Tuesday, June 14, 2016


I'm struggling for a good post today.

Orlando weighs heavy on my mind, but I can't seem to think of anything to do the subject matter, or the victims, justice. Every direction I seem to go, I come up empty. Or worse - I start to ramble.

I can no longer write about gun control, terrorism, political stupidity (when it comes to these events) or religion. I've said it before - many have - and nothing has changed. The needle has not been moved - forward - even by a degree.

I cannot deal with the stupidity and hate from any of those groups - and while in a year, anyone going back to read this might scratch there head as to specifics, I cannot and will not acknowledge those here. Not now.

Sunday left me horribly distracted.

For a while I could not tear myself away from the coverage - and then I went the complete opposite: I avoided the news and went into a denial phase. If I can't hear about it: it didn't happen.

I couldn't be bothered to hear Obama's address, though I hear it was great. I expected no less from him. The 24/7 anchors were horrible. Wolf Blitzer: you're an embarrassment.

Still at the my core,  was rattled.....and in a weird way, I don't know why.

Don't say the obvious, because I already have. It goes deeper than that. And it's not because the victims were gay or it was at a gay bar / gathering place. Sure, that wasn't a great angle to the story. It kept coming back to: "the worst mass shooting in U.S. history".

THE worst.

....for now.

And I think that's what really has me down. Some asshole will be hell bent on beating that 'record'.

Social media has already raked Florida, the NRA, the Senate and House over the coals - and deservedly so. Trump has patted himself on the back for his part - and blamed Obama for what he thinks is his. All the predictable things have taken place.

I think the biggest shock of this entire thing is that I'm not shocked.  And that is truly the saddest part of this - and possibly why I am upset.

I'm not a Broadway or Tonys kind of fag. Musicals are so not my thing. But with the news as it was, we had the Tonys on last night to keep away from any news. Naturally, current events leaked into a live broadcast, as it could not be ignored.

I'm also not as intrigued with Hamilton as everybody else seems to be. It's amusing as a clip or two, but two hours and 45 minutes (!!!!) of it?  Someone please become Aaron Burr and shoot me.

(Yes, I see the sick irony in that line given the post.)

Still, while the show was muted far more often than when it was not, we did happen to catch Lin-Manuel Miranda's speech for his win. It didn't make everything better, of course, but there was a flicker.  It wasn't of hope - as I'm not sure I feel that in these instances. But it was a flicker of some kind: humanity? compassion? empathy?

It's not that there aren't enough good words out there afterwards. Maybe it was that he mentioned it but didn't mention-mention it.

There I go again....rambling. Unable to focus.

Song by: the Psychedelic Furs


Michael Dodd said...

I was bothered to realize that my own reaction was muted by the fact that hatred and violence in this country no longer shock or stun or even surprise me. A friend back from his mission in Africa told me he expects these sorts of things in the country where he works there, not in the States. I pointed out that he has been living elsewhere for years now and that his image of America is woefully incomplete.

Bob said...

"THE worst.

....for now."

And that's what's keeping my stomach in knots even today.

Fearsome Beard said...

I was still quite distracted Monday as well. I found I couldn't work and decided to start cleaning my carpets, today I will finish that. Getting my energy out into a mindless physical chore helped.

Mark in DE said...

I know how you feel. I too have been usually distracted and saddened by this tragedy and the lack of anything from our leaders but "thoughts and prayers" for the victims and their families. Its really hard to be hopeful right now.