Friday, March 29, 2013
Nails In My Feet
I'm lovin' Jebus' new 'do. It is much shorter and so much easier to manage. Of course, it completely fucks up the validity of that Shroud of Turin thingy.
And fuck, what I'd give to have those abs! I mean, maybe not nailed to a cross, but the man is ripped....whomever he is.
Of course, maybe he's not hanging from timber. Isn't it possible, just possible, that this is a really really intense Pilates class.
I really think that is a business model that would work. I mean, L.A. has a Chinese / Jewish Deli called Genghis Cohen, so why not Pontius Pilates Studio?
How else to you explain that torso and abs? Three Day Miracle?
I do love how these christians see Christ as a honey-blonde, white dude - as there are so many of those in Jerusalem. I'm sure there is some wiki site that explains how he morphed into an "acceptable" white dude, but I"m too lazy to look and it just doesn't matter.
I truly don't believe if he was portrayed as dark or olive skinned that anyone in say, Alabama, would be so eager to follow him as their lord and savior. Jebus would be drinking out of a separate water fountain if they had their way. ....and yes I'm generalizing. Sue me.
(remind me to tell you 2 offensive crucifixion jokes later!)
I still don't know how a bunny, eggs and chocolate got involved either in this so-called "holiday", but it's out there. So I get Jolly Rancher jellybeans half-off starting next week.
...and that is the real miracle!
Song by: Crowded House