Tuesday, January 07, 2020

Golden

Well, if Neither was a betting person - and real - they would have walked away the winner in Sunday nights Golden Globe Fiasco Awards.

25 (?) categories, Neither (of us) got 14 of them.

Ouch.

The only one who did worse than us?  Both.  We only both correctly guessed two same items.

Granted, the Globes is like a jack of all trades award show. Nothing makes sense - if so, how could you explain Zellweger.

Yes, I know Mike voted for her - and won! Yes, I know she portrayed a gay icon (that one STILL baffles me - not her playing it, but why Judy Garland is one). But by all accounts it was a lackluster movie that spent three weeks in the theater.

Don't even get me started on J Lo even being nominated. The joke there is, she keeps thinking Oscar in a leading role. She couldn't even win a globe in the same role billed as 'supporting'.  I don't think she wants me critiquing that dress either.  Honey, Nordstroms holiday gift wrapping station closed two weeks ago!

But I see, and I'm sure Mike will agree - right?, that this is like the stretching you do before a big event or going to the gym.

Now Mike - a gym is where one goes to get into better shape. It's kind of like that place where coach made you climb rope or the other kids threw red balls at you, and where you were picked last for teams. The difference is - you pay to get in and have people do that to you.

So, yes. I won. 5-4.

For a long time, I thought I was going to win with only selecting one correct category. It was a long time before I get a second or third - and a longer time till Mike got one.

Sometime after I bailed on this - yes, he'll tell you ALL about that - and went to bed two-thirds of the way though, he accumulated a few more wins.......like Zellweger......if one wants to call that a "win". It looks like we'll be getting Bridget Jones, episode XVI.

I was a little astonished a few ways - I wanted Succession to win (and the nominated cast), but really didn't think they would. But two of the three did.  I wanted and assumed Banderas would win - and totally did not see Joaquin Phoenix rising (see what I did there?).  I wanted Awkwafina to win, but it wasn't a confident guess. But her competition in other awards won't be the same ladies she was up against here.

Mike did not like Phoenix's speech. I did (well, I viewed it the day after), but save being off his lithium, I kind of dug it.

Beyonce, not so much.


Bey is getting shut down by social media for not doing a standing O for Phoenix's win. Well first off - can you see those shoulder pads(?) ? Girl couldn't move her arms enough to get balance, let alone stand up.

Secondly, they gave Elton John a standing O for - I dunno - not OD'ing and puckering up to BLOTUS and Rush Limbaugh for some coin? He's worth over $500M : GET BETTER FAKE HAIR.

I see Gervais has been getting a lot of flack. Granted, I didn't see all of the show, but he told some unpleasant truths. He was correct to say {paraphrasing} before people got political, they should check their streaming service who paid for their show / award (meaning mostly Apple and Amazon) and their less than fair labour practices around the world. It's tough to rail against social injustice when you don't give a damn about a greenback a-dollar.......except when it's paying your salary.

For the show parts I watched, he could have been better and nastier. I did love the Felicity Huffman joke, though seems Tom Hanks did not.

Speaking of................not one clip of Joe vs the Volcano or Bachelor Party. I'd take either of those over Polar Express or You've Got She-Mail. Put props to him giving accolades to Peter Scolari.

Loved Kate McKinnon's intro for Ellen, and Ellen herself did a good job.

Annette Benning could learn to loosen up. Or practice her lines. Or both.

Mike's favourite word of the night?
It's good he knows what they are - which is kind of shocking - even if {allegedly} he doesn't like them. To be honest, I don't even know who he was talking about, as I was flossing and brushing. To be super honest, I am not sure I want to know. Let's hope they were Carol Burnett's and we'll be good.

So, the stage is kind of set for the 9th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®. Kind of.

Again, these groupings won't really what we will be seeing. So we might not even see Zellweger.

Finger's crossed!


And from the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe - here are the numbers.


Best Motion Picture, Drama - neither
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama - Blobby
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama - neither
Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy - Mike
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy - Mike
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy - neither
Best Motion Picture, Animated - neither
Best Motion Picture, Foreign Language - both
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture - Blobby
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture - neither
Best Director, Motion Picture - neither
Best Screenplay, Motion Picture - neither
Best Original Score, Motion Picture - neither
Best Original Song, Motion Picture - neither
Best Television Series, Drama - Blobby
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Drama - Blobby
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Drama - Blobby
Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy - Mike
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy - neither
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy - neither
Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - neither
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - both
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - neither
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television - Mike
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television - neither


Song by: Fall Out Boy

2 comments:

Ur-spo said...

Congrats on your win Mr. Blobby !

Anonymous said...

Congrats to you on a well fought battle/guessing game.

I am ashamed of my performance. And that you went to bed before the ceremony was complete. But it's good to know that you are keeping up with your Sunday night tooth (2) brushing habit.

It was a mixed up night. Perhaps folks were flustered by all of the anti-Hollywood jokes from host Ricky Gervais. But people looked on edge - sort of like me checking and double-checking the list of my guesses and confident that our accounting firm had miscounted the results.

I was surprised to see Blobby NOT mention Gwyneth's ensemble. It was a night of unfortunate outfits -- paging Kerry Washington. And not to sound catty (meow) but aside from J Lo's dress, ummmm the make-up? Made her look much older than her 62 years.

I look forward to our Oscar battle -- I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. Stay tuned