Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Chicks and Dicks
It's been a year since I started doing yoga with him twice a week, and now I know why. He brought me into his yoga crew possibly just so they can talk to me about him when he's not there.
Not in a bad way. It is just when he's not at class they're all, "where's David? what's he doing? when will be back?"
Sheesh. Apparently I'm his human Palm Pilot.
I almost - almost! - told them he was in Brooklyn to attend the Smallest Penis Contest.
I figured it would be payback for him telling them that months ago I hurt my hand due to excessive masturbation. Though actually, I think some other sex act with a hand was probably used, but those yoga folks are delicate ones and would never repeat it to me.
David also did send me the link to the contest, so it's possible he is up there for that. ...and if he's participating, that is so so sad. I must have gotten those genes from my mother's side of the family.
(un)Fortunately, I'd lose that contest.
But I'm lazy. As I draft this the evening before, I'm 90% sure I'm skipping my 06:00 yoga class. I'm just not in the mood. ....but that might change if I'm up at 04:30. All remains to be seen.
...unlike the winner of that contest. I don't own a magnifying glass - though there is an app for that.
Song by: Junior Senior