I suppose this should be poignant and not morose, but I don't think it will be either of the two.
While I mention every year that is was my birthday (it always conflicts with 12 of 12 - and that posting will always overrule my day of birth) oddly, I don't care much about the day, but it does provide a blog entry - and sometimes that's enough.
Yes, I hit the big 5-0 yesterday. No kicking. No stretching. No kicking.
I didn't even go kicking and screaming (or stretching) into the day. It is just a sequential day, and one I had no control over from birth until now.
I did attend a luncheon on state Medicaid reform. Ooooooh. Exciting.
Every year that goes by here, I write that I never expected to live this long - be it having a malignant sarcoma or a perforated appendix. Well, that and my nearly fatal case of Simple Chronic Halitosis.
I know I joke about that all above, but honestly, it never occurred to me that I would be alive after 35 and definitely not at 50. Oddly, I was ok with that back in the day. It's the fatalist in me.
Yet, I've defied most odds and now I'm a family man and have to keep going on. It is what we all do - isn't it?
While I don't think I look 50, I feel it.
I feel it every.single. day. In my shoulder, feet, knee, hand and my tinnitus. I'm a frickin' mess. Yet, I moderate my workouts to not cause too much pain, but I'm 50, not 20. Things don't work the same way anymore - nor are they meant to.
Honest, I'm not complaining. As 710 said last night at dinner: "you made it." Apparently I wasn't the only one questioning my viability.
I really do try to not make a big deal of the day - which is strange, being a Leo - but I don't care for the attention. Though this year, I'm kind of milking it a little. Indeed I am.
I am just using the "special day" to get friends together. That's what Maine was all about. That is what this upcoming weekend is all about. I don't want parties. I don't want gifts. It will just be friends sitting around drinking and having fun.
Don't get me wrong - if there's cake, I will eat it. I'm not a fool.
710 and I went out to dinner last night and it was nice. We usually try to find new places to go on his and my birthday, somewhere we haven't been. This year we did not and that was ok, but honestly, I'm fine eating at home and having Petey and Sophie around. I am a family man.
I also had dinner with my family a few days prior. I don't even like that attention. But I try not to have that about me. It was my parent's doing - I was just a result of their of their fun time. I figure I just showed up - they did the work and hell, they tolerated my bullshit for 18 years before I moved out. It should be a celebration about them.
So 50. Not middle aged, as I have no intention of 100.
...on another note, August 13th is Left-Hander's Day. ....and I'm left-handed. Whoo-hoo.
Song by: Suzanne Vega