Friday, January 14, 2022


Like it or not (and I don't), I am an aging gay male.  All three of those things are true.

In a quasi-on-going quest to satisfy educators on how gay men are - or want to be - I've opted to participate in another study:  Study on Aging and Sexual Satisfaction Among Gay Men. 

A doctoral candidate at Michigan State University is doing this for this thesis. At first I didn't qualify, because - thankfully - I'm not from Michigan. But he's opened up the study to other mid-western states, including Ohio. So he reached back out to me. 

And I said 'yes'. 

Granted, I suppose his dissertation could be on the actual title of the survey, but I'd like to think it is more. As you can surmise, many of the questions are on sex in your 50s (or older). Nothing totally salacious. 

There are questions on if you like your body, are you proud of it, do you feel that the gay community values that too much. You kind of expect those. 

There are a number of questions on depression - and if you are, and if so, how much so. 

I was taken aback by my answers on my inclusion - or lack of - in the LGBTQI community.  While I answered in the affirmative if I'm proud to be a member of the community, I hit 'disagree' when asked if I felt part of it.   And I don't. 

Part of that is age related. And laziness. And the 2020s. I mean, I don't go out anymore - covid or not. Gay life / bar life starts a good hour after I'm IN bed.........not looking to go to bed with others. But as we aged, we kind of withdrew from that life. Granted, work and family responsibilities increased taking us away from that world. 

I don't know if I'd feel a part of the community more if I participated in it more. I don't know that men of a certain age aren't just looked over - especially by what is a very judgey cohort. You can say otherwise, but think back when you're 25 and encountered a 60 year old gay man.  I mean, I suppose it's true for straight folks too, but I'm not one of those, so that's not my experience. 

So the final part was about questions not asked - and I included some of that in there. Again, those might have nothing to do with his focus of study. 

Listen, if this somewhat helps the gay community, so be it. If it just helps him get that PhD, I'm ok with that too. 

And if you want to participate in the study - and live in the mid-west, you can contact Lucas here

Song by: George Michael

1 comment:

Travel said...

Thinking back to my "going out days" I didn't leave home until the time I now go to bed. The best clubs in Orlando didn't open until 9:00 and didn't come to life until after 10. I am asleep by then many night.