Tuesday, March 14, 2023


Let's drag out this post, like they drag out the Oscars. 

Can we first critique Mike's comments? 

I get he was in a different time zone when he wrote them, but it only got one laugh from me. Mind you, it was a big one. The thought of Dame Judi Dench saying "My Year of Dicks" almost made me snort.  

And for the umpteenth year in a row he signs in as "anonymous".  I suppose "Deep Throat" was taken - and maybe the name doesn't apply to him, you'd have to ask around - but the sad fact of the matter this: he doesn't remember his gmail or yahoo sign-in / password. 

I'd have to go back and check, but I do believe this year is the largest gap in our selections: 11.  I want to say the most before this has been 7-8.  Usually it hovers in the 4-5 category. Those were great, because if they did those earlier in the program, I could mathematically declare the winner and go to bed, reading for details, if necessary, the next day.  

More on that in a bit. 

The show: meh. Nothing horribly exciting or horribly bad, but I'm loving Kimmel who should just host yearly. And man did he slam the audience about Will Smith. The whole security thing and violence at the awards and then said, "or do what you did last year. Nothing Maybe give him a hug afterwards".  I believe 88% of the celebs didn't get that it was at their expanse. 

My other take a way.  Lady Gag Gag.  I know we are supposed to be for trans rights, but yikes.....this dude.....

That is one severe look. 

Of course, when (s)he performed, someone took sandpaper to her face to get the layers and layers of make-up off so she could look "real" for her absolutely shiteous song from Top Gun. Sorry - it was just awful. It made "Take My Breath Away" sound like a classic. I told Mike, if she won, I was scrapping the Oscars thing - totally not worth it, and a good reason never to actually see Top Gun.   .....and why did (s)he got a 3 minute talking intro?  No one else did.  

I gotta give it to Short Round - from the acceptance speeches I saw (true, I only made it to a little after 22:00 - or like 12 awards in) he was pretty fucking good. Those acting classes are finally paying off. 

And Julia Louis Dreyfus nailed it as usual and that was as a presenter. The whole crappy Disney ad, since they own ABC, was just a big fucking turd, as was the shameless introduction like it was an award for their new Little Mermaid. All of it a cheap and embarrassing tactic for ABC and Disney. 

But as the race between Blobby and Mike goes........and of course, I hate to say it...........Mike won.  

By one. 

But one more than myself. 

I did myself in with the Director selection. I got cock / wishful that it wouldn't be the Daniels. I lost that bet. I lost the race. 

While I didn't think I'd lose on 'Best Song', who the actual fuck thought RRR (or whomever they are) would win? And worse, who thought Mike would pick that?  It certainly didn't help matters. 

For most of the broadcast - for which I stayed awake - we were pretty much even. And honestly, there were 11 opportunities to bust a win / loss wide open.......yet it didn't happen. A margin of one. It could have been so much worse. For one, I could have stayed up for the entire show and texted with Mike the entire time. So, in a way, he REALLY won. 

As always, since my fuck up in year one, the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe has the official tabulation below. 

Best Picture - both won
Best Director - Mike wins
Best Actress - both won
Best Actor - both won
Best Supporting Actress - Mike wins
Best Supporting Actor - both won
Cinematography - Blobby wins
Editing - both won
Original Screenplay - both won
Adapted Screenplay - Blobby won
Production Design - both lost
International Feature - both won
Animated Feature - both won
Animated Short - both lost
Documentary Feature - Mike wins
Documentary Short - both lost
Live-Action Short - Blobby wins
Visual Effects - Blobby wins
Original Song - Mike wins
Original Score - Mike wins
Sound - both win
Makeup and Hairstyling - both lost
Costume Design - both lost

I'm guessing he never gets this far in the post where I remind folks to look at the title image. Honestly, I can't believe the man even talks to me.

Perhaps there will be 13th year of this nonsense.  

Song by: Three Dog Night


Raybeard said...

Didn't watch any part of the Oscars - as is now usual. But that totally accurate Kimmel ref about the celebs' positive reaction to the Smith jaw-cruncher of a wallop, unless I'm missing something, kudos to Jim Carrey last year for being the first to have called it out.

Old Lurker said...

I'm guessing you will owe Mike something on account of your humbling defeat?

James Dwight Williamson said...

Both Jamie Lee Curtis and Brendan Fraser won, I was very pleased. Michelle Yeoh was the most poignant.

Mike said...

Hello "Anonymous" here, checking in.

Yes, I can't remember by AOL credentials that I use to access this blog via dial-up...

Re: my comments. You know I'm not one to complain (ask anyone) but I wrote my comments on my phone so my energy and creative thinking were both limited. And i may have been enjoying a cocktail poolside while on vacation. So there's that. I am most sorry for displeasing Blobby.

In the end, I guess all that matters is who won this blasted contest. An 11-point spread in our answers -- and i end up winning by just one? Egads -- too close for comfort. I gotta step up my game a bit.

Got to the awards show about 15 minutes late so missed the opening remarks from Mr. Kimmel. but one doesn't get points for listening to comedy routines -- you get points in this game by PICKING WINNERS.

Which I (humbly) did.

Blobby and I had fun text exchanges during the ceremony -- when he wasn't in his pantry searching for his next snack -- and we both (virtually) laughed when we texted the exact same message to each other during Lady Gagagagagag's self-indulgent wind-up of her song. "JUST SING!"

One point of clarification from blobby's passive aggressive commentary above. Perhaps he left a "y" off of "cocky". And i quote:

"I got cock / wishful that it wouldn't be the Daniels."

As grandma used to say, "wishes are for fishes". But she never addressed anyone being "cock / wishful". Thank god.

Anyway -- we'll let the contest results speak for themselves.

I want to thank the Academy, my manager, and the photographer who snapped the pic of me featured at the head of Blobby's blog. I think we can all agree that red suits me.

Oh, and thanks to Blobby who creates the ballot each year and tabulates the votes, and to date (i think) has had no hanging chads or challenges from Arizona. Better luck next year -- it's been real!!