Thursday, February 05, 2015
What You Didn't Say
There was to be a memorial at the end of the calling hours, so, I'm almost embarrassed to say, I went early. I know Karen. I don't know her sister, I didn't know her parents. The sad fact is, the memorial would mean nothing to me.
It is possible I would have run into people I know had I hung around, but who wants to hang around a funeral home when you don't know anyone but one of the grieving?
Karen was very happy to see me, and I can't believe she went out of her way to make conversation when she clearly did not have to do so.
While I know Karen is a very strong woman, she was on a new level of strength or just operating with sense of shock.
I've never been to a double one of these. I went having an expectation, but also had that worse case scenario outlier in the back of my head. That was not needed, as it turned out - but as it turns out, I think I'm still creeped out by death.
I think I'm more uncomfortable with my social cues......or lack of them.....in these situations. I could hear the words coming out of my mouth, but not being able to stop them when I said to Karen, "how are you doing?".
I mean, at least it was after the hug and giving her and her sister my condolences, but still.....she would have totally been justified to come back with "how do you think I'm doing?".
Of course, Karen being Karen, she was gracious.
And while it was early, there was still a line of folks forming to talk, so I kept it brief and moved on - and out.
Let's hope I'm done with funeral related visits for a while. I'm not up for this.
Song by: Mary Chapin Carpenter