With my parents gone, our traditions have changed, but we really don't have traditions per se - as in new ones. Maybe those take time to establish; maybe they'll never come to fruition. As long as I can have Chinese with my cousin on xmas day, all is good.
Yet, I do have another set of cousins. I love them, but there is some angst to be had.
Last weekend, I surprised my cousin Tim as he was having lunch with his daughter. I hadn't seen him since his wife's funeral during the height of Covid. We had a nice, but seemingly uninformative time. We talked, but we didn't try to catch up about the last three years. It was nice and odd at the same time.
I think it's coincidence, but a few days later, his sister texted me along with Tim's daughter. There were a semi-quick succession of 38 (!!!!) texts. My cousins are all older than me. Their kids are my age. Thats has nothing to do with anything really, but I'd thought I'd throw it out there. This is true on both sides of my family.
But 38 texts about trying to get together around Thanksgiving.
I have actually not clicked on a one. Should I, someone's gonna get a 'read' message, and I can't have that.
Since my mother and her brothers are gone, if there has been any family get together, I haven't been invited. That's cool. Unless I'm doing the inviting, I cannot control the invitees. Hence my issue with this would-be Thanksgiving meet-up.
I have no problem not seeing some of my sisters. I'm about 104% sure they're pretty good about not seeing me too. There's a 14% chance at least one of them is reading this now. So, I'm not keen on getting into social situations where we would more than likely see each other.
The part I'm not keen on is putting my cousins in a situation where I say 'no' or 'yes, but only if.....'.
For years they ostracized one of their sisters, so they're not unfamiliar with lack of interaction. But I also had to see that sister sit alone at one of her other sister's funeral. More power to Judy for showing up, but still.
As much as I'd like to see some of my cousins, other than at funerals, it's tough to navigate in bigger groups where certain people are or aren't invited. And to avoid the questions.
For the moment, I'm just being a coward and ignoring the premise of a get together by ignoring the text chain.
I did catch a partial text that popped up: something about me not answering and possibly running, where I'm not sure which one replied: "........from his family".
They're not wrong.
Song by: the Roaches