Wednesday, June 07, 2023


Today is Global Running Day. 

Is it sad that I now know that?  

But lace up your shoes and go for a run - or something simulating one. 

I will be. This evening. There is an untimed 5K for which I signed up.  Yes, this is my life now. Or until the next thing that comes along. 

Here's a not so secret:  I'm not a runner. 

Or, I don't feel like I am. Or that I can call myself that. Forget the fact of the 5K, the 10 miler, the 5.25 miler or a half marathon in which I participated. 

I guess this what imposter syndrome feels like. I put in the work - honest. I join all the things, even if I don't like them or don't fit in. Yet a year into this and...............I don't feel that I'm a runner, or part of that group or accepted. 

Of course the question is:  by who?  This isn't really a team activity. No one (but me) is basing a win on my performance or inclusion.  I'm guessing Freud, or maybe Jung, (I really don't know - I'm just making this shit up), would say I haven't been me!!!   {sob}

There might be some truth to that. 

I'm the guy who'll buy a nice shirt and never wear it because I don't think I'm good enough to do so. But I have it. 

I literally have t-shirts I really like and have never ever worn. Ditto with a pair of Lululemon underwear that must be 10 yrs old.  Those fuckers cost $ think I'm gonna risk a skid mark for that price?  710 makes fun of me a lot for this. He is correct to do so, but it's never altered my behaviour. 

Running might be the same thing. It's possible I'll never consider myself as such. It could because I compare myself to others, or some weird standard I have set in my head, which I'll constantly disappoint my own made-up standard. 

I tell myself that I haven't told most anyone (but Morty and 710) about races for which I sign up, due to fear of failure.  I've come to learn the term: DNF on your race sheet: Did. Not. Finish. I can't have that. I just don't know that is the reason I don't mention it. 

So, hear I am - telling you all in advance (albeit, barely), that I'm running tonight. But is it a race, if it's not timed and there are no winners?  I mean, it does come with a t-shirt,'s kind of a win. It's a community run  - to which I do and simultaneously do not belong - to celebrate Global Running Day. 

Song by: No Doubt


Old Lurker said...

Time to wear those t-shirts and underwears. Are you saving them as family heirlooms?

My opinion doesn't count for anything, but I consider you to have a running hobby. If others asked me "Is Blobby a runner?" I would probably answer in the affirmative. But I understand that this is not sufficient validation for those inner fears.

Travel said...

I was never the fastest, but I finished, and that was better than never starting. I was not built like a runner, never will be, I am built like me, and I did the best I could with me.
Wear the good stuff, strut your stuff in it.