Thursday, July 23, 2015

Boris the Spider

I was preparing dinner on Monday when I felt a pain on the back of my hand.

I assumed I had been careless and shredded skin when I passed it over something sharp or something of the likes.

As it really started to hurt, I finally looked at it - which I hadn't bothered to do before. There it was. A bump. A fairly small bump at that.

It hurt too much, and didn't yet itch, so I ruled mosquito bite out pretty early on. I had encountered no bees of which I know, so I assumed - and that's all it could be, an assumption - it to be a spider bite.

And people complain of spider bites all the time. I guess the question is - no one ever seems to actually see a spider, let alone see it bite them. I supposed these arachnids could be getting a bum rap, but I think they aren't.

The pain was annoying, but me being me, did nothing about it, save wash my hands a dozen times. I think before bed, I put on hydrocortisone cream, just to keep it from stinging so much. I'm not sure it did a thing.

By the time I woke up on Tuesday, It was almost impossible for me to make a fist. That was a bummer, because I was going for the Welter Weight title that very afternoon!

Seriously though.......bending or stretching my hand was extremely difficult and somewhat painful. And just annoying. You don't realize how often you use those muscles until you can't. And no, I wasn't deprived of self-love.......I'm a leftie...if it ever comes to that.

Still - what's a boy to do? most men in healthcare: hope it will go away.

Well, I did some quick research online because 710 goes (well, via text), 'what if it's cellulitis?'. Cellulitis is a thing in his family, so he didn't want me to be on that train.

WebMD said to elevate the hand, to which 710 asked if I was doing the Queen Elizabeth Heil Hitler maneuver. I was not. And you can really only elevate a hand for so long as you go about your day. It's not realistic. I didn't do ice on it either. But I did take a Benadryl Wal-Dryl.

Not only did the medication do nothing really to relieve my symptoms, I later found that my arm hurt from elbow to wrist. I figured that can't be good.  Still, I did nothing about it.

Power through - I say.

I don't know that is the right or wrong answer, it's just the approach I took.

A little after dinner on Tuesday evening, I took another Wal-Dryl and some ibuprofen.

I woke yesterday in better shape. The pain was less, the swelling was down, almost no itching and I can contract and expand my hand. I think all is right with the world.

It was only before drafting this did I have a light bulb go off. I bought grapes on Monday and reached in to clip off a bunch, so I could wash and eat them. You always hear about spiders and such being stuck in produce that is shipped from g-d knows where. I'm guessing whatever was in that bag - and you know it was a Brown Recluse! - is where I obtained my bite.

But I suppose I'm immune to a spider's bite and all their venom - or whatever poison they put in my system.

Great. Now I'm hungry for grapes.

Song by: the Who


anne marie in philly said...

poor old mister spider!

what are we going to do with you, blobby? why are men so stubborn when it comes to healthcare?

Anonymous said...

i bet it was this:

Bob said...

I was feeling your pain, literally; I'm a hypochondriac like that.

Thankfully I got to the last line and my Fake Hand Pain went away when I started to laugh!

Morty said...

Welter Weight - as if!

Fearsome Beard said...

A lefty?
Am I some sort of freak that lefties turn me on?

Unknown said...