Thursday, June 01, 2023


We've all had cringe worthy moments, right?  

Yes, the immediate, but I'm talking when you're going about your daily business and think of something, say 18 years ago, and in your head you do a Homer Simpson "D'oh!".   And that reaction might be the best case scenario. 

Articles call it the "spotlight effect" or "cringe attacks".  I experience them weekly - probably several times. 

One, being a joke I told to my parents I heard on the playground. I doubt I was out of 5th grade - if that. 

I am me, so naturally, I thought I was HILARIOUS.  And I knew I didn't get the joke, even then. But I didn't know the depths to which I didn't get it. 

My initial "don't get" it was just not funny. But as a fourth child starved for any kind of attention, I sold that joke, like I work shopped in the Catskills for an entire season. 

I give it to you now - and you've probably heard it, as it's been a few centuries since I was in 5th grade. 

"Hey mom! Hey dad! - why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle"?

"Because he's not married!!!"     ("Because his wife is dead" is also acceptable) 

So, the pre-not getting it, was, what does bottling have to do with being married?  Like the soda, it left me a little flat. I'm thinking my parents did a polite laugh and probably changed the subject immediately. 

When I was older, I did think to myself, "do guys cum in bottles?"  I don't care if they have advanced or medical degrees. 

I'm 99% sure I never told that joke again - well, except here. 

Flash forward, 50+ years?  I stopped in a sub shop to pick up lunch after the race on Sunday. I don't get fountain drinks - as I don't drink soda, but you know, it comes with a bag of chips and a drink. I was about to go to the cooler to snag two bottles - water (for me) and diet soda for 710. 

.....and then this was right in front of me. 

I literally LOL'd. 

Now, the teen girl behind the counter probably didn't get the post-it. I'm guessing one of the guys who ran the place created it and stuck it there.  And yes, I think it was intentional.  Smiley-face and all. 

....and then I took a picture of it. 

It took 50+ years, but the joke FINALLY paid off. 

No one said comedy would be easy. 

btw.....I know I have a blog style where is almost always an image in the upper left corner. But I had to break that today. It would have killed the piece, and the surprise factor. 

Song by: Fleetwood Mac


Raybeard said...

You must have been mortified when, long after you'd told it to your parents, the penny eventually dropped - with you no doubt hoping they'd forgotten your telling which, of course, they wouldn't have. :-)

GregM said...

It was 1972 and I was 11 years old, riding in the car with my mom and my sister (3 years older) when we approach a car at a stop light. I'm trying to make out the bumper sticker on the car and read aloud, "Why change dicks in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in '72". There was silence all the way home.

Travel said...

Made me LOL!

rebecca said...

I told my mom the come on Eileen joke. Ofc, bc that was her name.