I have too many words - and on the other hand, I have none.
I am not sure I can coherently put into words how and what I feel. Sure, there is anger, shock, sadness, disbelief, but it usually comes right back to anger.
We had debated going to the Cleveland rally on Saturday. In the first paragraph, it was billed as a peaceful one. In the second, it mentioned writing an emergency contact on your arm; making provisions for work, family, pets, should you be in jail for 2-3 days. At that point, we opted out.
Part of that decision was the volume of folks and the closeness of several thousand people and the potential for covid spread. That said, while looking at the videos of our protests, the majority of folks had on masks - be it to conceal their identify or for infection control.
But like other cities, ours went violent.
And I totally get it.
How else does one get the attention of the white establishment? Break their shit.
Voting hasn't worked. Mediation hasn't worked. Peaceful protests weren't even allowed - not really.
Let's not even talk about justice. Has any white cop actually been convicted of any killing of a black man? Not in Ohio they haven't. How could any specific community continue to take this lying down?
That Minneapolis cop is kind of fucked either way - not that I care. So many of these violations are not caught clearly on camera, if at all. We've all seen what he did. His side will claim he cannot get a fair trial, which may or may not be true. No matter the outcome, there will be protests. Should he be found guilty, the most he can get is 12 years - on one is going to see that as justice. Should he get acquitted, what we saw this last weekend will be a day at the park in comparison.
That said, this week felt like something is about to break. Big time.
Before there have been some upheavals, riots and protests. This feels different. It should. I hope it is.
I do worry. BLOTUS is all but egging on the violence. He needs this discourse to re-re-re-re solidify his base. He needs the country to be in turmoil. Normally, you'd think that would get him voted out, but I don't believe that to be the case. We're already (ALREADY!) getting his 2020 ads playing every single night and multiple times. They are vile - and lies. Total lies.
I don't know what these next few days or weeks will feel like. The riots have taken away from the video being played. That can't happen.
As horrible as that video is, it needs to keep being shown. A distraction of violence will lessen the heinousness of the actual crime.
Odd as it sounds, while my stomach has been in knots for the last week, I am not sure I want that uneasiness to go away. I think it's the hate fire that has to remain to keep change moving forward. It's going to be difficult on every level.
Song by: Talking Heads