Wednesday, October 14, 2015

You Don't Know Me

Some times I just fuck with people because I can. Usually, they are innocent by-standers as way of a humour-inducer to friends.

I mentioned last week that we were off to the woods for a birthday celebration for our friend Rebecca.

We stayed at a medieval type of place called Ravenwood Castle. There was a sort-of castle like structure that had a non-working drawbridge, no moat and a not-to-period balcony.

There were other places to reside - such as the Silversmith's Cabin, the Clocktower, the Gypsy Cottage. You get the point.

Jim would have had a woodie the entire time if he stayed at a place like this. Being there is no wifi - hell, there was no cell service - period - one must make their own entertainment.

Upon arrival, the manager (?) gave the newbies a brief orientation of the place - times of meals, the bar, the buzzer, how the keys work (no, really!), etc. Everyone in said orientation I knew save for two.

Mitch & Tara.

I know their names, well, because we went around and introduced ourselves and they were the only two names I didn't know - so it wasn't that difficult to commit them to memory. And because I'm me.

Mitch was more than a Ginger. He was full on flaming red hair and a long, yet well-maintained beard of the same colour. For the life of me, I don't remember what Tara looked like and if she were alone, I'd never be able to pick her out of a line-up. As it was, they'd never be Mitch or Tara. For the purpose of this weekend - and thereafter - they'd be forever entwined.

But just to play around, the first evening, I might have brought up Mitch & Tara's name to anyone who would listen a half-dozen times or so.

It is amazing how people pick-up on shit when they can't look into the phones in their hands.

Mind you, I had met everyone in our weekend group at least once - save for two. And even another two or so don't know me very well - not that this has ever stopped me from being me.

The potential problems could have been multiple:

A. I've been blessed with a voice that carries (according to my mother - and anyone else who has ever met me).

B. The place was pretty small - including the "great" hall. (think Hogwarts dining hall but on an elementary school scale.) And the bar area, well - even smaller.

Since there is NOTHING around these neck of the woods, locals, use the bar as their night-out kind of place. I mean, this 'castle' doesn't even have cable. They have TVs and DVDs you can borrow, but no one is there to 'watch the game' or anything. So board games is what one does to pass the time.

The first night, we were sitting outside, playing music and everyone catching up and / or getting to know each other. It was here, or at the previous dinner, that I brought up Mitch & Tara for the first time. The people who know me best laughed. Soon, they were chiming in.

But to go back to our cabin, which was right next to Mitch & Tara's {squeeee!!!!} we had to walk up from the basement pub to the castle doors. As the happy couple were playing their own game, I might have said "night Mitch. night Tara" on my way up the stairs, but after I was out of sight.

The next morning was kind of the unofficial litmus test. Oh, the buzz about if Mitch & Tara was at, or had yet been to, breakfast. They showed up halfway through our pancake/sausage bake (yes, it was as bad as it sounds).

While some of us went our separate ways during the day - hiking and such (more on that in another post), now and then the group(s) I was with would bring up M&T.

Our group had dinner and games in a room off the bar area that night. Oh and drinks. Lots and lots of drinks. Unfortunately, probably for everyone involved, the door to our room was not closed, so any mention of Mitch & Tara that came up - of which there were MANY - had to be heard by the couple themselves.

I am sure I said (in their would-be voices): "There! I heard someone say our names again!!!!"

As we played some game called Snake Oil, a card version of Shark Tank (?) with fake businesses, I'm sure many interjected Mitch & Tara into their sales pitch. They are the demographic to which we all aspire.

I have to say, even the people I didn't know got into it - including two very reserved gentlemen. Even the next morning, Becky's 70-something father said to me (and all at the breakfast table):

"I didn't see Tara eat a cinnamon roll".  Allegedly, I just sadly shook my head and replied, "you never do!"

I'd say we were having fun at their expense, but we weren't really. We were using our made-up personas of them to pass the time away.

In retrospect, maybe we should have invited them to join us at game / wine night. But they probably would have been a buzzkill.

Oh - and the title image guy: he was hanging in the great hall. I took the picture and sent it around to the weekend participants with:  Mitch's great-great-great grandfather. 

Song by: Emmylou Harris


Bob said...

Mitch and Tara, or as i like to think of them, Mitchentara, are never up for a good time.

Jeffrey said...

Does look like it's in a pretty part of Southern Ohio, though. I know Athens and New Marshfield which are right next door ...

rebecca said...

Oh come on, you're not going to admit we (Ok, I) found their wedding video online? And they were dancing (sloppy drunky) to Don't Stop Believin'?! ("Get a room!")