Friday, January 05, 2018
Cold as it Gets
I might be paraphrasing that "joke".
But it's chilly here, like it most places. Single digits for the highs lately. ...and when I say single digits, 8 or 9 are not the options. 3 and 4 are of which we speak....and that's before wind chill factors.
Anyhoo........I was being nice on NYE and texted Mike to wish him a good new year. He tried to goad me with insults, which is just so typical. But I was in a good mood, so I let this taunts slide. We did bring up the possibility of doing a Golden Globes contest. We didn't discuss prizes.
Yesterday I texted to see if he, Peter and their cute cute dog, Otis, were ok in the Northeast Bomb - with all the snow and cold. He's a fragile flower, so I had to make sure he was safe. Mike that is, not Otis. Otis is strong.
First off, when nearing a snow emergency where the essentials fly off the shelves, the man is out of gin! I know, you're saying, 'so what?'. Gin to Mike is what water and air are to you and me. So it is a very big deal! I really don't know why he didn't call 9-1-1 or call the National Guard. Seemed like a life and death emergency to me.
The irony is: I'm the one sitting here in the dark writing this, as our power and heat went out. I'm suing my iPhone as a hot spot, as a way to get internet to the laptop so you all have something to read.
But since he's snowed in (not Snowden - which btw, is up for NOTHING.....and rightfully so), he has nothing but time to play this silly game.
It is the Golden Globes. Neither of us knew anyone who might be nominated, and it doesn't matter, as it is the Globes. For fuck sake - they gave an award to Madonna for Evita. There are no rules, apparently.
So put a blindfold on each of us, give us some darts and let the guessing games begin. ....of course, you'll also get my "witty" commentary.
Best Motion Picture - Drama "Call Me by Your Name" "Dunkirk" "The Post" "The Shape of Water" "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri"
I want it to be Three Billboards. It won't be.
Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy "The Disaster Artist" "Get Out" "The Greatest Showman" "I, Tonya" "Lady Bird"
Because no one - and I mean no one - wants a Hugh Jackman vehicle to win. And who doesn't love a living disaster known as Tonya?
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama Jessica Chastain, "Molly's Game" Sally Hawkins, "The Shape of Water" Frances McDormand, "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" Meryl Streep, "The Post" Michelle Williams, "All the Money in the World"
I want it to be McDormand. It won't be.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama Timothée Chalamet, "Call Me by Your Name" Daniel Day-Lewis, "Phantom Thread" Tom Hanks, "The Post" Gary Oldman, "Darkest Hour" Denzel Washington, "Roman J. Israel, Esq.
He is getting good press, that Sirius Black.
Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy Judi Dench, "Victoria & Abdul" Margot Robbie, "I, Tonya" Saoirse Ronan, "Lady Bird" Emma Stone, "Battle of the Sexes" Helen Mirren, "The Leisure Seeker"
....because, what is life without whimsy?
Best Director Guillermo del Toro, "The Shape of Water" Martin McDonagh, "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" Christopher Nolan, "Dunkirk" Ridley Scott, "All The Money in the World" Steven Spielberg, "The Post"
Haven't seen it, but oy, the raves.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy Steve Carell, "Battle of the Sexes" Ansel Elgort, "Baby Driver" James Franco, "The Disaster Artist" Hugh Jackman, "The Greatest Showman" Daniel Kaluuya, "Get Out"
Because I've never heard of him. It's Golden Globes gold!
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture Mary J. Blige, "Mudbound" Hong Chau, "Downsizing" Allison Janney, "I, Tonya" Laurie Metcalf, "Lady Bird" Octavia Spencer, "The Shape of Water"
Metcalf is good. The material is fair, but she made the most of it.
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture Willem Dafoe, "The Florida Project" Armie Hammer, "Call Me by Your Name" Richard Jenkins, "The Shape of Water" Christopher Plummer, "All the Money in the World" Sam Rockwell, "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri"
While I'd love to see Hammer get this, or Rockwell - because he was great - everyone is loving hating Kevin Spacey (present company included) and nothing gives the middle finger to him than rewarding his last minute replacement.
Best Original Score in a Motion Picture "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" "The Shape of Water" "Phantom Thread" "The Post" "Dunkirk"
I mean, why not?
Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture "The Shape of Water" "Lady Bird" "The Post" "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" "Molly's Game"
Because words = Sorkin. And as much as I liked Lady Bird, it wasn't that original.
