All By Myself

I don't know if this was the last Annual Academy Award Guessing Games®, but it might be. 

Blobby got stood up, but good. 

Take a look at the text chain. 

At least I got a warning I was going to get stood up. I suppose that's something? 

I just suppose the magic is gone with Mike and me. I can see no other reason. 

Sure sure.....he and his husband are "on vacation", but still. He knew about this. He always knows about this. 

I'm just ever so slowly getting the brush off. I suppose the friendship ran its course. 

On the plus side, I only had to win one category to prevail. As it would turn out, I should not watch all the movies more of the time if we are to continue this contest. I only lost 6 of the 24 categories. 7 if you count there was a tie for Best Short Action Film (clearly I guessed neither). 

All I get are bragging rights. 

I hold out hopes for Mike and myself. At least he texted to make fun of Barbara Streisand's appearance at the show. He was right to do so. 

That said, we watched very little. I'd only turn up the volume when Conan was on. 

Anyhoo......from the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatam & Howe, I give to you the results. 

Best supporting actress - I lost (but still glad Amy Madigan won)

Best actor - I win

Best actress - I win

Best supporting actor - I win

Best director - I win

Best makeup and hairstyling - I win

Best original score - I lost

Best live action short film - I lost. Twice. 

Best adapted screenplay - I win

Best original screenplay - I win

Best animated short film - I lost

Best casting - I lost

Best original song - I win

Best documentary feature film - I lost

Best documentary short film - I win

Best international feature film - I win

Best animated feature film - I win

Best production design - I win

Best film editing - I win

Best sound - I win

Best visual effects - I lost. Stupid Avatar

Best cinematography - I lost

Best costume design - I win

I'm guessing this is how Mike felt when he'd win his "office pool". 

Song by: Eric Carmen

Guessing Games

If you ever thought I was winging it before in Mike's and my 15th Annual Academy Award Guessing Games® you haven't seen anything yet. For better or worse. 

I might officially be old, but Mike is older, so I'll always have that. 

I'm not sure what movies (if any) he has seen. I have seen a whopping zero. Some I haven't heard of; ditto with the actors, music or costumes. Hence the old comment. But to be fair, staying away from media has me at a huge disadvantage here. In the past I'd have heard about some of this shit. 

2026 really puts "guessing" into the spotlight here - for both of us, I'd assume. 

Let's just say, I already know what cookies Mike will be getting when I lose this thing. I could easily go to websites to see who favours whom / what, but I might just go with my gut. 

While I will try to have fun quips below, it's gonna be tough going into this totally blind. 

Best picture "Bugonia" "F1" "Frankenstein" "Hamnet" "Marty Supreme" "One Battle After Another" "The Secret Agent" "Sentimental Value" "Sinners" "Train Dreams" 

I haven't even heard of three of these. Maybe I've seen the clips somewhere. Maybe. You gotta figure it comes down to Sinners or One Battle. The latter didn't do that well at the box office, but it had great buzz for a while. Still, I'm gonna pick the former. 

Best supporting actress Elle Fanning, "Sentimental Value" Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas, "Sentimental Value" Amy Madigan, "Weapons" Wunmi Mosaku, "Sinners" Teyana Taylor, "One Battle After Another" 

If I'm being honest, I'm going with my friend Jon's take on Taylor's performance. And I know Amy Madigan plays a freakish character, but she has done such great work over the years, I wouldn't be mad if she won this and I lost the category. 

Best actor Timothée Chalamet, "Marty Supreme" Leonardo DiCaprio, "One Battle After Another" Ethan Hawke, "Blue Moon" Michael B. Jordan, "Sinners" Wagner Moura, "The Secret Agent" 

Ya know, opera / ballet comment aside, Chalamet's demeanor has just become exhausting. He's quite full of himself. Maybe he's been dating a Kardashian for too long. I just want him to lose. 

Best actress Jessie Buckley, "Hamnet" Rose Byrne, "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You" Kate Hudson, "Song Sung Blue" Renate Reinsve, "Sentimental Value" Emma Stone, "Bugonia" 

Emma Stone shaving her head won't let her win this time. 

Best supporting actor Benicio Del Toro, "One Battle After Another" Jacob Elordi, "Frankenstein" Delroy Lindo, "Sinners" Sean Penn, "One Battle After Another" Stellan Skarsgård, "Sentimental Value" 

Again, my friend Jon said Penn was great. And if I can look past his personal persona, he is a great actor. As must as I'd like to see Elordi {sigh} up there......just to look at.....it probs won't be he. 

Best director Chloé Zhao, "Hamnet" Josh Safdie, "Marty Supreme" Paul Thomas Anderson, "One Battle After Another" Joachim Trier, "Sentimental Value" Ryan Coogler, "Sinners" 

Best makeup and hairstyling "Frankenstein" "Kokuho" "Sinners" "The Smashing Machine" "The Ugly Stepsister" 

Jacob Elordi {sigh} says his make-up took up to 12-14 hours for this movie. That alone should get them something. And who wants to cover up all that beauty???

Best original score "Bugonia" -- Jerskin Fendrix "Frankenstein" -- Alexandre Desplat "Hamnet" -- Max Richter "One Battle After Another" -- Jonny Greenwood "Sinners" -- Ludwig Göransson 

Best live action short film "Butcher's Stain" "Jane Austen's Period Drama" "A Friend of Dorothy" "The Singers" "Two People Exchanging Saliva" 

I adore Miriam Margolyes, so I hope Dorothy wins. I'm sure the others are good too. 

Best adapted screenplay "Bugonia" -- Will Tracy "Frankenstein" -- Guillermo Del Toro "Hamnet" -- Maggie O'Farrell and Chloé Zhao "One Battle After Another" -- Paul Thomas Anderson "Train Dreams" -- Clint Bentley and Greg Kwedar 

Best original screenplay "Blue Moon" -- Robert Kaplow "It Was Just an Accident" -- Jafar Panahi "Marty Supreme" -- Ronald Bronstein and Josh Safdie "Sentimental Value" -- Joachim Trier and Eskil Vogt "Sinners" – Ryan Coogler 

Best animated short film "Butterfly" "Forevergreen" "The Girl Who Cried Pearls" "Retirement Plan" "The Three Sisters" 

I don't know. 

Best casting "Hamnet" -- Nina Gold "Marty Supreme" -- Jennifer Venditti "One Battle After Another" -- Cassandra Kulukundis "The Secret Agent" -- Gabriel Domingues "Sinners" -- Francine Maisler 

Is this new? Did it replace something? I don't remember a 'casting' category. Lord fuck knows about this. 100% guess. As if the others were more educated ones. 

Best original song "Dear Me" from "Diane Warren: Relentless" "Golden" from "KPop Demon Hunters" "I Lied to You" from "Sinners" "Sweet Dreams of Joy" from "Viva Verdi!" "Train Dreams" from "Train Dreams" 

There must be some law that says Diane Warren MUST have a song in this category. I'm not sure she's ever won - or should. But there she is...........again. (she's had 17. I had to look it up.).  She won't win. 

Best documentary feature film "The Alabama Solution" "Come See Me in the Good Light" "Cutting Through Rocks" "Mr. Nobody Against Putin" "The Perfect Neighbor" 

I dunno. But neither does Mike. Or you. 

Best documentary short film "All the Empty Rooms" "Armed Only with a Camera: The Life and Death of Brent Renaud" "Children No More: 'Were and Are Gone'" "The Devil is Busy" "Perfectly a Strangeness" 

Are we really voting for ones that aren't about killing children in school shootings?  Je think not. 

Best international feature film Brazil, "The Secret Agent" France, "It Was Just an Accident" Norway, "Sentimental Value" Spain, "Sirât" Tunisia, "The Voice of Hind Rajab" 

I always pick the one that is also up for Best Picture. It almost ever wins best picture (maybe except Parasite(?).)

