How to be Strong

Last Friday I had yet another physical therapy appointment for my shoulder.

I should be farther along with my treatment, but even though I said I would be compliant with my work, I haven't been.  Not religiously.

It's vicious cycle - it makes me sore to do it, but I'm sore in a different way if I don't.

There are great signs of improvement though - the therapist says my strength is almost back to normal.  I'm not sure how he knows this since he never saw me when I was normal, but I'm sure there are benchmarks to go against.

My range of motion is better too. Not all there, but I don't expect it to be.  I'm old.

I'm feeling the PT too.  I'm working with only 1-8 pound weights, but I'm feeling it as if I were lifting 45.  I. Am. Sore.

Part is just lack of me being able to go to a weight room, though I suppose I can go - but would I look foolish lifting 1-8 pound weights.  I always seemed to be on the weaker side of that room when I was lifting 45-60.  Now I'd just look like a 98 lb weakling.

As it is, I'm not sure I'll be doing any more benching, no squats or nothing that raises weight over my head - or that works my shoulder in that upward way.

I can now go back to curls, so that's something. I feel like my arms have gotten so flabby and no longer defined. I hate that.

Yes, I'm vain - I totally get that.  But when you cringe in pain as you try to reach your back to wash it in the shower, your priorities change a little - until you see yourself in the mirror.  Then vanity is staring you right back.

Or it is stating back at me.  I'm shallow.  I get it.

It sounds like one or two more appointments and I'll be discharged and the next one isn't even for another month - so I'll try to be more diligent about the therapy I'm supposed to do at home.

Honestly, I'd be ok with the shoulder no longer hurting just so I can do better at yoga.



Song by:  Rosanne Cash