Friday, July 03, 2015

Shopping with Blobby

Yet another installment in the drudgery that is everyday shopping. The camera-phone makes it a bit more fun - though I get looks whenever I take pics of products. Like I care what people think!

This is actually a Shopping with Sal.

Sal - if you remember - is my friend from Philadelphia.

Honestly, the day after my last Shopping with Blobby segment, he sends me a pic of these Georgia O'Keefe cupcakes. Had he just been two days earlier, I wouldn't have been holding on to this image.

Now, you know I love my cupcakes.........but even I draw the line with these.

First off, there is just way too much frosting.  No. Seriously. There is.

This is where most cupcake establishments fail: they put everything into the frosting and the cake is secondary at best. Also, it's never that good. And the cake to frosting ratio is just way way off. I'm always bigger on the cake than the topping.

Secondly - well, there is that whole vagina thing. That's a big non-starter for me.

If I wanted to bury my face in one of those and roll my tongue around, lapping at it and eating one, I'd pretended to be straight all these year. But seriously, who is that good of an actor?

Lord knows I'm not.

And even if they are the best tasting cupcakes ever, just the visual connotations would ruin the experience for me.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the upper center one seems to have - ummm - jelly filling?  I mean, I hope that's what it is............not that I like jelly-filled things very much, but the alternatives are just too horrifying to contemplate.

I do like the chocolate jimmies. I'm assuming that is for the woman who is going native and not like the others, who do a weekly visit to Svetlana, the waxer.

Six to a box. That is just more than I can handle. Well - six more than I can handle.

Sorry - no offense to the women reading this.  But doubtful you'd be jonesing for eating a penis shaped lollipop or popsicle. Especially a cream filled one.

I can't speak for how the guys would go that.  I mean - I can. I just won't.


Raybeard said...

oh Jeez! Put the box lid down quickly - while I search the net for some more agreeable image to supplant the memory of these.

anne marie in philly said...

ew ew ew! eye bleach time! wonder which philly bakery made these monstrosities?

now if a "penis shaped lollipop or popsicle. Especially a cream filled one" were to appear here - YEAH BABY YEAH! penis-shaped twinkies! I'd eat one!

and you said "jimmies", not "sprinkles" - THANK YOU!

Raybeard said...

Re your second point, A.M.: Now you're talking! I'd want to see how many I could cram into my mouth at the same time, holding the moment for as long as poss before the cream splurged out.

Fearsome Beard said...

Thank you for sharing ... Um... But... No.

Bob said...

Had I seen those in a shop it would have been my last visit.
Who in their right mind wants a vagina near their mouth?

anne marie in philly said...

@raybeard - I would pay good money to see THAT! :)

Raybeard said...

A.M., I'd pay good money to DO that! Ah, if only! :-)

Ur-spo said...

I normally don't eat sweets and I agree with the too much frosting notion.
So that lets me off.

Erik Rubright said...

I'd totally stick a firecracker in each one and watch them explode. In slow-motion. :D