I'm sure I still owe a few someones out there a few somethings. Probably cash. Or coke.
Last week, I said Mike and I had not discussed any type of prize for The 12th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game® I believe he could have just basked in the glory by itself, but that wasn't really gonna do.
During the broadcast - at least the part for which I stayed awake - I looked for a prize. And found one. Unfortunately, he found the item as well, which I hoped he would not. He just didn't know it would be the win from our contest.
As you may remember, we had some good, albeit brief, fun with the Animated Short section. I went with the winner. Mike went with My Year of Dicks.......as I knew he would, as he is predictable that way.
Upon his win, the next day I contacted Mike's much better half and requested a verification on his shirt size. I won't divulge it here, as you know how people are about their body size. That's only between his WW coach or every carny on the East coast. ......or Carnie Wilson.....and him. And me.
I mean, had the Whale been nominated for Best Pic, just to fuck with him, I'd have gotten him the XXXXXXXXXXXXL. I mean, if they're not selling those then what is the point of My 600 lb Life (possibly my autobiography title) and shows like it?
Ordering didn't go as planned. The site started off with the billing address..........and then it turns out, no shipping address They assume, if you bought it, you want it.
You know what I didn't want? To get the shirt and have to go to the fucking post office.............for Mike. Well, for anyone. It's just fun to get in that specific jab. The order, the site, nothing, had any contact information. I didn't even get a confirmation email that might have had the 4-1-1- on where I could reach out to someone.
Luckily, they have a Twitter handle (which doesn't work for me, since I dumped Elon months back) and one for InstaGram. I reached out via the latter.
First off, yay they're giving the profits to Texas reproductive rights. I'm going with the baby arm in the title image that maybe their film has something to do with a woman's body not being ruled by white men in government.
Secondly......Secret Admirer situation !!! Is it a 'situation'? Is it 'secret'? I suppose it could be a situation, but 'admirer' seems like a lot. And I mean, a LOT. For some reason I upper-cased the F in 'friend'. Isn't that enough?
Thirdly........I'm part of Team Dicks! ....and unlike most teams, I didn't even get picked last for this one!! Heck, I might even be able to make team captain..............or at least 'ball boy'. ......see what I did there??
Naturally, Mike knows this will be a post. Well he knows there IS a post. He can only guess at the content....to a degree. He asked me to be kind. Actually, he said "If you can't be mind (not MY typo!), at least be funny".
I promised the latter only. I think I did ok.
I will await tales of his wearing it to the mall and to Sunday dinner at his mother's house. I'm guessing one more martini and he'll care less and less about where he wears it.
My debt is paid, even though technically I didn't have one. He won. He deserved it. And unlike the Armie Hammer phone case, hopefully the shirt's creators won't turn into cannibals.
Song by: Matt Berninger
Aw. Mike has a secret admirer. Also: you never told us he was cute!
I can think of places for that to be worn
Mike is Hot, That is all!
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