Friday, September 05, 2014

Precious Box

I swear I will get off the post-death entries here soon. Honest.

As my mother gets closer to thinking of possible memorial and interment, it is appropriate to move my father out of his cardboard box into something more presentable.

As it turns out, finding something tasteful and presentable is equal to that whole needle / haystack thing. And this isn't a price thing - it doesn't matter how much you spend. Actually, the more you spend, the f'uglier things might get.

Let's take a look, shall we?

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty. 
This is the tabby version. They have Siamese and every other cat types. 

 I'm not sure what this is. Is it just a scale to show you how big the urn is as opposed to some odd faux-Marlboro Reds tie-in. Or if this is just an urn for folks who die of cigarette related lung cancer. 

I don't even know where the ashes go in here. 

I'm not sure how this even stands up for display. It's almost worth a purchase to see how it works. 

This one almost works.  Almost. 

I'm guessing this is something the Log Lady would be put into. 

Teddy Ruxpin Urn. Trademark Pending. 
You put ashes into a bag* and find the concealed zipper in the back of the bear, and place bag in there. 

*bag not included (srsly)

Ninja Throwing Star urn?

Seems like a USS Enterprise thingy. 

If it had my dad's cocker spaniel, maybe. And maybe if you changed 'Sadie' to 'Murphy'. 

Ew.  Just ew. 

$600. I'm just sayin'. 

Ok - this is for a pet. 

My personal favourite. Burial at sea - where you cannot attend, but will get an e-voucher swearing they did what they said they'd do......and not just take your $149.99 and throw dad in the dumpster. 

So my search continues. I can guarantee it won't be anything like these. The scary thing is, these aren't even remotely the worst of what is out there. Not by a long shot. 

Song by: George Michael 


anne marie in philly said...

OMB! if these are not the worst, I would really hate to see the absolute fugly of the lot.

my FIL's ashes were placed in a brown stoneware cheese crock, maybe 6" x 6". he always liked cheese. and my MIL found it at their house, so...

and the funeral home/cemetery had no objections, so...

yeah. rural pennsylvania.

Bob said...

Wow. All kinds of fug.

I say put me in a baggie and set me out with the recycling.

Anonymous said...

I know a guy who used to be in the funeral biz, and what you do with the cremains is kind of up to you. Don't ask for permission, and quietly sprinkle them in the family plot if that appeals to you. If you ask, you'll be told "NO!" Beats "burying" them.

Ur-spo said...

Weird with a beard, as we say in my house.
My box is a proper Pacific Northwest cedar bent box.. it sits on the book shelf, waiting for me. I see it everyday to remind me of my mortality.