Thursday, October 11, 2012
I never know how to feel about National Coming Out Day.
Maybe it's age and / or time, but I just don't care that much anymore. There is no timeline to say when to come out.
...and yes, I know that is not the intent. The intent is to bring awareness that gay folk should be proud and come out, at least eventually. Not on Oct 11th.
In reality, there is no day to come out. We've been doing it our entire lives and most likely will continue that.
Yes, friends and family know. Even my neighbors. I mean, c'mon, we're listed in the neighborhood directory: two men's names and we're too old to be "roommates".
But some workers don't know - and since I work remotely, they just won't know my story. My clients don't know. My staff don't necessarily know. But invariably, someone will ask if I'm married, or about my wife or about my kids.
Then it gets tricky.
Yeah, you want to be honest, but you have to balance with pride, their right to know, and keeping the status quo with a client who not only really doesn't care, but is in a very very conservative business or location. And it is my work and not my personal life that is what I'm there for. So yeah, now and again, I skirt the issue.
It doesn't help educate them or become more tolerant when I avoid (but not lie), but it is a balance. My company didn't hire me to be a spokesman for anything other than them.
Don't get me wrong, I've had staff members say vague gay comments (not the good kind), and I will call them on it and tell them I am gay as are many others in the company and how inappropriate they are, but in general, I don't announce my gaydom just to announce it.
I know guys who do and will and that's fine. I don't think we should all be the same in that regard. There are the fierce advocates who must tell everyone all the time, there are the do-nothings and then there are those of us in between.
But unlike the straights, there isn't a time we're done telling people who we are, because others just assume....and you know how that goes.
Song by: Curt Smith