Friday, July 23, 2010

Troublesome Waters

Troublesome indeed, Ms. DeMent. Troublesome indeed.

Maybe it's just me, but $30,164.36 is a lot to pay for water and sewage for a three month period. Call me crazy!!!!!

What's a bill that is 156 times the normal amount? A pittance, I say.

Forget the fact that there are only two of us in the house. Forget the fact that I travel 50% of my life. Forget the fact that when I am home, four days per week I shower at the gym - and even if I bathe at home, I don't do it in a 15,000 gallon infinity pool that I drain and refill daily.

Yes, we have two cats with two water bowls - and yes, I do fill those once daily. It still seems like a high jump for me.

Granted, only some of that bill is for water. The other is for poop removal and such. I might cop to needing half that amount, but not $15,322. Not for flushing.

Since it is a utility, getting through to them would not be an easy task, so the first order of business was to turn off the automatic electronic bill pay. Where if they withdrew the funds and then acknowledged an error, we knew getting said funds back would take months if not longer. I can't go for that - no can do.

The big D finally got through to the H20 company and they asked for the account number. Before he had a chance to state the issue, the customer service rep, did the quick inhale and exclaimed "OH MY G-D!".

Clearly when she brought up the account, she brought up the balance too.

According to Denton, she was great and made sure no payment would be taken from us (as if!) and then arranged to have someone come out to read our meter - which is a little odd since the bill said it was an actual reading, though neither of us let anyone in the house to get one.

I wondered - out loud - what kind of corporation would actually have a water/sewage bill for this amount? I'm guessing one with 2,000 or more associates on site. Totally not us.

I also wondered that even if we had a water leak somewhere, a broken main, our house should have collapsed upon itself in the biggest sinkhole in Ohio history. But that hasn't happened either - and our dead lawn will tell you we haven't let the sprinklers run rampant, or at all.

I really wonder why when bill of a certain amount size is generated - say $10,000 or more - that it doesn't get a frickin' automatic review.

So hopefully it will all be resolved in a week or so - oh, and they won't turn off our water in the process.

Song by: Iris DeMent


Cubby said...

All the good stuff always happens to you.

You should try these water-saving techniques:
-Flush only once per day
-Shit only at work
-Only shower at the gym
-Stop brushing your teeth
-Use only paper plates and cups and seal the dishwasher shut
-Dry clean all clothes

You'll see a big difference in your bill next time, I guarantee it.

AJohnP said...

Holy Cow!!! That's craziness.
Please keep us posted as to how long it takes them to fix the error...assuming they admit they made one in the first place. :-)

Birdie said...

The level of ludicrousness will be offset only by the ineptitude of customer service, if my experience is any indication. I think you were smart to block autopay.

david Joseph said...

Hah, I have been fighting a $1200 mistake for 18 months, welcome to purgatories waiting room.

cb said...

Are you SURE you didn't rack up that total using a shower shot one weekend??