Best Motion Picture - Foreign Language "A Fantastic Woman" "First They Killed My Father" "In the Fade" "Loveless" "The Square" Best Animated Film "The Boss Baby" "The Breadwinner" "Ferdinand" "Coco" "Loving Vincent"
I still don't get what a 'foreign language' movie is to the Hollywood Foreign Press. It will most likely be Coco, because Pixar and the overwhelming xenophobia of this country, and the HFP will show BLOTUS with that win! But I'm still banking on Vincent.
Best TV series - Drama "The Crown" "Game of Thrones" "The Handmaid's Tale" "Stranger Things" "This Is Us"
It's the 'hollywood foreign press'. Britain is foreign. Case closed!
Best performance by Actress in a TV series - Drama Caitriona Balfe, "Outlander" Claire Foy, "The Crown" Maggie Gyllenhaal, "The Deuce" Katherine Langford, "13 Reasons Why" Elisabeth Moss, "The Handmaid's Tale"
Sure, a haggard looking whore is the role Maggie Gyllenhaal was made to play, but c'mon......it's gotta be Foy. Moss' Scientology-ism has made me lose all respect for her.
Best performance by an Actor in a TV Series - Drama Sterling K. Brown, "This is Us" Freddie Highmore, "The Good Doctor" Bob Odenkirk, "Better Call Saul" Liev Schreiber, "Ray Donovan" Jason Bateman, "Ozark"
Haven't seen a one of these. But you gotta figure Bateman is never gonna win another award, unless they re-re-make Teen Wolf II. Though I'd vote for Schreiber just so I can hear his voice at the podium.
Best TV series - Musical or Comedy "Black-ish" "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" "Master of None" "SMILF" "Will & Grace"
What the fuck is a SMILF? You know what - I don't even wanna know. And srsly with that crap-fest, Will & Grace? It. Is. Horrible. 3 of the 4 have had horrible plastic surgery - and the one who hasn't is Karen. I'd like Master of None to win, but save a few of the episodes, it was only a fair season. I am so in love with the horribly named, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.....it should totally win.
Best performance by an Actor in a TV series - Musical or Comedy Anthony Anderson, "Black-ish" Aziz Ansari "Master of None" Kevin Bacon, "I Love Dick" William H. Macy, "Shameless" Eric McCormack, "Will and Grace"
Because of the competition, Ansari should win. g-d help me it will be Anderson.
Best performance by an Actress in a TV series - Musical or Comedy Pamela Adlon, "Better Things" Alison Brie, "Glow" Issa Rae, "Insecure" Rachel Brosnahan, "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" Frankie Shaw, "SMILF"
See two above. Don't rule out Brie. She kind of rules on Glow. And I do love Rae, though there might be enough questionable language in there to rule it out.....and whatever clip they could show would have to be brief due to that.
Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television "Big Little Lies" "Fargo" "Feud: Bette and Joan" "The Sinner" "Top of the Lake: China Girl"
Was able to stand about 18 minutes of Bette and Joan. I think I was quite generous.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Robert De Niro, "The Wizard of Lies" Jude Law, "The Young Pope" Kyle MacLachlan, "Twin Peaks" Ewan McGregor, "Fargo" Geoffrey Rush, "Genius"
He doesn't deserve it, but he'll probably get it.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Jessica Biel, "The Sinner" Nicole Kidman, "Big Little Lies" Jessica Lange, "Feud: Bette and Joan" Susan Sarandon, "Feud: Bette and Joan" Reese Witherspoon, "Big Little Lies"
Eh - I can't help but root for Kidman for some reason. It won't be Witherfork. I don't care what anyone says, Sarandon and Lange sucked balls. .....and not in that good way.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Alfred Molina, "Feud" Alexander Skarsgard, "Big Little Lies" David Thewlis, "Fargo" David Harbour, "Stranger Things" Christian Slater, "Mr. Robot"
I'm THE one guy who hasn't watched Stranger Things. But I do like Harbour. Though Slater is kind of in that Bateman camp - when is he ever gonna have another chance to win something?
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Laura Dern, "Big Little Lies" Ann Dowd, "The Handmaid's Tale" Chrissy Metz, "This is Us" Michelle Pfeiffer, "The Wizard of Lies" Shailene Woodley, "Big Little
I loved Woodley in the Descendants. Pfeiffer was ok, but it's a thankless role. Don't vote for Laura Dern, lest you endure Raybeard's ire.
So let the best man win. Or Mike. Either or.
Song by: Patty Griffin