Sunday, September 25, 2022

Bury Me Under the Weeping Willow

Listen, I know I'm getting older. 

It is not just that things start hurting for no reason - but they totally do.  It's not just that my husband likes to remind me when the temp gets into the high 50s and then follows up with....."just like you!...." 

On THE day I turned 49, I got my first unsolicited AARP mailing.  In the last year, I started getting Medicare mail - you know, because old people can't work computers. 

Mind you, 710 is three years older than myself, and HE doesn't get Medicare mail!

So, I was a bit amused and a bit put off when I got snail mail from Lake View Cemetery read that correctly. 

You've read my a-tale here of going to Lake View. My friends geocached there. Shep and Petey have had their pictures taken on Daffodil Hill (Petey getting into the paper for it).  Eliot Ness, James Garfield and John D. Rockefeller are interred there. 

I guess it's a great place to turn back into dust, but burial is not my plan. Nor would it be there anyway. My family is buried in the adjoining cemetery.   ......but they're out of room there. But still..........not the plan. 

To be clear:  *I* got the mail. It wasn't to "Occupant" or "Current Resident". It. Was. Addressed. To. Me. 710 didn't get one. 

What the fuck. Do they know something that I don't?

That all said - it is an elaborate mailer with a wheel of decisions on which section to take your big dirt nap. I like that one is 'history buff' as if that's isn't spread out over the entire acreage, not just section 64. 

Friends Chef Bob and Nurse Matt were even married in the Jebtha Wade Chapel there (yes, in a cemetery!) ....not that we were invited. Wade made his fortune founding Western Union.  ....but I digress.  I think. 

Yes, aging and death are inevitable, but c'mon............

Oh yeah, whichever one of you fuckers is left alive when I die has to take my ashes to Ogunquit, Maine and spread them on the Marginal Way. It's a somewhat lengthy path, so make sure you parse them out as needed. 

Song by: Rosanne Cash


Travel said...

I gave my sister my space in the family plot, we are planting a brother in law there soon.

Morty said...

Oh good, I've been dying for a reason to go back to Ogunquit.

Old Lurker said...

There is too much dying on your blog these days. But that unsolicited letter is super-creepy. I can only imagine what the data brokers think of you. Little do they know you will live to be 120.

James Dwight Williamson said...

If you are exercising and the Portuguese Man of War didn’t kill you, I think you’ve got a few years