Friday, January 05, 2018

Cold as it Gets

Does my face hurt?  ...Cause it's killing you!

I might be paraphrasing that "joke".

But it's chilly here, like it most places. Single digits for the highs lately. ...and when I say single digits, 8 or 9 are not the options.  3 and 4 are of which we speak....and that's before wind chill factors.

Anyhoo........I was being nice on NYE and texted Mike to wish him a good new year. He tried to goad me with insults, which is just so typical. But I was in a good mood, so I let this taunts slide. We did bring up the possibility of doing a Golden Globes contest. We didn't discuss prizes.

Yesterday I texted to see if he, Peter and their cute cute dog, Otis, were ok in the Northeast Bomb -  with all the snow and cold. He's a fragile flower, so I had to make sure he was safe.  Mike that is, not Otis. Otis is strong.

First off, when nearing a snow emergency where the essentials fly off the shelves, the man is out of gin!  I know, you're saying, 'so what?'.   Gin to Mike is what water and air are to you and me. So it is a very big deal!  I really don't know why he didn't call 9-1-1 or call the National Guard.  Seemed like a life and death emergency to me.

The irony is: I'm the one sitting here in the dark writing this, as our power and heat went out. I'm suing my iPhone as a hot spot, as a way to get internet to the laptop so you all have something to read.

But since he's snowed in (not Snowden - which btw, is up for NOTHING.....and rightfully so), he has nothing but time to play this silly game.

It is the Golden Globes. Neither of us knew anyone who might be nominated, and it doesn't matter, as it is the Globes. For fuck sake - they gave an award to Madonna for Evita. There are no rules, apparently.

So put a blindfold on each of us, give us some darts and let the guessing games begin.  ....of course, you'll also get my "witty" commentary.


Movies 
Best Motion Picture - Drama "Call Me by Your Name"  "Dunkirk" "The Post" "The Shape of Water" "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri"

I want it to be Three Billboards. It won't be.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy "The Disaster Artist" "Get Out" "The Greatest Showman" "I, Tonya" "Lady Bird"

Because no one - and I mean no one - wants a Hugh Jackman vehicle to win. And who doesn't love a living disaster known as Tonya?

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama Jessica Chastain, "Molly's Game" Sally Hawkins, "The Shape of Water" Frances McDormand, "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" Meryl Streep, "The Post" Michelle Williams, "All the Money in the World"

I want it to be McDormand. It won't be.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama Timothée Chalamet, "Call Me by Your Name" Daniel Day-Lewis, "Phantom Thread" Tom Hanks, "The Post" Gary Oldman, "Darkest Hour" Denzel Washington, "Roman J. Israel, Esq.

He is getting good press, that Sirius Black. 

Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy Judi Dench, "Victoria & Abdul" Margot Robbie, "I, Tonya" Saoirse Ronan, "Lady Bird" Emma Stone, "Battle of the Sexes" Helen Mirren, "The Leisure Seeker"

....because, what is life without whimsy?

Best Director Guillermo del Toro, "The Shape of Water" Martin McDonagh, "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" Christopher Nolan, "Dunkirk" Ridley Scott, "All The Money in the World" Steven Spielberg, "The Post"

Haven't seen it, but oy, the raves. 

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy Steve Carell, "Battle of the Sexes" Ansel Elgort, "Baby Driver" James Franco, "The Disaster Artist" Hugh Jackman, "The Greatest Showman" Daniel Kaluuya, "Get Out"

Because I've never heard of him. It's Golden Globes gold!

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture Mary J. Blige, "Mudbound" Hong Chau, "Downsizing" Allison Janney, "I, Tonya" Laurie Metcalf, "Lady Bird" Octavia Spencer, "The Shape of Water"

Metcalf is good. The material is fair, but she made the most of it. 

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture Willem Dafoe, "The Florida Project" Armie Hammer, "Call Me by Your Name" Richard Jenkins, "The Shape of Water" Christopher Plummer, "All the Money in the World" Sam Rockwell, "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri"

While I'd love to see Hammer get this, or Rockwell - because he was great - everyone is loving hating Kevin Spacey (present company included) and nothing gives the middle finger to him than rewarding his last minute replacement. 

Best Original Score in a Motion Picture "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" "The Shape of Water" "Phantom Thread" "The Post" "Dunkirk"

I mean, why not? 

Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture "The Shape of Water" "Lady Bird" "The Post" "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" "Molly's Game"

Because words = Sorkin.  And as much as I liked Lady Bird, it wasn't that original. 

Best Motion Picture - Foreign Language "A Fantastic Woman" "First They Killed My Father" "In the Fade" "Loveless" "The Square" Best Animated Film "The Boss Baby" "The Breadwinner" "Ferdinand" "Coco" "Loving Vincent"

I still don't get what a 'foreign language' movie is to the Hollywood Foreign Press.  It will most likely be Coco, because Pixar and the overwhelming xenophobia of this country, and the HFP will show BLOTUS with that win! But I'm still banking on Vincent

TV 
Best TV series - Drama "The Crown" "Game of Thrones" "The Handmaid's Tale" "Stranger Things" "This Is Us"

It's the 'hollywood foreign press'. Britain is foreign. Case closed!

