Friday, March 03, 2023

Sad Song

 I honestly hesitated to write about this, as it was just upsetting........but here goes, and somewhat stream of conciousness. 

Wednesday started off iffy. I get to work and walk in the front entrance, which I almost never do. But as I approach, almost all the lights are off. As it turns out we were running on emergency power. As it turns out, it didn't affect me. My building was fine. 

On Wednesdays, I have my 1:1 with people who report to me. At my first one, I was told another employee's son had committed suicide the night before.

He was 12. 

I'll let that sink in for a minute. 

I was devastated for his mother. I was devastated for him, and I don't even know him. It still hasn't truly sunk in. 

For the life of me, I could not (and cannot) wrap my head around the scenario in any way, shape or form. Mostly the age piece.  I cannot fathom what a kid would be going through that is so bad that the option was killing himself. 

But today's world is a big, ugly place. It probably was when I was 12 too, but save for the playground, no one bullied you. Now it's thousands of potential people all through Al Gore's world-wide-web.  Clearly, I have zero idea if that was the issue, but the endless amounts of negativity that can come in any on-line form, can make people severely depressed. And worn down. 

Hell, I've been on an anti-depressant for almost a decade. I'm not sure I could have gotten through the BLOTUS years - and since - without it. 

I keep coming back to the family. The mom. How does someone even recover from something like this?  The short answer is: they don't.  Not fully. Not possible. 

As it turns out, I had to tell a few folks, and there is seemingly no good way to ease into that conversation. I honestly tried, but without luck.  Naturally, the mood the rest of the day was not good. I pitied the folks who got in my way. I was unkind, and unapologetic. I stand by it. Annoyances of behaviour that I had tamped down in the past, I no longer did. I was CRANK-y.  I still might be. 

This is the second work-related suicide in less than two months. It turns out it's kind of brutal. 

My image - once again - is the National Suicide & Crisis Hotline. I really wish people would use it. It's so important. 

Song by: Rachel Sweet


Travel said...

Take time, take care of yourself and your team. We can change the world.

Bob said...

It's hard out there for kids with social media so important; the bullying can come at you from every direction almost non-stop.
We all need to set our devices down and listen to one another for a bit; we might see someone struggling and find a way to help.
My heart goes out to that young man's family.

Old Lurker said...

It does not surprise me at all that a 12 year old kid would suicide. That does not mean it is any easier for the families (or in this case the coworker of the family).