Best animated feature film "Arco" "Elio" "KPop Demon Hunters" "Little Amélie or the Character of Rain" "Zootopia 2" 

I've seen Josh Brolin go on and on about this - and how it makes him cry. REALLY cry, well, you kinda gotta love that. 

Best production design "Frankenstein" "Hamnet" "Marty Supreme" "One Battle After Another" "Sinners" 

It's Del Toro. He always goes beyond. 

Best film editing "F1" -- Stephen Mirrione "Marty Supreme" -- Ronald Bronstein and Josh Safdie "One Battle After Another" -- Andy Jurgensen "Sentimental Value" -- Olivier Bugge Coutté "Sinners" -- Michael P. Shawver 

Best sound "F1" "Frankenstein" "One Battle After Another" "Sinners" "Sirât" 

C'mon. vroom vroom vroom.  Right? 

Best visual effects "Avatar: Fire and Ash" "F1" "Jurassic World Rebirth" "The Lost Bus" "Sinners" 

It seems like another Avatar should get it. I just don't want it. 

Best cinematography "Frankenstein" "Marty Supreme" "One Battle After Another" "Sinners" "Train Dreams" 

Best costume design "Avatar: Fire and Ash" -- Deborah L. Scott "Frankenstein" -- Kate Hawley "Hamnet" -- Malgosia Turzanska "Marty Supreme" -- Miyako Bellizzi "Sinners" -- Ruth E. Carter

Again: Del Toro movie. 

For the record, for the first time ever, I asked AI to generate a pic for me:  Mike (insert last name here) holding an Oscar. 

That is what I got. While a perfectly decent looking man, it's not Mike. This guy has more hair and it's darker. Not the ash blond that real Mike sports.  ....I mean, what's left of it. 

Mike can claim the win of looking better than his AI generated counterpart.  ....but it's not an actual category. 

Check back Tuesday for results. 

Song by: Daryl Hall & John Oates

Only You

I find it almost implausible that Mike saw multiple entries into this (well, last) year's movies. I supposed when you're older and retired one can plant themselves in the reclining seats at the theater and get the gist of the movie while you actually take your daily nap. 

Though I'm sure he's awake enough for popcorn and Jujubes. 

We had fun texting during the awards. He had to remind me they were actually on. It never occurred to me they'd start at 19:00. 

Regarding the show, there wasn't much to be critical of - except Cynthia Erivo's nails. I could not figure out how she'd work a toilet paper roll, but Mike assured me she "had people for that". We both figured that physically Demi Moore was unable to fully close her mouth. Botox gone bad? And Timothy Chalamet just needs a long bath. Lots of soap and scrubbing. 

And while I like Adrian Brody, man that 110 minute speech just tested everyone's patience. Everyone being Mike and myself. If it were the Gong Show.......I'm 100% certain JP Morgan or Jaime Farr would have hit it. 

I loved Mick Jagger coming out to present. He's older than Mitch McConnell who couldn't have flowed across that stage with as much fluidity (read: any) of Mick. Mike thought he looked like a Muppet.  I'm assuming he meant Janice. 

This also looks about how Meg Ryan did during the last award. Mind you, this is way better than she has in the past few years.  .....and Goldie Hawn's very very recent face peel looked ok on the 173 year old actress. 

Ok, maybe I had a few more criticisms than I thought. 

Normally we are in the mid-single digits for things on which we differ - at least movie wise. This year, there were 11 (!!) things up for contention. On the other 12 we would either both gonna win or lose together, so it really came down to the 11. 

I like prime numbers, so I felt this might be an omen. A good one. Not like the Damien kind. It's also an odd number, which theoretically means we could not tie as we have done in the past. 

And trust me, there was no tie. The aforementioned omen much more evil than Damien. I was Lee Remmick dangling from the upper staircase in this metaphor. 

Mike prevailed. Again. He only loves his alcohol more than his Oscar wins. Only one of those won't hurt his liver.....unless he falls onto the statuette. 

Mathematically it was over for me a little more than halfway through. Mike got the first six (of the 11) very early on, and eventually near the end, Only after he got those six, I finally eked out three. I really started to think it would be a total shut out. Two other categories we both lost on. 

Don't get me wrong, I picked many categories correctly, but those were all ties with Mike. Just my individual selections bombed. 

In the past, Mike, appropriately so, has made fun of me for not sticking with the telecast. But as this started an hour earlier and mostly moved along (well, except for Brody), I was awake for the entire thing. I thought Conan did a decent job. 

Mike was a gracious winner - I mean, as gracious as he can be with barely showing empathy and / or compassion. Bottom line - he stopped short of pointing and laughing at me. At least via text. What went on in person is anyone's guess. 

Meanwhile, I remained pleasant and congratulated him on his win. I said 'congrats', what more do you people want from me????

I was afraid the accounting team of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe were not going to be available for results tabulation due to all the work going on at DOGE, but then it occurred to me that DOGE aren't actually doing any auditing. So the trio was able to squeeze us into their busy schedules making sure the 14th Annual Academy Award Guessing Games®  is on the up and up. 

Best picture - both win

Best director - Blobby wins

Best actress - both lost

Best actor - both win

Best supporting actress - Mike wins

Best supporting actor -  both win

Best original screenplay - Mike wins

Best adapted screenplay - both win

Best international feature - both win

Best documentary feature - Mike wins

Best animated feature - Mike wins

Best cinematography - both win

Best costume design - both win

Best film editing - Mike wins

Best production design - both win

Best original score - both win

Best original song - both win

Best sound - Blobby wins

Best visual effects - both win

Best makeup and hairstyling - Mike wins

Best documentary short - both lose

Best animated short - both lose

Best live-action short - Blobby wins

It is amazing to note that we have done this for 14 years. Mike is a good foil and overall a decent guy. I just give him a hard time here.............and no doubt will continue to do so. 

Until next year, when the Pauley Shore biopic comes out with Emo Phillips as the star........we will see you at the movies. 

Song by: Yaz

Unnatural Selection

Blobby is uncharted territory with the 14th Annual Academy Award Guessing Games®. I'm kind of in Mike territory, actually. 

....and that is a scary place to be..........I'm told. 

Normally, I'm the one who has seen a handful of the movies in question and Mike has maybe seen one. Sometimes none. 

That would be me this year. 

None. 

Not one in any category. Some I haven't even heard about or of. Usually, I get at least that much 4-1-1: titles.  But alas, not reading news of most any kind has left me at a disadvantage. 

....or has it? 

Mike sees jack-squat and with his utter lack of knowledge usually prevails here (not just with movies, either, I must say). Maybe he's onto something.

I'm not even sure I can contribute a lot of quirky (read: funny) comments below. It won't stop me from trying, though it probably should. 

Mike has told me he's voting Wicked as a straight (ha!) ticket - even in the categories in which they are not nominated. That would give me a HUGE advantage, as I can't see them winning in the ones for which they did get nods. 

I considered voting for everything Emilia Pérez because, well.......illegal alien sounding name. And if it sweeps, it would just ignite MAGA. It's going to anyway, but.......let's pour on the gasoline. 

Alas, I'm just making guesses. Even more than before. 

Mike will post his selections in the comments section. 

Best picture "Anora" (Neon) "The Brutalist" (A24) "A Complete Unknown" (Searchlight) "Conclave" (Focus) "Dune: Part Two" (Warner Bros.) "Emilia Pérez" (Netflix) "I'm Still Here" (Sony Classics) "Nickel Boys" (Amazon/MGM) "The Substance" (Mubi) "Wicked" (Universal) 

Is there a world where Wicked should win - or be nominated?  Short answer is 'no'.  The long answer is "noooooooooo". 

Best director Sean Baker, "Anora" Brady Corbet, "The Brutalist" James Mangold, "A Complete Unknown" Jacques Audiard, "Emilia Pérez" Coralie Fargeat, "The Substance" 

Best actress Cynthia Erivo, "Wicked" Karla Sofia Gascón, "Emilia Pérez" Mikey Madison, "Anora" Demi Moore, "The Substance" Fernanda Torres, "I'm Still Here" 

I mean, she was robbed for no nods for St. Elmo's Fire or GI Jane. This is just payback. 

