Tuesday, September 18, 2018

In My Reply

NOTICE:  There is mandatory reader participation at the end of this post. 


Gird your loins folks.  This Thursday, coming directly to your mobile device, is a FEMA test message from your benevolent overlord - BLOTUS.

Yes, that is right the Federal Emergency Management Asshole-lickers will be sending the first end its first 'Presidential Alert' in emergency messaging system test that will allow BLOTUS to send a message to every U.S. cell phone.

There is no opt out feature

This is bad on SO many levels.

What little sub-fraction of privacy you thought you maintained with telecommunications is now officially gone.  Every. Single. Phone.  The U.S. government is using your carrier - the ones you pay money to - to forcibly accept an SMS or phone call to your device.

And now we'll be getting things worse than tweets from that blowhard in the oval office. And really - what's to stop him?  It'll be like living with Kim Jong Un, but without the whimsy.

So, since it is a text - well, I'm assuming - it should allow us to text back, though that would be so very very very foolish on FEMA's part.  Though my thought is, if they can inundate our phones, why shouldn't it be able to work in reverse?

I have a proposition for all of you.  ALL OF YOU.   Here me now......and heed me now.
  • Think of your reply. I encourage you to be as vile as possible.  
  • Text it. 
  • Snap a screen shot. 
  • Email it to me - do not post directly to the blog.  
  • I will make an entry of what I can only guess are your witty witty witty replies. 


As Otter from Animal House would say:  "this is gonna be great!"


UPDATE:  the test has been delayed and rescheduled to October 3rd.  I found out after completing, but having no time to draft something different. You have time to come up with something clever.  Do not disappoint me. 



Song by: Linda Ronstadt

8 comments:

wcs said...

Ha! I don't have an American cell phone, so I guess I'm out of the loop. Still, I could try to come up with a response and offer it to anyone who needs one.

Harry Hamid said...

I'm just going to say "UNSUBSCRIBE."

It's not exciting or particularly witty, but I don't want his tweets to go mandatory.

So maybe "RESIGN" would be better.

Raybeard said...

If a British landline phone was able to do what you want I wouldn't hesitate. (Never owned a mobile - if people still know what that word means).

And I've just got to say - what a damned nerve that 'man' has got!

anne marie in philly said...

I don't own a cell phone, so I won't have to deal with his bullshit.

and PS - it was flounder, not otter.

Bob Slatten said...

I have a cell pone but I don't send texts or get texts, but if I got a text from that fat orange rapist in the White House the phone would be destroyed.

Deedles said...

My cell is always off. Emergency use only, when I figure out how to turn it on. What's a text? :)

Mark in DE said...

Heaven help us...

Blobby said...

you people are not helping my cause and future blog post AT ALL