Wednesday, March 21, 2018
Somewhere in the Naval Observatory, Mike Pence is pounding his fist on the dinner table going, "dang nabbit!"
I'm sure it was those words, because good Christians (yes, I know it's an oxymoron) don't swear.
Yes, John Oliver has upstaged the VP, his daughter's and wife and their book about their pet rabbit. Because, what would rankle Mikey more than mocking his book with similar, but queer rabbit.
Maybe it's could have been a girl gay bunny who gets an abortion who then later sues a religious baker. That would have given the man a stroke.
Somehow Oliver got his book out on the exact same release date as Pence. Brilliant.
This should add to Pence's palpitations:
Oliver's book is #1. Pence? #4.
Oliver's book has a 5 star rating. Pence? 4.5
Oliver's book has 3,759 reviews (as of last night). Pence? 83.
And Oliver has an Audio Book - voiced by Jim Parsons and Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Pence doesn't even have one. I guess Jesus was too busy to record it. Prior commitments and all.
What I love more about this is 710. He comes home from work yesterday and says, "I ordered John Oliver's book". He can read at higher than a 1st grade level, but he wanted to jab it a little to Pence in anyway he could. I guess our Planned Parenthood donations weren't enough.
I'm down with it. Anything to mock that P.O.S. is fine with me.
Song by: Mitchell Froom