Best actor Adrian Brody, "The Brutalist" Timothée Chalamet, "A Complete Unknown" Colman Domingo, "Sing Sing" Ralph Fiennes, "Conclave" Sebastian Stan, "The Apprentice" 

I love Fiennes, but it's not his year. Nor Chalamet's. Maybe had he been nominated for Dune. To be fair, I've only seen (and liked) Brody in Wes Anderson movies, and one Tori Amos video. I'd say he'd "win by a nose", but that things half the size of Iowa. 

Best supporting actress Monica Barbaro, "A Complete Unknown" Ariana Grande, "Wicked" Felicity Jones, "The Brutalist" Isabella Rossellini, "Conclave" Zoe Saldaña, "Emilia Pérez" 

C'mon!  Original nepo baby for the win!  Listen - as long as it doesn't go to Wicked, I'd be happy. But we love Isabella. 

Best supporting actor Yura Borisov, "Anora" Kieran Culkin, "A Real Pain" Edward Norton, "A Complete Unknown" Guy Pearce, "The Brutalist" Jeremy Strong, "The Apprentice" 

It's Kendall v Roman. Though I like Guy Pearce. But just like in Succession, Kendall (Strong) isn't getting the nod.  (oh yeah, Succession spoiler alert)

Best original screenplay "Anora," Sean Baker "The Brutalist," Brady Corbet & Mona Fastvold "A Real Pain," Jesse Eisenberg "September 5," Tim Fehlbaum & Moritz Binder "The Substance," Coralie Fargeat 

The only way Eisenberg is ever going to be introduced as, "Academy Award winner......"

Best adapted screenplay "A Complete Unknown," Jay Cocks & James Mangold "Conclave," Peter Straughan "Emilia Pérez," Jacques Audiard, Thomas Bidegain & Nicolas Livecchi "Nickel Boys," RaMell Ross & Joslyn Barnes "Sing Sing," Clint Bentley, Greg Kwedar, Clarence Maclin & John "Divine G" Whitfield 

Gotta throw something to the Catholics. I mean, they never get any love!

Best international feature "I'm Still Here," Walter Salles (Brazil) "The Girl with the Needle," Magnus von Horn (Denmark) "Emilia Pérez," Jacques Audiard (France) "The Seed of the Sacred Fig," Mohammad Rasoulof (Germany) "Flow," Miguel Gomes (Latvia) 

It's the Roma of 2025. If you can't take the big prize, you get the international one. As long as you're nominated for both, that is. 

Best documentary feature "Black Box Diaries," Shiori Itō (MTV) "No Other Land," Basel Adra, Hamdan Ballal, Yuval Abraham & Rachel Szor (No distributor) "Porcelain War," Brendan Bellomo & Slava Leontyev (Picturehouse) "Soundtrack to a Coup d'Etat," Johan Grimonprez (Kino Lorber) "Sugarcane," Julian Brave NoiseCat & Emily Kassie (Nat Geo) 

Had the BLOTUS' / Zelensky's oval office conversation taken place before ballot voting, Porcelain War might have taken this - it still might. All movies look worthy, but I love the juxtaposition of Coup d'Etat. 

Best animated feature "Flow" (Janus Films/Sideshow) "Inside Out 2" (Disney/Pixar) "Memoir of a Snail" (IFC Films) "Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl" (Aardman/Netflix) "The Wild Robot" (Dreamworks/Universal) 

I so wanted it to be Wallace & Gromit, but I think not. 

Best cinematography "The Brutalist," Lol Crawley "Dune: Part Two," Greig Fraser "Emilia Pérez," Paul Guillaume "Maria," Edward Lachman "Nosferatu," Jarin Blaschke 

Best costume design "A Complete Unknown," Arianne Phillips "Conclave," Lisy Christl "Gladiator II," Janty Yates "Nosferatu," Linda Muir "Wicked," Paul Tazewell 

This movie was about style over substance, right?  Not Substance. 

Best film editing "Anora," Sean Baker "The Brutalist," Dávid Jancsó "Conclave," Nick Emerson "Emilia Pérez," Juliette Welfling "Wicked," Myron Kerstein 

no witty remark. 

Best production design "The Brutalist," Judy Becker "Conclave," Suzie Davies "Dune: Part Two," Patrice Vermette "Nosferatu," Craig Lathrop "Wicked," Nathan Crowley 

see Best Costume design

Best original score "The Brutalist," Daniel Blumberg "Conclave," Volker Bertelmann "Emilia Pérez," Clément Ducol & Camille "Wicked," John Powell & Stephen Schwartz "The Wild Robot," Kris Bowers 

I listened to nothing. But you gotta figure the Brutalist would have an imposing score - just by title alone. 

Best original song "Never Too Late," "Elton John: Never Too Late" (Elton John & Brandi Carlile) "El Mal," "Emilia Pérez" (Clement Ducol, Camille & Jacques Audiard) "Mi Camino," "Emilia Pérez" (Clement Ducol & Camille) "Like a Bird," "Sing Sing" (Adrian Quesada & Abraham Alexander) "The Journey," "The Six Triple Eight" (Diane Warren) 

Honestly - anything that's not Elton is fine with me. Like I said last time, he's worth $500M and still wears shitty hair - whomever's it is. Or was. 

Best sound "A Complete Unknown" "Dune: Part Two" "Emilia Pérez" "Wicked" "The Wild Robot" 

I'm assuming a lot of sand noises. 

Best visual effects "Alien: Romulus" "Better Man" "Dune: Part Two" "Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes" "Wicked" 

How many fucking Planet of the Apes movies are there???? And WHY?

Best makeup and hairstyling "A Different Man" "Emilia Pérez" "Nosferatu" "The Substance" "Wicked" 

see Best Production design. 

Best documentary short "Death by Numbers" "I Am Ready, Warden" "Incident" "Instruments of a Beating Heart" "The Only Girl in the Orchestra" 

Torn here. I hope it is Instruments or the Orchestra. Both music oriented, one with a woman, one with a girl. 

Best animated short "Beautiful Men" "In the Shadow of the Cypress" "Magic Candies" "Wander to Wonder" "Yuck!" 

I watched all the trailers at least. None wow'd me. So, maybe the one where one of the animated guys looks like he's hanging brain?

Best live-action short "A Lien" "Anuja" "I'm Not a Robot" "The Last Ranger" "The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent"

Saw the trailers here. Most looked intriguing, but I like this premise of the I am Not a Robot. 

You will all find out Tuesday who has won. 

As to what we've won is another matter. I never fulfilled my obligation last year - as I lost. So, I suppose it will be double or nothing. And in that regard - either way, I lose. 

Song by: Muse

It's Over

Well, THAT'S over! 

Mike's "witty" comments in his selections aside, he wasn't even around for the first half of Oscar night because he was at an actual Oscar party - and I quote - "have been asked to play piano for a "friend" (ok, I added those quotation marks) who is singing one number."

There may have been an audible groan by me at the thought of someone in P-Town speak-"singing" "What Was I Made For", because you just know that was the "number".   ....and that Mike was tinkling the ivories (not a water sports/pachyderm euphemism.....probably) is just precious. And I just know he volunteered more than he was "asked". 

Wow - there are a lot of quotation marks above. All perfectly cromulent. 

Maybe it was due to the time change, but I assumed this thing started at 20:00 as it usually does. It did not. So we missed Jimmy Kimmel's monologue which is usually good, but who knows. I suppose YouTube does. And we missed an award or two, nothing the internet couldn't catch me up on. 

The show? Blah. It seemed so forced, even more so than usual. And really? A standing ovation for the stars of Twins???? I'd get it if both of them were dying. Unfortunately, they don't seem to be. 

