Saturday, October 27, 2012
My Ever Changing Moods
What I feel to be myself maybe isn't quite myself. I'm thinking I've been a bit off and maybe for so long that it's been quite the norm.
One gets into such patterns and so gradually, you just don't know you've changed, for better or worse. And even worse, you don't know how to change back, if that's what you choose to do.
I kind of had an notice that maybe I'm flowing through things the way I used to.
Change isn't always bad - thought most people resist it. I do. Or can.
It is how you deal and cope with it that tests you. And at a certain age, change can be daunting, but recognizing it and what you do with it is vital.
I know I'm quite vague here. I could be more specific, but I opt not to be.
It's not that I don't lay it all out here (or mostly), but I'm not sure what it is I am laying out, at this time, or if I even want to. I'm internalizing and externalizing, to a point, at the same time.
Frustrating for me.
It's been a tough week. It's been a tough day. But I have to say, I have an amazing family. And while I joke about my parents and sisters here, they are good folks, but I have to tell you, I have an amazing set of cousins - first, second and third cousins. Hell, even their spouses are great.
For whatever one goes through throughout the day, just hanging with them, even if you sit back and observe and say little, even in hard times, it is nice to have that kind of family. But more than family, they are friends.
...and you can't always say that about your family.
Here's to better days.
Song by: the Style Council