I'd say, most of the time, I still feel like I am in my 20s.
Not physically. I mean, I have at least one sore body part at all times. Sometimes multiple, depending on the day.
I'm talking more regarding how you feel inside.
Yesterday I was invited to the executive boardroom to give a presentation. And I'd be presenting to the presidents of eight hospitals.
Me.
While I waited to enter, I was talking to a physician and the CEO walked by. He's an imposing man. I'm 6'2" and he's easily four inches taller than myself. We had met briefly, once, not that he'd remember. Nor did he seem to. I'm fine with that. I don't feel the need to have face time with him. As it turns out, he knows the wife of one of my cousins. As always, people ask if she and I are related....I suppose we are, though I've never met her. I haven't even seen him for 30 years. 30 years this week, actually. (He was at my sister's wedding.....she just celebrated her 30th.)
Then I was sitting at the biggest conference table I've ever seen and just sat down and chatted with all these presidents. Three I knew. Five I did not. What was more amazing was that they sat and listened to what I had to say - and provided good feedback.
Great feedback even.
I really am not patting myself on the back here. Honest. But as one of the presidents went on to thank me for providing direction to two of his hospitals, and then called me 'Bob' and asked if it was ok to call me that. I probably blew any credibility I had and said, "if you keep singing my praises, you can call me anything you'd like". It at least got a laugh.
Still, during this hour long back-and-forth, in the back of my mind I kept wondering - 'when are these fine folks going to realize I'm a fraud who shouldn't be here?'. I am a guy who watches the People's Couch and still appreciates a good fart joke. But it does have to be a good one.
I kept thinking - I have no business discussing multimillion dollar business.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think they'd really invite me to the table if I wasn't qualified. Sometimes I can't figure out I got from there to here.
I guess I don't grow'd up.
Song by: Garbage
10 comments:
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they wanted your medical knowledge, not your fart jokes. congratulations!
I know the feeling. i am constantly wondering if I'm in the wrong room, and looking for the kid's table!
When I was a teenager, I thought I was an adult. Now that I am an old retired geezer, I realize I wasn't one then, am not one now and never was one in between.
I expect they were all thinking exactly the same.
JP
I like Michael Dodd's comment. I still see myself as in my 20s, too. I haven't progressed out of them, career-wise. You are no fraud, dearest. You have a fine mind.
It's your turn.
I often feel a sham.
I know what you mean; I usually feel as if I'm in my 20s too. 28 to be specific. I've had this theory that most people have an eternal internal age. That's the age they feel like internally, that does not ever change. Even when I was 22 I felt 28. Now that I'm 52 I still feel 28, most of the time. Congrats on the major props at work. You must have really impressed them!
Every day I still think I'm 16.
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