Due to Mike's piano recital, he was virtually non-existent in our normal texting back-and-forth for the first half of the show.When he did arrive, it was fun. Maybe that's the sweet spot:  miss the first 30 minutes of the broadcast and only chat for half of it. 

As we went into this, Mike and I diverged in our selections by 11, which is a lot for us....and the same as last year (I just checked).  And like last year, Mike won by one. 

It seems I still let emotion and not logic dictate two choices (more really, but some of those paid off. I was very correct about the best actress........thank you!)  - director and song. Had I just picked one correctly, it would have been a tie.  I stepped up with the animated stuff; he with the screenplays. There was only one category were we both picked incorrectly. 

But from the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, here are the official results from the 13th Annual Academy Award Guessing Games®

Best Picture - both won 

Best Director -  Mike wins

Best Actress - Blobby wins

Best Actor - both won 

Best Supporting Actress - both won 

Best Supporting Actor - both won 

Cinematography - both won

Editing - both won 

Original Screenplay -Mike wins 

Adapted Screenplay - Mike wins

Production Design - Mike wins 

International Feature - both win

Animated Feature - Blobby wins 

Animated Short - Blobby wins 

Documentary Feature - both won

Documentary Short - both lost

Live-Action Short - both won

Visual Effects - both won

Original Song - Mike wins 

Original Score - Mike wins 

Sound - Blobby wins 

Makeup and Hairstyling - Blobby wins

Costume Design - both won

Mike had 6 wins. I had 5. The rest were tied. I suppose I owe him cookies.....or perhaps some Ozempic. ...whichever is easiest to get and send. 

Song by: Roy Orbison

Guess Again

Here we are, at the 13th Annual Academy Award Guessing Games®. It's like another, different, kind of trip around the sun. One not always pleasant. Usually for me. 

I haven't done an official count over the years, but I'm feeling that Mike has bested me at this more than I him. It irked me because usually I saw more of the movies than he. This might not be the case this year. That dude sat through Scorseses 3+ hr movie. Even I wouldn't do that for a win. 

I have a hunch that Mike's husband sees most of the movies, or fully through, and fills Mike in afterwards. Though I do know we all saw Maestro and we all know how that turned out {shudder!}

We "planned" to see more of the movies o the list, but it just didn't happen. At least not before this telecast. Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda. 

We don't call it a "guessing game" for nothing.  Here we go:

Best Picture American Fiction Anatomy of a Fall Barbie The Holdovers Killers of the Flower Moon Maestro Oppenheimer Past Lives Poor Things The Zone of Interest

I'm not even sure this one is in question. I don't think Barbie would get this had Gerwig been nominated, This could be a go between the Holdovers, Poor Things (for the upset) but most likely the guy who built the bomb, and I'm not talking Bradley Cooper this time - though Maestro was a detonated POS. 

Best Actress in a Leading Role Annette Bening – Nyad Lily Gladstone – Killers of the Flower Moon Sandra Hüller – Anatomy of a Fall Carey Mulligan – Maestro Emma Stone – Poor Things 

Benning?  Nada Nyad! At best that should have been an ABC Tuesday Movie of the Week. Mulligan? Yes she was better than her co-stars, but that's like saying 'she was the nicest member of the Manson Family', but no. It's coming down to Gladstone and Stone. Here's hoping I guessed correctly. 

Best Actor in a Leading Role Bradley Cooper – Maestro Colman Domingo – Rustin Paul Giamatti – The Holdovers Cillian Murphy – Oppenheimer Jeffrey Wright – American Fiction

While I'd like it to be Giamatti - and it could be a weird upset - I think Murphy has it in the bag. Cooper can keep on dreaming. He shouldn't have even gotten a nomination. I'm sure Pauley Shore was in something this year that should have him on this list instead.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role Sterling K Brown – American Fiction Robert De Niro – Killers of the Flower Moon Robert Downey Jr – Oppenheimer Ryan Gosling – Barbie Mark Ruffalo – Poor Things 

Ruffalo should win all the awards - for just about everything he does. Ok, maybe not Hulk. Ryan, while still adorable, I'm not sure he should even be in this cohort. Not this time. RJD is getting this. 

Best Actress in a Supporting Role Emily Blunt – Oppenheimer Danielle Brooks – The Color Purple America Ferrera – Barbie Jodie Foster – Nyad Da’Vine Joy Randolph – The Holdovers

No one else in this category has won in other award shows. Ferrera did a fine job and I'm glad she's getting work. Foster was the second best thing in Nyad.  Benning was not the first. 

Best Director Justine Triet – Anatomy of a Fall Martin Scorsese – Killers of the Flower Moon Christopher Nolan – Oppenheimer Yorgos Lanthimos – Poor Things Jonathan Glazer – The Zone of Interest 

You'd think it'd be Nolan - and it might be - but I'm guessing it's Yorgos.  Yes, this will break from best movie, but I'm sticking with it. Nolan is still paying the price for having me sit through Interstellar. Fucker!

Best Writing (Original Screenplay) Anatomy of a Fall – Justine Triet, Arthur Harari The Holdovers – David Hemingson Maestro – Bradley Cooper, Josh Singer May December – Samy Burch Past Lives – Celine Song

As much as I liked Past Lives and its originality, I think I'm going with the Holdovers. Oddly, I think it will be Anatomy of a Fall that could take me down. ....though Maestro was extremely bad - and that's original. 

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay) American Fiction – Cord Jefferson Barbie – Greta Gerwig, Noah Baumbach Oppenheimer – Christopher Nolan Poor Things – Tony McNamara The Zone of Interest – Jonathan Glazer 

I really want Gerwig to get this due to her director snub. And honestly, the female voting body might do just that due to that. That said, I'm going with a WWII upset. 

Best International Feature Film Io Capitano Perfect Days Society of the Snow The Teachers' Lounge The Zone of Interest 

Best Animated Feature Film The Boy and the Heron Elemental Nimona Robot Dreams Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Didn't Spidey win a year or two ago? I'm tired of the webslinger. So. Very. Tired. 

Best Documentary Feature Bobi Wine: The People’s President The Eternal Memory Four Daughters To Kill a Tiger 20 Days in Mariupol 

There is no good follow-up to My Year of Dicks, so if Mike wins, I don't know what t-shirt I'd get him this year. If the one movie here was Blobby Wine, I'd know what he'd be getting......and choosing not to wear. No one wants to wear a shirt from the Ukrainian war.....at least not ironically. 

Best Film Editing Anatomy of a Fall The Holdovers Killers of the Flower Moon Oppenheimer Poor Things

I've seen one of these. One.  ....and it wasn't the one I picked. 

Best Cinematography El Conde Killers of the Flower Moon Maestro Oppenheimer Poor Things 

A colour movie that looks makes you think in black & white. Sepia tones. People eat that shit up. I'm too tired to get yet another dig at Maestro. 

Best Music (Original Score) American Fiction Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny Killers of the Flower Moon Oppenheimer Poor Things

I want Robbie Robertson to get this posthumously. He's scored like 10 movies for Marty, let Robbie get this one. I'm sure John Williams doesn't need another Oscar (I'm assuming he did Indiana Jones). Robertson was partial Native American, I'm guessing he did a great job on this. Of course, it could be bias, but that is exactly what awards shows are. 

Best Music (Original Song) “The Fire Inside” – Flamin’ Hot “I’m Just Ken” – Barbie (Mark Ronson, Andrew Wyatt) “It Never Went Away” – American Symphony Wahzhazhe (A Song for My People) – Killers of the Flower Moon “What Was I Made For?” – Barbie (Billie Eilish O’Connell, Finneas O’Connell) 

Ellish won last year - and it's not really singing. Moving on. Dua Lipa's "Dance the Night" from Barbie should have been up for this more than "I'm Just Ken". "The Fire Inside" is what I get after eating dinner at Mike's, so, he might pick that.  I don't know IF "Ken" will win, but I want him too - even though Gosling didn't write it. 

