Friday, October 15, 2010

Easy For You To Say

As thick skinned as you might think I am, sometimes I'm not quite as tough as I sometimes appear to be. No, sad but true.

I've told you about my sixth grade experience when someone scrawled 'FAG' on my desk and clearly others in the class knew about it.

Or maybe the time when my friend Jon and I were walking to our cars after a day at the OSU Medical Center and a car drove by and an occupant yelled, 'FAG!'. Jon laughed, mostly at me, because I assumed it was directed at me.

A year or so later, I was walking on OSU's campus to my new job, actually after having lunch with Jon and someone yelled out of their dorm window - in the dead of winter - 'FAG'.

I looked around and sure enough I was the only one out in the elements. My g-d, I was four stories below and had on a winter coat, and a hat. It's not like I was using $400 worth of Loafer Lighteners.

This one, I just turned to and flipped off. I kind of felt the change in me that day.

I was, and am, proud to have participated in the It Gets Better Project, even if I'm not 100% thrilled with my submission.

That being said, of my half-dozen video posts, it is the most viewed of any I have done. About 1500 viewings to date. That's almost triple the amount than my Jiggy Whore Dance-Off III I did for Brett Cajun. That only garnered a little over 532 hits and a second to last place showing in his rigged voting.

Back to my point.

My YouTube account is set to let me know when there are comments posted to any post and I've only gotten two. One of which was just weird (looking for some empathy, but if you clicked on his link could tell a not so true story) the other one was just very disappointing.

You've probably already guessed his contribution : "Fag''.

Sir John Gielgud popped into my head from his role in Arthur: "You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable."

I also have 17 'likes', but of course it is the two 'dislikes' that troubles me. I should say that one of the thumbs-down came hours before the comment, so I'm not sure it's from the same person. Hey, I told you I wasn't as thick skinned as you imagined.

I'm not sure I care so much about this (other than I'm blogging about it), other than why would you be watching these videos in the first place?

Is this how displaced homophobia works, that some loser shut-in is commenting gay people's video posts? Better in their parent's basements than out on the streets, I guess - but that's probably not too far off.

I guess it's easier to hide this way. At least some of us try putting ourselves out there - right or wrong. This guy was just wrong.

...and speaking of wrong (or things that are irking me) regarding It Gets Better: straight celebrity posts.

Rob Thomas? Adam Levine (though it's only a 40% shot he's straight anyway)? Jewel (ok, maybe I went to far with the word 'celebrity')? that skank Ke$ha? ...the list goes on and on.

You know, they can certainly do the I Heard It Gets Better campaign, but I don't really think they can really speak to the gay youth of today from a first hand perspective.

It seems like shameless self-promotion to me in order to shore up some fan base that they have or want to have. Do today's gay teens even know who the fuck Jewel is? Or some guy from the Backstreet Boys, who became irrelevant right after these kids were born - if not before?

Maybe it's me, but they seem to be cheapening the idea of it all.

Song by: Linda Ronstadt


tornwordo said...

I really have to do this, but every time I think about it, I feel like I'm just copycatting. At least I'm not a straight celebrity.

Breenlantern said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Breenlantern said...

Tornwordo: it's not about being original, it's about showing strength in numbers. let 1 million people simply post a video saying "it gets better" so the youth and the world can see we are legion and we are all healthy happy adults that survived and are glad for it.

Blobby: You know I'm one of your biggest fans (well, in my mind, anyway) and I am so glad you did this. I have a very thin skin myself and still freak out (internally) when I'm called fag and worry I make myself a target for being so out. I am not, by nature, a brave man, but this is one area I push my boundaries and step out of my comfort zone and refuse to give into the fear these hate mongers (try to) instill in us. It is never easy to be a target of hate and bigotry. I am 39 and it still reduces me to tears sometime. You are human, and we all feel the same you do so, in that, you are not alone. I am sorry for the negative experiences you have had and am all the more grateful that you choose to be open and visible and participate in this project none the less. That is what defines a hero in my book: persevering despite the fear and hatred. You ARE a hero to these kids. And you are a hero to me.

Cubby said...

Oh geez, now I'm worrying that the friendly jibes I give you here and in other venues hurts your feelings. I am just kidding around. You know I'm your *true* number one fan (suck it Sean, lol).

You're being attacked randomly. Being called a fag from a window or a car is just stupid kids doing what they do best... acting stupidly towards some random person walking by.

I'm proud of you for making the vids. That's something I will never be able to bring myself to do. Ever. I know any vid I make will instantly go viral with people saying, "Here's a vid of the biggest fucking dork ever. Bonus: he's a faggot!!!" No, I think I'd like to avoid that.

The fact that you and Sean and thousands of others have the courage to put yourself out there in the internet astounds me and makes me very happy I've come to be acquainted with you guys.

anne marie in philly said...

ALL youse guys are an inspiration just by being and living who you are. no pretenses, no hiding, just out and proud.

(says the str8 girl, shyly)

rebecca said...

couldn't you find that KITH skit to go with this?