Sunday, August 05, 2012


Personally, I haven't listened to this song is years. Maybe decades (yes, it's almost 30 years old!). Of course, I also cannot think of anything but the Madonna parody, Medusa: Dare to be Truthful, starring Julie Brown, as she talks on the phone to her psychiatrist:

"Other patients?  You're seeing OTHER patients?  C'mon! You said I was borderline, I even wrote a song about it!"

Now that I'm off that jag, this has nothing to do with Madonna or Medusa. Honest.

Yesterday was another yoga day - a special one:  Yoga Without Borders.

The idea was that a U.S. mentor would help an African mentee get certified being a yoga instructor. I think they do other mentorship items, but Bernard was on his way to his goal and this class was a way to bring togetherness, not just to him, but to all of us participating.

I wasn't sure how it would truly work, but the store where David and I do free yoga on Sundays (and that occasional singular belly dancing class) was doing a one-off on Saturday, but the class would be taught, via Skype, from Africa.

I saw a host of problems from the beginning - first off being, it wasn't just show-up to class, but you'd have to come into the store physically and sign-up to participate. The other issues seem to be more obvious - Skype and Transatlantic yoga and a potential language barrier.

Let's take the issues from the top:

David has friends in high places who actually got us signed up last Sunday. Sign-up wasn't supposed to start until Monday, but they worked magic and our names were on the list. Well - not mine per se. One guy's (Ralph? is that right David?) newly single ex-girlfriend, Svetlana, was no longer attending - so I became 'Svetlana'.  Yes, let the jokes begin.  You're not even the first, let alone the first today - so have at it.  Still, problem "solved" for me getting a space.

Skype worked much better than I thought it might from 7,700 miles away. Yes, there was fuzziness from the projection screen. Yes, there was the dropped signal. And some of the delay in transmission didn't make us hold poses too much longer than normal.

Language was much harder for me and I noticed others didn't seem to have this issue. I found myself constantly looking at others trying to see what pose we should be in. To me, Bernard's accent was heavy and things didn't translate how I thought they might. I swear he'd say 'down exit' as opposed to 'down dog'.

Yes, I eventually got into most of the flow, but too many times, I was uncertain what I should do.

Oh oh oh - and he really went with that 'togetherness' thing. Mind you, I always position myself between David and a wall - so no one is on my left side. But a few times, Bernard had us touch our neighbor.  Now my neighbor was my cousin, and I love him dearly - still, to hold his hand during shavasana was a new one. Grabbing his foot in another pose was something different  - - - altogether (insert Airplane response here!).

Oh, and that creepyish Asian guy who showed up to belly dancing kept walking around to adjust me. He hugged almost every women in the store. David assumed he is their waxer.

But David, on occasion did introduce me as Svetlana. I swear, even the chick checking us in, without humour or irony, just checks me off and goes, "we have another Svetlana who's already here!".  Oh, honey!

More awkward (ok, not really) is when David called me that name in front of Ralph. David says, "at least you don't have to go home with him!". I replied, "I've gone home with a lot worse!".  Oh, Ralph is an ex-Army Ranger.

It wasn't the greatest workout, but I get the 'we are the world' theme...minus Huey Lewis, Kim Carnes and Jermaine Jackson.

Today, we're off to our normal Sunday class. The problem?  The guest instructor, who was next to David, knows me as "Svetlana".


Song by: Madonna


Cubby said...

Maybe I'm in an extra good mood or something, but I think this post belongs in your "best of Blobby" category. I can't stop smiling.

david said...

"Part-Time Lover" by Philip Bailey should have been the sound track. (Duet with Stevie Wonder) Being Svetlana is a lot easier than being the guy fell into her during a communication black out while in side plank. Also noticed the waxer had a big jar of boy butter behind the counter. Looking forward to todays class. Does Cubby ever sleep?

Morty said...

How svetty did you get?

Ur-spo said...

Borderlines are exhausting.