Best Sound The Creator Maestro Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Oppenheimer The Zone of Interest 

Oh, I laugh and laugh and laugh at Maestro even getting a nod for this. The sound and mixing were horrible, at best! Cooper's wrist must have carpal tunnel from all the handjobs he had to give to get this nomination. Oppenheimer has no actual Enola Gay bomb-dropping, you gotta believe it would have had great sound. 

Best Visual Effects The Creator Godzilla Minus One Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Napoleon 

Sometimes you just want to root for the big lizard. ....and no, this time I don't mean Mike. Actually, I've heard good things about Godzilla. 

Best Production Design Barbie Killers of the Flower Moon Napoleon Oppenheimer Poor Things 

It was lots of pink and cool Mojo Dojo Casa Houses. 

Best Costume Design Barbie Killers of the Flower Moon Napoleon Oppenheimer Poor Things 

I'm just going by some of the clothes I've seen Ruffalo and Stone wearing. 

Best Makeup and Hairstyling Golda Maestro Oppenheimer Poor Things Society of the Snow 

I see that whomever made Leonard Bernstein's nose got in here. You gotta believe Golda's was better But much like the reason for the above category, I'm going that way. 

Best Animated Short Film Letter to a Pig Ninety-Five Senses Our Uniform Pachyderme War is Over! Inspired by the Music of John & Yoko 

I'm no fan of John & Yoko's song, but the trailer was gripping to me. More so than the others.  I'm making assumptions Mike will say something about Letter to a Pig and emails that come my way. 

Best Live Action Short Film The After Invincible Night of Fortune Red, White and Blue The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar 

I dunno. It's the only one I saw - and I liked it immensely. And it might be the only way Wes Anderson gets an Oscar. 

Best Documentary Short Film The ABCs of Book Banning The Barber of Little Rock Island in Between The Last Repair Shop Nai Nai and Wai Po

Oh, those crazy Hollywood liberals!

Well, there you have it. I guess we'll all find out on Tuesday to see the results. I think this year we settled on winner getting cookies. Mike can even make it easier and just box up all the Thin Mints he has stored in the guest bedroom. He doesn't even have to bake. 

Song by: Jeff Tweedy

I'm Just Ken

The Academy Awards is still a month and a half away - which means Mike's and my 13th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®  is a month and a half away too. 

I could have sworn it was the 14th. I even told him so. 45 days seems like an eternity, mostly because of "the controversy" (you have to sing that last word like Prince though. 

I sent Mike the ballot two days ago, giving him plenty of time to make his picks. Though some were made for us with the snubs of Greta Gerwig and Margo Robbie for director and actress respectively. Both still have nominations for screenplay and best picture respectively. 

The Academy might (?) have it out for Gerwig. She didn't get a win (though a nod) for direction with Lady Bird a few years back - nor did she deserve one for the 114th version of Little Women a year or so ago. They did nominate a number of Best Picture entries that were directed by women. Only the director of Anatomy of a Fall has a vagina. 

And you know, Gerwig can't even talk smack about the snub for fear of retribution. The joke is, Ken can - and did......because......patriarchy. 

Good for Ryan.......or his publicist.

Putting this out there doesn't hurt him, as he isn't even in the top 3-4 of the 5 performances on the nominee list, as much as I like him and enjoyed his performance. Though he just might have gotten every female voting member to come to his side, so who knows. 

But back to the Best Picture nominees. Of the 10, three of them are directed by women, only one being giving a director slot. 

I know most of the Academy is made of old white men, but Scorsese (an old white man)........again?  Mike called the watching of the Flower Moon thingy the longest week of his life. Even I gotta give him props for even attempting it. Ricky Gervais made a joke a few years about about Scorsese's Irishmen and it's length by saying they'd show a clip of it - but it's 88 minutes. 

I think it just comes down to misogyny. 

Barbie was the most successful movie of the year, not necessarily the best. I get that. Gerwig can flip off the Academy if she chooses. Over a billion $$ made, she's claimed her victory - and the right to make almost anything else she wants due to it. But that kind of success doesn't come without talent. 

....to that point, the Academy knows pseudo talent when they see it: Bradley Cooper didn't get a director nomination for his shit-fest. 

Song by: Ryan Gosling

My Eyes are T-Shirts

Never let it be said that I don't pay my debts.................eventually. 

I'm sure I still owe a few someones out there a few somethings. Probably cash. Or coke. 

Last week, I said Mike and I had not discussed any type of prize for The 12th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®   I believe he could have just basked in the glory by itself, but that wasn't really gonna do. 

During the broadcast - at least the part for which I stayed awake - I looked for a prize. And found one. Unfortunately, he found the item as well, which I hoped he would not. He just didn't know it would be the win from our contest. 

As you may remember, we had some good, albeit brief, fun with the Animated Short section. I went with the winner. Mike went with My Year of Dicks.......as I knew he would, as he is predictable that way. 

Upon his win, the next day I contacted Mike's much better half and requested a verification on his shirt size.  I won't divulge it here, as you know how people are about their body size. That's only between his WW coach or every carny on the East coast. ......or Carnie Wilson.....and him.  And me. 

I mean, had the Whale been nominated for Best Pic, just to fuck with him, I'd have gotten him the  XXXXXXXXXXXXL.  I mean, if they're not selling those then what is the point of My 600 lb Life (possibly my autobiography title) and shows like it? 

Ordering didn't go as planned. The site started off with the billing address..........and then it turns out, no shipping address They assume, if you bought it, you want it. 

You know what I didn't want?  To get the shirt and have to go to the fucking post office.............for Mike. Well, for anyone. It's just fun to get in that specific jab. The order, the site, nothing, had any contact information. I didn't even get a confirmation email that might have had the 4-1-1- on where I could reach out to someone. 

Luckily, they have a Twitter handle (which doesn't work for me, since I dumped Elon months back) and one for InstaGram. I reached out via the latter. 

First off, yay they're giving the profits to Texas reproductive rights. I'm going with the baby arm in the title image that maybe their film has something to do with a woman's body not being ruled by white men in government. 

Secondly......Secret Admirer situation !!!  Is it a 'situation'?  Is it 'secret'?   I suppose it could be a situation, but 'admirer' seems like a lot. And I mean, a LOT.  For some reason I upper-cased the F in 'friend'. Isn't that enough? 

Thirdly........I'm part of Team Dicks!   ....and unlike most teams, I didn't even get picked last for this one!! Heck, I might even be able to make team captain..............or at least 'ball boy'.     ......see what I did there??

Naturally, Mike knows this will be a post. Well he knows there IS a post. He can only guess at the content....to a degree. He asked me to be kind.  Actually, he said "If you can't be mind (not MY typo!), at least be funny". 

I promised the latter only. I think I did ok. 

I will await tales of his wearing it to the mall and to Sunday dinner at his mother's house. I'm guessing one more martini and he'll care less and less about where he wears it. 

My debt is paid, even though technically I didn't have one. He won. He deserved it. And unlike the Armie Hammer phone case, hopefully the shirt's creators won't turn into cannibals. 

Song by: Matt Berninger

One

Let's drag out this post, like they drag out the Oscars. 

Can we first critique Mike's comments? 

I get he was in a different time zone when he wrote them, but it only got one laugh from me. Mind you, it was a big one. The thought of Dame Judi Dench saying "My Year of Dicks" almost made me snort.  

And for the umpteenth year in a row he signs in as "anonymous".  I suppose "Deep Throat" was taken - and maybe the name doesn't apply to him, you'd have to ask around - but the sad fact of the matter this: he doesn't remember his gmail or yahoo sign-in / password. 

I'd have to go back and check, but I do believe this year is the largest gap in our selections: 11.  I want to say the most before this has been 7-8.  Usually it hovers in the 4-5 category. Those were great, because if they did those earlier in the program, I could mathematically declare the winner and go to bed, reading for details, if necessary, the next day.  

