I'm Going to Make a Cake

Another reason to hit Columbus last weekend was the then soon-to-be 50th of my dear dear friend, Morty.

It was soon-to-be last Saturday. The day is actually today.

So far, nothing major is planned for Mort's half-century, but no one says it has to be on the actual day. We have 364 more to celebrate. But I wasn't going to arrive empty-handed either.

I opted to come with refined white sugar - in the form of a cake.

Being the Halloween time, I totally stole a dessert that Dr. Spo was / is going to make. He posted his intentions and I took it and ran with them.

The way I see it, we have some readership overlap, but he's three time zones away and rarely do our party paths ever cross. And by 'rarely', I mean 'never'. I feel safe I won't be stepping on any toes here. Perhaps some bruised feelings, but not toes.

I'm not much of a baker, as you've read, but this is fairly full proof and all you need is boxed cake mixes. And pre-heat the oven to 350.

That's right: mixes. Two of them. Chocolate and White. And a can of white frosting and food colouring (good stuff from craft stores). Oh - and all the crap the cake box calls for (water, oil and eggs). Boom. Done. 

For chocolate cake: mix it all and add black food colouring. 

For white cake: mix, then split evenly into two bowls. Add violet colouring in one and orange in the other. 

BTW.....food colouring really stains your hands and counters. Be careful. White vinegar will get it out - for the most part. 

Pour about 1/3 of the black batter into the greased pan (rotate as necessary)

Pour all of the orange on top of that (or purple first - your choice)

Pour all of the purple on top of that. 

Pour another 1/3 or so (maybe a little more) of black on top of that. 

Do not mix this together. Let it set on top of each other. 

You will have about 1/4 of black cake batter left. You saw I used mine to make cupcakes. Or freeze it. Or eat it with a spatula. I'm not above the last one. 

Bake at 325-350 for 40-45 minutes. 

This is almost 2 cakes in one pan....it rises to be quite large. Make sure your racks are separated enough (or removed as needed) or you'll have trouble. 

While the cake cools (out of the pan), split the white frosting into thirds. Add the same colour of FDA approved chemicals into said frosting and mix. 

Place each bowl into microwave for 10-15 seconds. It will thin out the frosting enough for you to spoon-drizzle it over your cake after you stir it some more. 

Wait 1-2 minutes between each colour drizzle, so the frosting can set-up. I actually would drizzle one, then heat the next one, giving me (and the cake) time to do just that. If you look at the title image, I probably only used 1/2 of the frosting. Then I frosted the cupcakes and rinsed the rest down the drain. 

....and then cut and eat. And hear everyone oooh and aaah over your cake. 

It's festive. It's seasonal (and I'm sure you could do white cake with red and green for xmas). I think it went over, though I totally forgot that Morty is trying to cut out sugar. So he sent me home with some of the cake, though he did take some for himself and George. 

I took the rest to my mom's house where she kept some and my brother-in-law took the rest. We still had six frosted cupcakes at home. Whereas I would have taken all of the cake home - and ate it - I didn't need it. 

So happy 50th Mort.  Love you bunches.

Hope you didn't have a sugar reaction. I mean, you're already sweet enough.



Song by:  Philip Glass