Friday, January 06, 2017

Silence is Golden

So, Good Ole Mike IM'd me yesterday - yesterday !! - to challenge me to a Golden Globes contest (which is on Sunday).

It would be our first, though he claims we've done it before.  Je don't think so.

As I mentioned to him, the Globes has weird-ass categories, like 'Best Drama or Musical performed by Left Handed People with A- Blood'.   Mike added......who stutter.

There is little rhyme or reason to their categories. And he suggested we play on them all. Lord.

I'm happy to do the movies, but I think I'm staying away from television, as it could take me another night to get all the categories in here. There's a lot of editing just to get it to this level. Sometimes HTML isn't all that fun.

Mike thinks he's all that, because he's seen one (!!!) movie this year. One.  (pssssst......he's voting for Manchester by the Sea for everything.....evening in categories it's not nominated).

Now if I want to win (and I do), I have to think like the Hollywood Foreign Press.  UGH! Torture. Remember, these are people who gave Madonna a Best Actress award!   Yeah. That!

These aren't all my choices of what's best - just what might win.

Which comes to the real reason Mike messaged me today. He must be out of cookies. It must be hell for Peter and Otis with Mike's Holiday Cookie DTs in full effect. He just needs a fix and sees me as an easy target.   .....and clearly, I'm an enabler.

So......away. we. go.

Best Picture, Drama 
Hacksaw Ridge, Hell or High Water,  Lion,  Manchester by the Sea,  Moonlight

Yeah - like anyone is voting for a Mel Gibson movie!  

Best Picture, Comedy or Musical 
20th Century Women,  Deadpool,  Florence Foster Jenkins,  La La Land,   Sing Street

Best Actor, Drama 
Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea Joel Edgerton, Loving Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic Denzel Washington, Fences

It might be Washington, but the Other Affleck is riding great reviews. 

Best Actress, Drama 
Amy Adams, Arrival Jessica Chastain, Miss Sloane Isabelle Huppert, Elle Ruth Negga, Loving Natalie Portman, Jackie

Weird choices. Miss Sloane was out for 17 minutes. Though Huppert might take it. It is the foreign press. Portman will get it though I don't think her performance was that strong.  

Best Director 
Damien Chazelle, La La Land Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge Barry Jenkins, Moonlight Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea

Yeah, like anyone is voting for Mel Gibson. 

Best Actor, Musical or Comedy 
Colin Farrell, The Lobster Ryan Gosling, La La Land Hugh Grant, Florence Foster Jenkins Jonah Hill, War Dogs Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool

He's foreign. The film offbeat.   ....and it's not Jonah Hill.

Best Actress, Musical or Comedy 
Annette Bening, 20th Century Women Lily Collins, Rules Don't Apply Hailee Steinfeld, The Edge of Seventeen Emma Stone, La La Land Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

You know Benning is serious about her performance because in every scene in the trailer she's smoking. Oooooh.....acting!

Best Screenplay 
Damien Chazelle, La La Land Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals Barry Jenkins, Moonlight Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea Taylor Sheridan, Hell or High Water

Just spitballing here. It will probably go to Moonlight

Best Supporting Actor 
Mahershala Ali, Moonlight Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water Simon Helberg, Florence Foster Jenkins Dev Patel, Lion Aaron Taylor Johnson, Nocturnal Animals

I'd vote for Patel, but last year's Oscars kind of will force the hand of any black man who isn't Will know, cause he sucks. 

Best Supporting Actress 
Viola Davis, Fences Naomie Harris, Moonlight Nicole Kidman, Lion Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Davis might not fit into that mold I mentioned right above. Williams might take it, but probably not. 

Best Original Score 
Moonlight La La Land Arrival Lion Hidden Figures

Original Score. The only musical.  Slam and dunk. 

Best Original Song 
“Can't Stop the Feeling,” Trolls “City of Stars,” La La Land “Faith,” Sing “Gold,” Gold “How Far I’ll Go,” Moana"

I liked "City of Stars", but it's gonna come down to Timberlake or "How Far I'll Go" from the Hamilton guy, Lin Manuel Miranda. 

Best Animated Feature Film 
Kubo and the Two Strings,  Moana,  My Life as a Zucchini,  Sing,  Zootopia

It will probably be Moana, but I'm hoping here. 

Best Foreign Language Film 
Divines,  Elle,  Neruda,  The Salesman,  Toni Erdmann

I'm looking forward to seeing Elle. It looks great. Toni Erdmann looked dreadful, though the trailer kept saying how "hilarious" it was.  It wasn't. 

I suppose bakery is on the line. I don't mind if I lose to and need to concoct something - it's going the post office that grinds my gears......and losing.

I am assuming I'm tipping my hand at the 6th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®  selections, but not all of these will be on that ballot.

Oh - and the Golden Globe itself?  F'ugly.  Only the People's Choice Award might be worse. But the GG looks like something stored in Bellatrix LeStrange's vault at Gringotts. Or at Mike's house in Boston.

I kid.....I kid.

Madame LeStrange would never own anything that tacky.

Song by: Garbage


Dith said...

Ha! Don't let Shep eat raw cookie dough.

Blobby said...

what makes you think * I'm * going to lose???

Raybeard said...

Most interesting.
Re 'Hacksaw R', on the trailer (the film starts next week - and no, I haven't decided yet, though the story is attractively unusual) MGs name isn't mentioned. It just says "From the award-winning director of 'Braveheart'" without saying who that is. I can only guess that he's still experiencing the after-effects of his drunken/hysterical rant(s) and that his name is still box-office poison. If so must admit I still retain a degree of pleasure in the schadenfreude of it all.

Anonymous said...

Blobby is so dramatic. But he makes good cookies, so there’s that. I’m hoping for a sweep with my picks on Sunday night. Blobby is already threatening that he won’t stay up for the entire broadcast because of 1. Jimmy Fallon and 2. That beauty sleep he needs so violently. But hey, I’ll just stay up by myself, maybe text myself a few times, telling me what a great job I’m doing. Whatever.

As I always tell Blobby during our contests, may the best man win. And good luck. You’ll need it.

Best Picture, Drama
“Manchester By the Sea” – because as Blobby points out, it’s the only movie I’ve seen so it wins by default. I don’t get out much.

Best Picture, Comedy or Musical
“La La Land” - Gotta sing, gotta dance. In Blobby’s case, gotta sit down.

Best Actor, Drama
“Casey Affleck” – He did it all in this film. And he’s cute.

Best Actress, Drama
“Natalie Portman” – I’d rather go with Amy Adams, who has had seven previous Golden Globe nominations, and two wins. But I have no idea what her movie is about, and I’ve heard of Jackie O.

Best Director
“Damien Chazelle” – Cuz with a name like Chazelle, it’s gotta be good.

Best Actor, Comedy or Musical
“Ryan Gosling” - Duh

Best Actress, Comedy or Musical
“Emma Stone” – Double duh

Best Screenplay
“Manchester By the Sea” – out on a limb here, folks…

Best Supporting Actor
“Mahershala Ali” - ???

Best Supporting Actress
“Viola Davis” – Is this the movie trailer I saw when we went to “Manchester By the Sea”? Big dramatic crying scene with snot rolling out of her nose? I hope not…

Best Original Score
“La La Land”

Best Original Song
“City of Stars”

Best Animated Feature Film
“Zootopia” – Blobby is going highbrow on this one with “Kubo and the Two Strings”. I remember telling him I liked the prequel better, “ Kubo Only Has One String”.

Best Foreign Language Film
“Toni Erdmann” – my ace in the hole