More on that in a bit. 

The show: meh. Nothing horribly exciting or horribly bad, but I'm loving Kimmel who should just host yearly. And man did he slam the audience about Will Smith. The whole security thing and violence at the awards and then said, "or do what you did last year. Nothing Maybe give him a hug afterwards".  I believe 88% of the celebs didn't get that it was at their expanse. 

My other take a way.  Lady Gag Gag.  I know we are supposed to be for trans rights, but yikes.....this dude.....

That is one severe look. 

Of course, when (s)he performed, someone took sandpaper to her face to get the layers and layers of make-up off so she could look "real" for her absolutely shiteous song from Top Gun. Sorry - it was just awful. It made "Take My Breath Away" sound like a classic. I told Mike, if she won, I was scrapping the Oscars thing - totally not worth it, and a good reason never to actually see Top Gun.   .....and why did (s)he got a 3 minute talking intro?  No one else did.  

I gotta give it to Short Round - from the acceptance speeches I saw (true, I only made it to a little after 22:00 - or like 12 awards in) he was pretty fucking good. Those acting classes are finally paying off. 

And Julia Louis Dreyfus nailed it as usual and that was as a presenter. The whole crappy Disney ad, since they own ABC, was just a big fucking turd, as was the shameless introduction like it was an award for their new Little Mermaid. All of it a cheap and embarrassing tactic for ABC and Disney. 

But as the race between Blobby and Mike goes........and of course, I hate to say it...........Mike won.  

By one. 

But one more than myself. 

I did myself in with the Director selection. I got cock / wishful that it wouldn't be the Daniels. I lost that bet. I lost the race. 

While I didn't think I'd lose on 'Best Song', who the actual fuck thought RRR (or whomever they are) would win? And worse, who thought Mike would pick that?  It certainly didn't help matters. 

For most of the broadcast - for which I stayed awake - we were pretty much even. And honestly, there were 11 opportunities to bust a win / loss wide open.......yet it didn't happen. A margin of one. It could have been so much worse. For one, I could have stayed up for the entire show and texted with Mike the entire time. So, in a way, he REALLY won. 

As always, since my fuck up in year one, the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe has the official tabulation below. 

Best Picture - both won

Best Director - Mike wins

Best Actress - both won

Best Actor - both won

Best Supporting Actress - Mike wins

Best Supporting Actor - both won

Cinematography - Blobby wins

Editing - both won

Original Screenplay - both won

Adapted Screenplay - Blobby won

Production Design - both lost

International Feature - both won

Animated Feature - both won

Animated Short - both lost

Documentary Feature - Mike wins

Documentary Short - both lost

Live-Action Short - Blobby wins

Visual Effects - Blobby wins

Original Song - Mike wins

Original Score - Mike wins

Sound - both win

Makeup and Hairstyling - both lost

Costume Design - both lost

I'm guessing he never gets this far in the post where I remind folks to look at the title image. Honestly, I can't believe the man even talks to me.

Perhaps there will be 13th year of this nonsense.  

Song by: Three Dog Night

Playing to Win

It is THAT time. The time of year of which none of you are waiting..........or in which you never participate. The 12th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®     

It's a horse race. 

That's "horse".  Say it correctly. 

Lord, can you believe Mike and I have been doing this for 12 years? And all because of a flip comment on his blog on how he "always wins the office pool" regarding the Oscars. I took the bait. He challenged. I accepted........and a dozen years later.........here we are. 

Cookies, cupcakes, phone cases, movie tickets, booze and barbs have been exchanged. I'm mostly in it for the barbs...........and the cookies. Lately, there have been no prizes for the winner, which is ok, as I'd be broke. 

Mike had to remind me that the awards were this week, which means I had to do the work of the ballot and getting it to him. Mind you, as he is older, he is retired and has time on his hands. Naturally, those hands are clucthing a martini glass, but you'd still think he could have done a little of the work.    ......you'd think!!

So after I post this, he'll amend his selections to end up beating me by like 2-3 categories. Normally, we try to be witty about our selections, but we'll see. For both of us. 

Yearly, I fight choosing what will win versus what I think should win. I know this going in and I still go with the what should.........hence all my losses to secondest bestest dad to Ollie. 

Let's get this over with.......shall we? 

Best Picture “All Quiet on the Western Front” “Avatar: The Way of Water” “The Banshees of Inisherin” “Elvis” “Everything Everywhere All at Once” “The Fabelmans” “Tár” “Top Gun: Maverick” “Triangle of Sadness” “Women Talking”

Honestly, I don't even think this one is a contest, is it?  The movie is a LOT, but at least it doesn't have Tom Cruise in it. 

Best Director Martin McDonagh, “The Banshees of Inisherin” Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, “Everything Everywhere All at Once” Steven Spielberg, “The Fabelmans” Todd Field, “Tár” Ruben Ostlund, “Triangle of Sadness” 

Yes, I'm bucking the Daniels. I am. This category alone might cause me to lose, but I'll do it in good conscience. While Banshees was sometimes figuratively painful to watch, it was beautifully written and shot. 

Best Actress Cate Blanchett, “Tár” Ana de Armas, “Blonde” Andrea Riseborough, “To Leslie” Michelle Williams, “The Fabelmans” Michelle Yeoh, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”

C'mon. You know it's gonna be the Crouching Tiger; Leaping Lizards lady. She was great. 

Best Actor Austin Butler, “Elvis” Colin Farrell, “The Banshees of Inisherin” Brendan Fraser, “The Whale” Paul Mescal, “Aftersun” Bill Nighy, “Living”

Full disclosure: did not see the Whale. If you want to see Fraser in something good, he's in like a 4-5 episode arc of Scrubs from like 18 years ago. Butler was semi-fine, but not win-worthy though I could easily lose this one. Honestly, I originally voted for Farrell, but decided I wanted to win. I still hope Farrell wins. 

Best Supporting Actress Angela Bassett, “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” Hong Chau, “The Whale” Kerry Condon, “The Banshees of Inisherin” Jamie Lee Curtis, “Everything Everywhere All at Once” Stephanie Hsu, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”

Condon has pulled off this award at other shows. BAFTA, Golden Globes - though she had that in the bag, as she's foreign herself.  I know the money is on Curtis and personally I like her, but I don't quite get the praise for her in Everything. She was fine. And that's it.  Stephanie Hsu however has NOT be recognized at any award show and she may have been the best part of Everything. 

Best Supporting Actor Brendan Gleeson, “The Banshees of Inisherin” Brian Tyree Henry, “Causeway” Judd Hirsch, “The Fabelmans” Barry Keoghan, “The Banshees of Inisherin” Ke Huy Quan, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”

Yeah, Quan was SUPER annoying as Short Round in the shiteous second Indiana Jones movie- second in annoyance to Kate Capshaw - who fucked her way right to the top. But his racistly named Waymond, is what helped some very confused viewers (read: me) figure out the semi-entire multi-verse thing going on in the movie.  I'm also having a hard time with Gleeson being listed as Supporting here. He was def, co-lead of Banshees. 

Cinematography “All Quiet on the Western Front” “Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths” “Elvis” “Empire of Light” “Tár”

I did not see Quiet. Honestly, until the awards were announced I didn't even know they remade this. But I heard people liked it and somehow people love cinematography with war movies. Elvis had its moments for sure, but Luhrmann didn't do much new he hasn't done with all of his over the top visual movies 

Editing “The Banshees of Inisherin” “Elvis” “Everything Everywhere All at Once” “Tár” “Top Gun: Maverick” 

I'm surprised there are other nominees. A few months ago I lamented on how a filmmaker gets things to screen from a vision. Everything baffles me on every level on how they sold it, let alone made it. Editing doesn't even begin to tell of all the work that had to go in to piece this together. But this editor(s) deserves the award.....and then some. 

