I was not even going to do an Emmy contest post this year - but when I mentioned it to Magic Mike XXS, he basically called me 'a chicken'.
I wasn't physically there, but I'm assuming he put his hands under his armpits and strutted around his abode making noises he thinks chickens make. Mostly a la Arrested Development (whose name also happens to be 'Michael').
The thought of home-baked goods (shortbread, anyone?) did intrigue me. So I'm late to getting to it, so I'll take the gamble that I'll win.
I have zero idea why - what few shows I ever have heard of in the below list, I've seen far fewer. So, this will be a 100% guessing game. While I know I should vote for things that should win, I will vote for things I want to win.......only because I don't know what should win.
I also picked "top" categories. There are 113 categories. 113 !!!! Blobby ain't got time for that.
As always, feel free to play along if you wish. None of you ever have. ...so you're just like the
OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
Game of Thrones, Mr. Robot, House of Cards, Downton Abbey, Better Call Saul, The Americans,
Because my sister likes it - and she hates everything.
OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Veep, Transparent, Modern Family, black-ish, Silicon Valley, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Master of None
Tough one. LOVE Veep. Silicon Valley is downright painfully funny to watch. Masters of None was flawless. I'm taking a gamble and going with......Master of None. It should win something. But I bet Transparent wins.
OUTSTANDING DRAMA ACTOR
Kevin Spacey (House of Cards), Rami Malek (Mr. Robot), Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul), Liev Schreiber (Ray Donovan), Kyle Chandler (Bloodline), Matthew Rhys (The Americans)
Liev Schreiber, just for his voice. Lord. Let's hope it ain't Spacey. He creeps me out. But it goes to Chandler, for his looks....and another series my sister loves, and finds herself rooting for the bad guy.
OUTSTANDING DRAMA ACTRESS
Robin Wright (House of Cards), Viola Davis (How to Get Away with Murder), Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black), Claire Danes (Homeland), Taraji P. Henson (Empire), Keri Russell (The Americans)
Because Felicity should win something in life. ....and does anyone even still watch Homeland?
OUTSTANDING COMEDY ACTOR
Jeffrey Tambor (Transparent), Anthony Anderson (black-ish), Will Forte (The Last Man on Earth,)
Thomas Middleditch (Silicon Valley), Aziz Ansari (Master of None), William H. Macy (Shameless)
It will go to the guy who wears a dress, and there will be an acceptance speech that has the words "North Carolina" in it. Aziz But I'm going to for Middleditch because is so great at playing awkward.
OUTSTANDING COMEDY ACTRESS
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep), Amy Schumer (Inside Amy Schumer), Ellie Kemper (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), Laurie Metcalf (Getting On), Tracee Ellis-Ross (black-ish), Lily Tomlin (Grace and Frankie)
Oh how I love Metcalf. And the rest are really good (maybe not Ms. Ross). But c'mon - Selina Meyer? Fucking awesome.
OUTSTANDING LIMITED SERIES
The People v. O.J. Simpson, Fargo, American Crime
Roots, The Night Manager
It will go to OJ. But I'm going for the must-see series that we still haven't.
OUTSTANDING REALITY COMPETITION
The Voice, The Amazing Race, Top Chef, Project Runway, Dancing with the Stars, American Ninja Warrior
Because it doesn't involve food, "fashion" or dancing.
OUTSTANDING TV MOVIE
All the Way, Confirmation, Luther
Sherlock: The Abominable Bride, A Very Murray Christmas
Because of the title. I'm picturing a Yeti in Vera Wang. Or at David's Bridal.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR, COMEDY
Andre Braugher (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), Ty Burrell (Modern Family), Matt Walsh (Veep), Louie Anderson (Baskets), Keegen-Michael Key (Key & Peele), Tituss Burgess (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), Tony Hale (Veep)
I kind of want Anderson to win, so he has a reason to live for the next 12 months. But Walsh is stellar in his role of Eyore. Actually, his sad sack's character is called "Mike". See a theme here?
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS, COMEDY
Niecy Nash (Getting On), Kate McKinnon (Saturday Night Live), Gaby Hoffman (Transparent), Allison Janney (Mom), Judith Light (Transparent), Anna Chlumsky (Veep)
Please let it not be Janney - again! It's become tiresome. Nash is great, but the show was never a hit, though very well done. I hope Anna wins....if nothing else than for heading up the investigation for Cuntgate....and having to say it so often in 30 minutes.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR, DRAMA
Jonathan Banks (Better Call Saul), Ben Mendelsohn (Bloodline), Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones)
Kit Harington (Game of Thrones), Michael Kelly (House of Cards), Jon Voight (Ray Donovan)
Oh I know zilch about this category. I'll just give it to this guy. He recites Blake while driving an Infiniti.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS, DRAMA
Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey), Lena Headey (Game of Thrones), Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones), Maisie Williams (Game of Thrones), Maura Tierney (The Affair), Constance Zimmer (UnREAL)
I've never seen the show, but Zimmer is bad ass in most things.
So there you have it.
Have at it Mike. Some kind of baked-good might be in Express Mail next week.
Song by: a-ha
A couple of qualifiers:
1. I have never in my life done a chicken dance. And even if I am lying, I would most certainly never “make noises” that I think a chicken makes. Appalling on every level.
2. My record at winning this competition is abysmal. I have been the loser at least twice. If I have actually lost more times than that, I’ve have erased that shame from my memory.
But here goes. I will actually be traveling way far away to the West Coast on Sunday for a business trip, and will be having dinner while the Emmy’s are playing out in real time. So I will have to rely on Blobby to calculate the winner of this contest. I will double-check his math, to be sure. But because of the time difference in our physical locations on Sunday, our usual Facebook texting (aka mocking) during this televised event will have to be put on hold until the Golden Globes.
May the best man (me) win.
Game of Thrones
Because I’ve never seen it. And it exhausts me to think about trying to catch up now. But all signs point to a domination on Emmy’s night.
Because all the cool kids say so.
Because he has a cool name.
Because I loved her in “Waitress”.
Because although Anthony Anderson might pull a surprise win (and the clips of episodes I’ve seen are really funny), I will do the politically correct thing here, even though i’ve never seen an episode of Transparent.
Because she is perfection.
The People vs. OJ Simpson
Because it’s OJ, baby….
American Ninja Warrior
Because Blobby says so. And because Survivor, which starts its 33rd season this week, was not nominated. Boo hiss
All The Way
Because you just don’t hear enough about Lyndon B. Johnson.
Supporting Actor Comedy
Because I was surprised he was still alive. And he gets points for that.
Supporting Actress Comedy
Because although I hate to bet against Allison Janney, it’s time for her to pass the torch.
Supporting Actor Drama
Because I hear that this show is pretty popular.
Supporting Actress Drama
Because I’m predicting a Game of Thrones sweep.
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