Best performance by Actress in a TV series - Drama Caitriona Balfe, "Outlander" Claire Foy, "The Crown" Maggie Gyllenhaal, "The Deuce" Katherine Langford, "13 Reasons Why" Elisabeth Moss, "The Handmaid's Tale"

Sure, a haggard looking whore is the role Maggie Gyllenhaal was made to play, but c'mon......it's gotta be Foy.  Moss' Scientology-ism has made me lose all respect for her. 

Best performance by an Actor in a TV Series - Drama Sterling K. Brown, "This is Us" Freddie Highmore, "The Good Doctor" Bob Odenkirk, "Better Call Saul" Liev Schreiber, "Ray Donovan" Jason Bateman, "Ozark"

Haven't seen a one of these. But you gotta figure Bateman is never gonna win another award, unless they re-re-make Teen Wolf II.  Though I'd vote for Schreiber just so I can hear his voice at the podium. 

Best TV series - Musical or Comedy "Black-ish" "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" "Master of None" "SMILF" "Will & Grace"

What the fuck is a SMILF?  You know what - I don't even wanna know. And srsly with that crap-fest, Will & Grace? It. Is. Horrible. 3 of the 4 have had horrible plastic surgery - and the one who hasn't is Karen.  I'd like Master of None to win, but save a few of the episodes, it was only a fair season. I am so in love with the horribly named, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.....it should totally win. 

Best performance by an Actor in a TV series - Musical or Comedy Anthony Anderson, "Black-ish" Aziz Ansari "Master of None" Kevin Bacon, "I Love Dick" William H. Macy, "Shameless" Eric McCormack, "Will and Grace"

Because of the competition, Ansari should win. g-d help me it will be Anderson. 

Best performance by an Actress in a TV series - Musical or Comedy Pamela Adlon, "Better Things" Alison Brie, "Glow" Issa Rae, "Insecure" Rachel Brosnahan, "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" Frankie Shaw, "SMILF"

See two above. Don't rule out Brie. She kind of rules on Glow. And I do love Rae, though there might be enough questionable language in there to rule it out.....and whatever clip they could show would have to be brief due to that. 

Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television "Big Little Lies" "Fargo" "Feud: Bette and Joan" "The Sinner" "Top of the Lake: China Girl"

Was able to stand about 18 minutes of Bette and Joan. I think I was quite generous. 

Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Robert De Niro, "The Wizard of Lies" Jude Law, "The Young Pope" Kyle MacLachlan, "Twin Peaks" Ewan McGregor, "Fargo" Geoffrey Rush, "Genius"

He doesn't deserve it, but he'll probably get it. 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Jessica Biel, "The Sinner" Nicole Kidman, "Big Little Lies" Jessica Lange, "Feud: Bette and Joan" Susan Sarandon, "Feud: Bette and Joan" Reese Witherspoon, "Big Little Lies"

Eh - I can't help but root for Kidman for some reason. It won't be Witherfork.  I don't care what anyone says, Sarandon and Lange sucked balls.   .....and not in that good way. 

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Alfred Molina, "Feud" Alexander Skarsgard, "Big Little Lies" David Thewlis, "Fargo" David Harbour, "Stranger Things" Christian Slater, "Mr. Robot"

I'm THE one guy who hasn't watched Stranger Things. But I do like Harbour. Though Slater is kind of in that Bateman camp - when is he ever gonna have another chance to win something? 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Laura Dern, "Big Little Lies" Ann Dowd, "The Handmaid's Tale" Chrissy Metz, "This is Us" Michelle Pfeiffer, "The Wizard of Lies" Shailene Woodley, "Big Little 
Lies" 

I loved Woodley in the Descendants. Pfeiffer was ok, but it's a thankless role. Don't vote for Laura Dern, lest you endure Raybeard's ire. 



So let the best man win.  Or Mike.  Either or.


 Song by: Patty Griffin

6 comments:

Raybeard said...

'Ta' for the plug, B, but I don't actively DISlike Laura Dern. It's just that in so many of her earlier flix she always screwed up her face ridiculously when playing sad (or disappointed) that it was a moment I looked out for, though not in a good way - and I can never get it out of my expectations even though she hasn't done it for some time, including it not happening in the latest 'Star Wars'.

As for your comment that "NO ONE wants a Hugh Jackman vehicle to win" - WRONG!

Haven't yet seen the majority of other films you mention (yet) even though a goodly number of them are British, so judgment on those is suspended. Ditto ALL the TV stuff, not being a great telly watcher.

So keep out of the 'cold' (such an inadequate word!) as much as you can - your weather (NOT climate!) is high on our daily news now. Don't want to be reading that any of your appendages have frozen and broken off.
And I'll shortly be ticking off your Globe predictions.