Original Screenplay “The Banshees of Inisherin” “Everything Everywhere All at Once” “The Fabelmans” “Tár” “Triangle of Sadness” 

Triangle of Sadness sounds like Mike's relationship with me and gin.  .....not in that order, I might add. It's hardly original. While I want to go with Banshees, I am leaning towards not. Everything isn't adapted, but I'm not sure it's original either. 

Adapted Screenplay “All Quiet on the Western Front” “Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery” “Living” “Top Gun: Maverick” “Women Talking” 

Well, it IS Women's History MONTH!.  They should get something!   ....or at least 73% of something. 

 Production Design “All Quiet on the Western Front” “Avatar: The Way of Water” “Babylon” “Elvis” “The Fabelmans”

Sure. Why the hell not? 

International Feature “All Quiet on the Western Front,” Germany “Argentina, 1985,” Argentina “Close,” Belgium “EO,” Poland “The Quiet Girl,” Ireland 

Quiet isn't winning the big best picture category, so it's gonna pull a Roma and win other category to which they were nominated.  This one. 

 

Animated Feature “Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio” “Marcel the Shell With Shoes On” “Puss in Boots: The Last Wish” “The Sea Beast” “Turning Red” 

Artsy Fartsy director meets a story most people think they know. 

Animated Short “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse” “The Flying Sailor” “Ice Merchants” “My Year of Dicks” “An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It”

Listen, I think we all know Mike is gonna pick the "My Year of Dicks".......just because of the title. Yeahhhh.....that's it.  But how are we not rooting for the Ostrich title?   I'd have picked the Dicks one too........if it were 'Years'. Plural. 

Documentary Feature “All That Breathes” “All the Beauty and the Bloodshed” “Fire of Love” “A House Made of Splinters” “Navalny”

Honestly, watching the trailers for all of these, most seem worth of the prize. I think the sentimental will be Splinters, as it's about the Ukraine. But I'm all about Bloodshed.  Fire of Love looks great.  

Documentary Short “The Elephant Whisperers” “Haulout” “How Do You Measure a Year?” “The Martha Mitchell Effect” “Stranger at the Gate” 

Who doesn't love a story about an ex-marine who went to blow up a mosque? Tale as old as time. 'Murica!

Live-Action Short “An Irish Goodbye” “Ivalu” “Le Pupille” “Night Ride” “The Red Suitcase”

I have nothing in which to back this up. The trailer looked good and it won the BAFTA prize and the Brits HATE Ireland, so...........it MUST be good. 

Visual Effects “All Quiet on the Western Front” “Avatar: The Way of Water” “The Batman” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” “Top Gun: Maverick” 

I suppose Cameron & Co should get something for an 11 year wait and taking in two billion dollars. 

Original Song “Applause” (“Tell It Like a Woman”) “Hold My Hand” (“Top Gun: Maverick”) “Lift Me Up” (“Black Panther: Wakanda Forever”) “Naatu Naatu” (“RRR”) “This Is a Life” (“Everything Everywhere All at Once”) 

I have seen one of these movies - and if I've heard any of these songs, it's been unknowingly.....but, you know....Super Bowl star Rihanna is on this one (I think).  Or Rhianna. I know it's not Rhiannon. So that alone is a win............for me!

Original Score “All Quiet on the Western Front” “Babylon” “The Banshees of Inisherin” “Everything Everywhere All at Once” “The Fabelmans”

I'll assume the Fablemans was done by John Williams. ...and he has like 17 of these statues. Literally no one saw Babylon and the few who might have (and I'm talking the reviewers) didn't like it.  Once again, I'm going with Banshees. I don't remember the music at all, save for some pub songs - minus a finger or five. 

Sound “All Quiet on the Western Front” “Avatar: The Way of Water” “The Batman” “Elvis” “Top Gun: Maverick” 

I dunno.  Jet noises?

Makeup and Hairstyling “All Quiet on the Western Front” “The Batman” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” “Elvis” “The Whale” 

The pomade bill alone was a good chunk of the budget. 

Costume Design “Babylon” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” “Elvis” “Everything Everywhere All at Once” “Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris”

I kind of want Mrs. Harris to take this. We wanted to see the movie, but missed the window. I'm sure it's streaming somewhere. 

So, the choices are locked in.  

Mike will make fun of me for not staying up for the show. Hell, I'm up at 04:00, and the show is only ending like 2.5 hours before that. I know it won't make me beautiful, but I do need some beauty sleep. 

I'm sure we'll recap this on Tuesday. Hopefully with me as the winner. 

Song by: Little River Band

Hit Me With You Best Shot

Ouch. 

Let's just go with "ouch!".  

Blobby got spanked, and not in that good way. 

......and not in the way that Chris Rock did either.  

Christ - you go to bed early and really miss the "good" things.   GIRL FIGHT!!!    ...and as I pointed out to Mike the following morning, "I don't mean you and me". 

Honestly, if I have to pick sides - and I do - I'm siding with Rock. 

Smith proves he is a Karen. A faux one at that.........so maybe still just a Karen. He laughed at a joke about his wife, until his wife had to tell him it wasn't funny and then, and only then, did he "spring" into "action". He's a hypocrite. But more importantly, we are now at the point in society where a joke or statement - at an event that thrives on jokes and statements - begets violence. 

Smith is a MAGA Karen. 

I don't know who earlier in the evening cracked the joke of Smith's and his wife's "open" marriage, but they both laughed at that. Apparently, alopecia is NOT a laughing matter. 

And here is the thing on that. Reports AFTER the fact, that allegedly Jada Pinkett Smith has discussed her alopecia before and it's a well known fact that she has it.   That is IF YOU EVER READ ANYTHING ABOUT JADA PINKETT SMITH.   .....which I'm guessing 99.92% of the population of any and all nations do not. 

The joke is kind of on Rock, when he cracked wise about GI Jane II.   ....as if Piknett Smith could ever carry that would-be horrible piece of cinema.  Smith was grandstanding and showboating, plain and simple. He wasn't standing up for his wife, since she had to tell him to do it in the first place. Dude, tallies for the awards were already finished, don't do an encore when no one asked for one. 

Still.........the violence without consequences and disproportionate to the joke. 

Oh - and a slap! A SLAP.  Didn't this dude play Ali a few years ago?  Maybe he's gearing up to play Alexis Carrington Colby in his next feature film. If he had then thrown Rock into a wading pond afterwards, it would have been spot on. 

Ok - I'm done with that shit. Let's talk about MY beat down. Well, Mike's beat down OF me. 

According to the verified results of the CPA firm Dewy, Cheatem & Howe, Papa Mike won handily (see what I did there???  did ya?  did ya??).

I didn't go back and tally per se, but this might have been the farthest off on what we picked that did not match up.  And that courage got him the win.  

Let's be up front though: I saw two of the movies here - two! - and that's still more than Mike saw. Yes, his husband saw Belfast, so I supposed he saw a movie adjacent, because you know they discussed it over drinks. Well, Peter did. Mike pretended to listen as he swirled his olives mindlessly around the glass. 

Still, it's called the 11th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®  for a reason: guessing. He probably went on research while I went on instinct. I had some logic, but I still go with emotion. I knew that Rock Em Sock Em Smith was going to win, yet still could not abide highlighting him in red as the winner. 

Really - yes, you had Smith and Rock..........and what seems to be a sad sad sad Liza* (really, how many knee and hip replacements can one person have!?!), and the "stars", but the night belonged to Dune. Not the audience-facing folks but the ones who actually make the movie a movie.  Good for them. Now I need to see if it's still on HBO. 

Congrats to Mike. And I mean it.  And congrats to me. I remembered last year I got him FOUR bottles of gin. so technically I pre-paid my debt this year and for the next two to come!

As DC&H, CPA insists, below are the categories and the winners. I only selected two winners which Mike did not. He selected seven (!!!!) that I did not. He bested me: fair and square. 

