Sunday, April 24, 2022

Burnout

I realized late this last week, that I haven't had  / taken a day off since "new years", which technically "gave" that to us on December 31st of 2021, just due to the day on which January 1st fell. 

Honestly, we are almost done with the first third of 2022 and I have not taken one fucking day off. 

Not one. 

This explains my my overall malaise and being run down on my "time off", and why I think I'm being totally unfocused at work. 

I actually like my job and the folks with whom I work, but there are times lately where I just don't care or put forth my usual effort.  I don't think the not taking time off thing is a coincidence with the other stuff. 

The joke is - it's so hard to take time off due what you are forced to come back to in terms of emails and unfinished projects. I do love how my boss is living this right now.  He took off four days for a wedding and two days at a conference - not in a row.  One of my counterparts is gone and my boss is filling in while he hires. ....and he cannot keep up. 

I should my mention, my counterpart had about 75% less staff than I do. He had maybe 5-6 practice sites. Me?  28. I think my boss is figuring out my life better now, but it's of little comfort. 

Should 710 and I not find a long weekend - and soon - then I'm taking off 3-4 days just to do nothing. My problem is; if I'm at a staycation, I'll log in to work. That is the opposite of my goal. 

I think the gym has helped in terms of my mental health. And my physical stuff too. I am possibly going to weigh myself tomorrow, as it should put me at the 4 week mark of my getting back to the gym. I've only missed three days in that time.  Mondays are difficult for me, due to a 07:00 meeting I have, and for which I have to prep on the morning of. I could go after work, but I know I won't. And I'm sure the place has a very different vibe than the 05:00 time. 

I've been trying to do so much more self-care this year, but I'm failing in the biggest way, and the most obvious one as well. 

The irony is: I am such an advocate for me 220+ folks on not burning out, clearly I can't take my own advice. 


Song by:  Green Day

1 comment:

Travel said...

Take time off, stay home, hop a plane, take a train, drive around Lake Erie (actually kind of a fun drive.) Work expands to fill the time, and will always demand more, until we drop at our desks and start to decompose. Leave your office laptop behind.

I have been working too much, we took a few days off in April - and I was answering office emails on my phone. We are taking a week in May, I just need to clear three or four deadlines before we leave.