's inexplicable how or why we were drawn to each other. Neither of us were at our prime, even at 21 and 24. We were awkward at best. Still, I knew (or hoped) as we sat there day after day that we would go out.  ...and with the help of after work outings with co-workers, we eventually did....but then eventually without the others.

For years - decades maybe - the relationship was more work than pleasure. Much earlier on, I used to think it should be easier than it was and that we should just be able to enjoy it. But let's face it, I'm immature, so it took a lot more work on both our parts before we got to a point where buttons weren't pushed.

Oh hell, it took a while before we found out we had those buttons....and then we had to test and retest them.

It's safe to say that 710 has put up with a lot more with / of me than the other way around. Illness and surgeries just plagued me. Then there was our moving back to Cleveland where my family resides. It would have been easy - and maybe wise - to cut and run, but he did not. And now he can't, because of the kids.

Sometimes it seems like it has indeed been 30 years, and in other ways, it seems like only 30 months. He continues to make me smile and laugh (often unexpectedly) and sometimes he makes me grind my teeth. Hopefully I do the same for him..minus the teeth grinding thing, though I know I can frustrate him.

If How I Met Your Mother has taught us anything (and it has!!!!!), it is that in any relationship, one person is 'the reacher' and one is 'the settler'.

710 will deny it, but he is the settler. Poor 710.

So tonight we will go out to a really nice dinner. I'm such an old fart, I told him we could wait till the weekend, but 710 is insistent - and rightfully so - that we celebrate the day. This is why a January "anniversary" must bundle up against the cold to go out to do anything special...when they'd (i.e. me!) would rather just nest at home.

As for anything else special for such a milestone, that will wait for better weather. A better time of year.

The idea is / was going to Paris, but who wants to go in January? And now since I posted a Charlie Hebdo cover on my FB page, ISIS is just waiting for me to step into France's border. I won't give them that least for a few months. When I eventually get there, they can do their worst.

My genetic make-up (again, for better or worse) can have me hanging around for another 30 more. Hopefully 710's genes will have him do the same. Maybe by the time we hit our 60th, same sex marriage will finally be legal in Ohio.

As for the title image - you get a little seen glimpse of 710, albeit from 1988.

There he is in his Ravenclaw dress robes graduation gown. There I am in....lord knows where I got those pants, but it was the '80s. And no belt???  (and yes Morty & Co. this was taken outside of the old Larkins Hall.)

I got to meet my future in-laws for the first time that day...including his grandparents, sister and brother and their spouses. And this was three years after we started going out.

We might have pictures of us together that were slightly earlier than that. There are of me. There are of him. But I can't find any of us together. So this will have to do.

Well tomorrow starts the trek to 31 years.  Wish us luck.

Song by: Madonna


wcs said...

Happy anniversary to you both! Here's to 30 more!

anne marie in philly said...

whoa, it's the elusive 710! such a handsome couple, then and now!

congratulations and many many more years of happiness for you two. perhaps by this time next year, equality will be the LAW of the land!

Bob said...

Happy Happy Anniversary!

This Saturday, we'll be at the wedding of our friends, David and Neal, who have been together 31 years in South Freaking Carolina and are finally tying the knot.

It's nice to see that, and see couples, gay or straight, celebrating such a commitment, so, again...

Happy Happy and Cheers to many more!

Fearsome Beard said...

Happy Anniversary. Your words are spot on, relationships take work. Work well worth it for those who are willing to invest the time, effort, patience and self into them. Congratulations for you and710's work well invested, well done.

Jeffrey said...

Many congratulations and blessings to you both :-)

GuyDads said...

Happy Anniversary and to many, many more.

Morty said...


Jim said...

Happy Anniversary! So... where is the current picture?

Happyman said...

Congratulations! Wishing many more happy years for the two of you.

Jonny said...

Congrats. I can't believe I've known you two for almost as long!

Erik Rubright said...

Belated happy anniversary to you both! And congratulations, probably more to 710 for putting up with you all these years. ;-)

Anonymous said...


Mark in DE said...

"Sometimes it seems like it has indeed been 30 years, and in other ways, it seems like only 30 months. He continues to make me smile and laugh (often unexpectedly) and sometimes he makes me grind my teeth. Hopefully I do the same for him."

This is exactly how I feel about the relationship between me and my husband, together 19 years this coming May.

Wow - 30 years is quite an accomplishment. Congratulations to you both and happy anniversary!!