Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Menace

Like South Carolina doesn't have enough troubles.   ....and in no particular order.....

  • Ms. Lindsey Graham
  • Hate Crime Shootings in a Charleston church
  • Confederate Flags hoo-ha
  • Mark Sanford and his bag of lies
  • Bob from I Should be Laughing (I kid....I kid...)

I'm beginning to think this all has something to do with the Dark Side of the Force.

The lack of talent actor - who did very little before appearing as young Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars, Episode 1: the Phantom Menace, and who has done almost nothing since (and rightfully so) - made "news" by getting arrested for speeding and a high speed chase through Charleston, SC, along with evading police.

Apparently, Jake Lloyd thought his Nissan Maxima was in some kind of Podrace and that I-95 is miraculously somehow on Tatooine.

Perhaps, the young Padawan had a vision of a church shooting and was going there to use the force stop it - or to maybe lend his light saber to Dylann Roof so he could cut them all down, as young Skywalker would do himself to the Jedi council.

He gave into his hate and used his gas pedal as his weapon. Like most everything the elder Skywalker did - it ultimately ended in utter failure.

To be fair (?) to Lloyd, he is one of a slew of 'child actors' gone bad, but he waited 16 years to get there. That shows restraint. Or was just hoping to show up on TMZ.

Mission: Accomplished!

Qui-Gon Jinn got it wrong long ago in a galaxy far far away (fuck, it would have been epic had Lloyd been arrested driving a Ford Galaxy....or Ford Falcon) with Anakin being too old to train as a Jedi and there was something off about the boy. He didn't listen when he should have. Had he, we would have been spared some truly horrible prequels.

Of course, we shouldn't overlook the chance that Ani was chasing his elusive "career", but there were no exits or GPS directions to Oblivion.

Had there been, he'd have run into Hayden Christensen.




Song by: Five Finger Death Punch  

(I will go on record, I don't own this song. I DO love the band name, but not their music so much.)

3 comments:

Erik Rubright said...

A Ford Prefect would have also been acceptable. ;-)

And holy crap, has it really been 16 years since the Menace was released???

anne marie in philly said...

bob and his husband carlos and their furkids are the ONLY things I like about SC; the rest of the state can fuck right off!

Bob Slatten said...

First off ..... HEY!!!!!!!!

And [B]: Thanks AM, I need you'd have my back.

Finally, thirdly ... thirdly? ... there's a lot of great things about SC, it's just that we've got more than our share of rightwingnuts who give us a bad name.

Or who drive like asshats through our countryside.