'

GregM said...

SMILF (Single Mom) is really good. You should check it out. Frankie Shaw is great and Rosie O'Donnell plays her mother who almost brought me to tears (with her sadness) two episodes ago.

Deedles said...

Won't be watching. I've never heard of the vast majority of these let alone seen them. I'll stick to my feel good never nominated stuff. Do they still have that unspoken rule, you know, the drearier and depressing a movie, the more it is art and deserves to win? I shall remain a Philistine.

Fearsome Beard said...

Yesterday was 70 degrees here, last nights low 61, today’s forecast high is 69. Just rubbin’ it in.

Anonymous said...

Good morning dear hearts: Who could have guessed that the award season would sneak up on us so quickly?

First things first — I am still out of gin. No, we are not snowed in, but just too lazy to get the liquor store. Contributions welcomed.

Second things second — I don’t recall trying to “goad” this blog’s author on New Year’s Eve. I was probably just being my usual giving and loving self and my missives were mis-interpreted. Blobby is sooo sensitive.

Third things third — Aside from a recent trip to see “The Shape of Water” (didn’t care for it. Nope. Not one little bit.) over my holiday vacation, we’ve not ventured out to see the films that are nominated for this year’s awards. And for TV? Aside from our TIVO’d episodes of anything on The Food Channel, I’m not much of a TV hound. But a job is a job. And my job this sunny Sunday morning is to teach this blog’s author about winning. Winning big. And winning big with grace.

So read on, dear hearts, as we dissect the “best” films and TV shows of 2017.

(Let it be known that the author of this blog might be trying to trip me up by “condensing” the foreign language and animated film into one paragraph (tsk tsk), I’m on to his games.

MOVIES

Best Motion Picture - Drama
Let’s go “Dunkirk” on this one. Will kick myself if “The Shape of Water” takes it home.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Can you say “Lady Bird”?

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
I’m going with Meryl Streep, just because the Globes want her to make another anti-Trump speech.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Didn’t see any of these performances. But keep hearing about Daniel Day-Lewis and his amazing take in this film. Supposedly his last film. The Golden Globes will honor him tonight.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Satires Ronan. Saw her host SNL a few weeks ago. Funny lady. And loved her in “Brooklyn” a few years back about a young Irish woman coming to America. Probably a little too high-brow for the author of this blog. Just sayin’.

Best Director
I’m torn. Don’t want “The Shape of Water” to get this one, but he is pretty “buzzy”. Didn’t see “Dunkirk” but hear that it is amazing. I will go with Guillermo del Toro with a heavy heart.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Let’s say James Franco. He’s cute.

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Alison Janney. C’mon. Who doesn’t love Allison Janney? And sorry Octavia. That’s not Globe worthy.

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
I’ll go with Sam Rockwell on this one. Didn’t see the film. Wouldn’t know Mr. Rockwell if I tripped over him on the street. But I like his name.

Best Original Score in a Motion Picture
I’ll go with Dunkirk because I assume it’s a sweeping score.

Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture
Let’s go with Lady Bird.

Best Motion Picture - Foreign Language
We did see this one! The Square. Unsettling, dark comedy

Best Animated Film
Coco

Anonymous said...

PART TWO

TV

Best TV series - Drama
Sound like a broken record here — Didn’t see it, but voting for it anyway. “The Handmaid’s Tale”. But “The Crown” could upset the apple cart here. (Didn’t see that either.)

Best performance by Actress in a TV series - Drama
Claire Foy. Because I trust the author of this blog. To some degree.

Best performance by an Actor in a TV Series - Drama
Freddie Highmore. The Globes love to throw a bone.

Best TV series - Musical or Comedy
Will and Grace. Snarky comments from the author of this blog aside (and again — have not seen one episode of this re-upped show), it seems to be proving that re-booting a series is possible. Plastic surgery? Meh. Who among us has not had a nip or tuck or two?

Best performance by an Actor in a TV series - Musical or Comedy
Eric McCormack. Perhaps one of the plastic surgery “victims” alluded to by the author of this blog?

Best performance by an Actress in a TV series - Musical or Comedy
Rachel Bresnahan. Who’s she?

Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
“Big Little Lies”. The author of this blog and I had different experiences, certainly. We loved “Feud” — clever, well-acted, great story-telling. We made it through about 10 minutes of the first episode of “Big Little Lies”. Yawn. Didn’t care. I vote for it because all of the “star power” behind it.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Robert DeNiro. He’s a big star after all.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Nicole Kidman for the win. But it pains me to vote for her. Was really turned off when she, while accepting the Emmy last fall for this award, went on and on about the hardships she faced while filming the series. And how she had to explain to her children why mommy couldn’t be home to tuck them in at night. Blech. Poor little rich girl.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Alexander Skarsgard. He gets the James Franco edge for being cute.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Chrissy Metz. Why not?