Best Picture - Mike won

Actor in a Leading Role - both Mike won

Actor in a Supporting Role - both won

Actress in a Leading Role - Blobby won

Actress in a Supporting Role - both won

Animated Feature Film - both won

Cinematography - both lost

Costume Design - Blobby won

Directing - both won

Documentary (Feature) - Mike won

Documentary (Short Subject) - Mike won

Film Editing - both lost

International Feature - both won

Film Makeup and Hairstyling - both 

Music (Original Score) - both won

Music (Original Song) - Mike won

Production Design - both won

Short Film (Animated) - both lost

Short Film - Mike won

Sound - both won

Visual Effects - Mike won

Writing (Adapted Screenplay) - Mike won

Writing (Original Screenplay) - both lost

*I was trying to craft a comparison of Mike to Liza, as he is older than I, but then that would put me square in the middle of a Blobby to Gaga comparison, and I could not bring myself to do that. Liza doing "Single Ladies" in Sex and the City II, is SO cringe worthy, I insist you click here.....and watch the entire thing. (That said, she is brilliant in Arrested Development.)

Song by: Pat Benatar   

Second Guessing

 

Oh my - it is THAT time. The 11th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®

First off, it's hard to believe Mike and I have been at this 11 years. It's hard to believe we've been friends for longer.  Sorry......."friends".  First "blog friends", then "friends friends". 

Quotes must be attributed, as I think he'd think I was suffocating him with my attention. He prefers that he keeps me at arm's length. I get it.  I'm a lot. 

Like last year, I wasn't sure we'd do this. Covid still reigned during the last year film releases. Anything I saw, it was on the small screen - and while several, if not all, were out in some fashion on streaming, I did not take the initiative.  So the 'guessing' from the title totally applies. 

Neither Mike nor I have discussed prizes.  Last year, I he got a bottom of Bombay Safire Gin. Hand delivered by me, I might add!  He might hope he does not win this year, as he might prefer me now showing up in person. 

......btw......find someone you looks at you the way Mike looks at me!

 Now......on with the game!!!

Best Picture BELFAST CODA DON'T LOOK UP DRIVE MY CAR DUNE KING RICHARD LICORICE PIZZA NIGHTMARE ALLEY THE POWER OF THE DOG WEST SIDE STORY 

It's got 'dog' right in the title, so I'm sure it's cute.  Actually, I'm not big on westerns or the idea of tearing down homos - in the west or otherwise. I don't even know that they do, but the previews seemed to lean that way. But it's art. West Side Story is commerce. King Richard is just out and out Oscar baiting. It could easily be CODA too......but it's ok, but not Oscar ok. 

Actor in a Leading Role Javier Bardem Benedict Cumberbatch Andrew Garfield Will Smith Denzel Washington 

Honestly, I think Smith has the odds, but I just can't pick him, even if it means losing to Mike. I have found him less than appealing in every.single.thing. he has ever done. Smith that is, not Mike.  Kind of. 

Actor in a Supporting Role Ciarán Hinds Troy Kotsur Jesse Plemons J.K. Simmons Kodi Smit-McPhee

Kotsur was the heart of CODA, one of the few movies I've seen.  

Actress in a Leading Role Jessica Chastain Olivia Colman Penélope Cruz Nicole Kidman Kristen Stewart 

Colman, Cruz Kidman have one already. But the Ricardos? Puh-Leese.  I'm still not convince Stewart can act, so Jessica wins!

Actress in a Supporting Role Jessie Buckley Ariana DeBose Judi Dench Kirsten Dunst Aunjanue Ellis 

I mean.............sure? 

Animated Feature Film ENCANTO FLEE LUCA THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON 

We've had this discussion over these 11 years. You don't fuck with Disney. Well....unless you're the Florida governor. And you don't fuck with Disney when they put out an ethnically based movie. 

Cinematography DUNE NIGHTMARE ALLEY THE POWER OF THE DOG THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH WEST SIDE STORY 

West. Desert. Plains. Expanses. Lighting - natural and otherwise. 

Costume Design CRUELLA CYRANO DUNE NIGHTMARE ALLEY WEST SIDE STORY 

Well, Dune is no Barbarella, (well, I assume - as I never saw it) so I'm going for a curve here. I saw the previews of what Emma Stone wore. 

Directing BELFAST DRIVE MY CAR LICORICE PIZZA THE POWER OF THE DOG WEST SIDE STORY 

Campion will be champion. 

Documentary (Feature) ASCENSION ATTICA FLEE SUMMER OF SOUL (...OR, WHEN THE REVOLUTION COULD NOT BE TELEVISED) WRITING WITH FIRE 

It won't win best International, but it's nominated thrice (best animation too), so maybe it'll win something? 

Documentary (Short Subject) AUDIBLE LEAD ME HOME THE QUEEN OF BASKETBALL THREE SONGS FOR BENAZIR WHEN WE WERE BULLIES 

More deaf stuff.   I said: MORE DEAF STUFF. 

Film Editing DON'T LOOK UP DUNE KING RICHARD THE POWER OF THE DOG TICK, TICK...BOOM! 

I don't know. Why not? 

International Feature Film DRIVE MY CAR FLEE THE HAND OF GOD LUNANA: A YAK IN THE CLASSROOM THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD 

You loved the Beatles song, now love the movie not actually based on the Beatles song 

Makeup and Hairstyling COMING 2 AMERICA CRUELLA DUNE THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE HOUSE OF GUCCI 

I want to say Dune will take it, but you gotta figure it was a LOT of hair and make-up for Tammy.

Music (Original Score) DON'T LOOK UP DUNE ENCANTO PARALLEL MOTHERS THE POWER OF THE DOG 

Han Zimmer! Who doesn't love Han Zimmer??

Music (Original Song) "Be Alive" from KING RICHARD Music and Lyric by DIXSON and Beyoncé Knowles-Carter "Dos Oruguitas" from ENCANTO Music and Lyric by Lin-Manuel Miranda "Down To Joy" from BELFAST Music and Lyric by Van Morrison "No Time To Die" from NO TIME TO DIE Music and Lyric by Billie Eilish and Finneas O'Connell "Somehow You Do" from FOUR GOOD DAYS Music and Lyric by Diane Warren 

Honestly, I don't care who wins as long as it ain't Beyonce (no accent). 

Production Design DUNE NIGHTMARE ALLEY THE POWER OF THE DOG THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH WEST SIDE STORY 

the future!!!  someone's gotta design it. 

Short Film (Animated) AFFAIRS OF THE ART BESTIA BOXBALLET ROBIN ROBIN THE WINDSHIELD WIPER 

So nice, they named it twice. 100% shot in the dark. 

Short Film (Live Action) ALA KACHUU - TAKE AND RUN THE DRESS THE LONG GOODBYE ON MY MIND PLEASE HOLD 

101% shot in the dark. 

Sound BELFAST DUNE NO TIME TO DIE THE POWER OF THE DOG WEST SIDE STORY 

I'm assuming Belfast just has lots of car bomb noises, Dog, lots of cattle noises, and West Side Story, a lot of finger clicking noises.....cool......go......crazy!  Dune probably has futuristic shit they have to get across. 

Visual Effects DUNE FREE GUY NO TIME TO DIE SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME 

Everyone loved this movie. So, maybe? Even money that it's Dune, but.........finger's crossed. 

Writing (Adapted Screenplay) CODA DRIVE MY CAR DUNE THE LOST DAUGHTER THE POWER OF THE DOG 

I dunno - if it pisses Sam Elliot off, I'm ok with this. I liked CODA, but it's kinda been done before, but without all of the ASL. 

Writing (Original Screenplay) BELFAST DON'T LOOK UP KING RICHARD LICORICE PIZZA THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD 

I think the analogies were there. I'm ok with this. 

As always, let the best man win. Let me it be me. I'm a running of out prize ideas of Mike. 

Official tallies to be presented here on Tuesday. 

Song by: R.E.M.