Tuesday, October 05, 2010

I Melt with You

We finally made it into Melt Bar & Grilled.

No, you wouldn't think getting into a place that makes frickin' grilled cheese sammiches would be such a big deal. However, over the last two years we've been to either of their two locations to be told of a two-hour (!!!!) wait. Danke Nein.

This last weekend we took a chance and went. They said a 15 minute wait, so we stayed. 15 became 30, which became 40. Even at that 'short' period of time - totally not worth the hype that either the local press or the number of spots they've garnered on FoodTV.

I know I'm an old fart, but it wasn't the place for us....and yes, I'm speaking for the both of us.

Sure, my ear is pierced but my eyes, nose, mouth, cheek, chin and forehead is not. This is true of the help and the clientele. Don't even get me started on the ear lobe extenders - ones the size of the circumference of the bottom of drinking glasses. Seriously dudes - are you even thinking past the age of 24? It looks like Goldie Hawn's abdomen in Death Becomes Her.

We were clearly in the minority.

And I know anymore I'm in the minority when it comes to tattoos. Not that if I found the right image, I wouldn't do it. But we're not talking a tramp stamp tatt at this place.

Let's just say the guy at the table next to us was one of the more subtle people with an ink job in the place. The big pistol tatt'd on his neck that was aimed right at the back of his ear was a nice touch. So were the two tatts of bullet holes on the back of his hands - one of which had 666 next to it. Classy!

Oh, if you get a Melt tattoo (yes, a tatt of a grilled cheese) you get something like 15% off for life. So.Not.Happening.

I'm also ok with just a plain grilled cheese sandwich. But of course, that's not really what they deal with. You can see the menu here. Each concoction and its attached caloric content is worth about four weeks of gym visits. ....and it's really not worth it.

Don't get me wrong, it was ok and all, but will I be going back? I can't see how or why. We'd never catch a break like that in timing again and there wasn't much on the menu I'd splurge on (again, the calories) with any regularity. ...or irregularity.

I can make a more palatable grilled cheese sandwich at home.

Song by: Modern English


Breenlantern said...

He He He...I had a crappy dinner experience last night as well (Olive Garden) and said essentially the identical thing: I'd have been happier with a grilled cheese sandwich at home. Funny that.

Cubby said...

I guess I'm too far out of the loop, being too cheap to pay Time Warner top dollar for shitty TV. Are you seriously saying a grilled cheese place is on Food TV? And it's in Cleveland?!!

I looked at their menu. Their sandwiches reminds me of a panini without the grill marks. You can go to any number of restaurants and get a panini in no time, so why wait for one from The Melt? Their monte cristo looks good however...

Morty said...

We have "GOOEYZ" in the building next to my work. A knockoff of MELT, I'm guessing. Tried it a couple times. Meh.

A Lewis said...

Sounds like a Portland sort of place. We have our own version where you sit inside of a converted yellow school bus to eat your sandwich. it's great!


anne marie in philly said...

I second cubby on the monte cristo; would take care of my food needs for an entire day!

I make grilled cheese at home on 12 grain whole wheat bread with a variety of whatever cheeses I have in the house at that moment (swiss, smoked cheddar, provolone, and colby jack for example). yummy yumz!

Ur-spo said...

I like a good grilled cheese, with ham and tomato.

Unknown said...

Grilled Cheesus still loves you even without the steel and tattoos.