Saturday, June 26, 2010

A Singer Must Die

I told Denton I wasn't going to blog about it, but he talked me into it - well....a little.

We did our usual summer Friday night date-night at the Grotto and were greeted by this douchebag. Mike Someone-or-other. Worst. Hired. Talent. Ever.

Normally they do not have "talent", let alone outside. First, he was way too loud. And he was wayyyy too bad. A career-lethal combo, if you axe me. ...and I guess there really is no second. First says it all.

Of course there was his choice of music: all mid-70s. A few Elton John, and Eagles number and lest we forget Pink Floyd. Yes - Pink Floyd. He also did a version of Journey's "Faithfully" that made Finn from 'Glee' sound passable.

I loved how was off by a few keys on any number of songs, where he had to shift both hands to make things not so flat. Unfortunately he didn't have that kind of talent to do the same maneuver with his voice. HORRID.

There were times in mid-word (not even mid-line) he had to change keys octaves. Total octaves. He was beyond bad. And seriously loud. I couldn't hear Denton at all, or Angela, our waitress - whom I complained to about the hired help.

She knew it was bad and so did the management. Too little; too late. Angela tried to compare him to Steve Buescmi in the Wedding Singer. But she added, "though he's not funny".

Laughable, I thought - but no, not funny.

Song by: Leonard Cohen


Cubby said...

I would not have stayed, and I'm surprised you did.

david Joseph said...

All that time at the gym working out. All those hours in random airports being frustrated over late connections. Why the fuck didn't you just go John Belushi on him and wrap that plastic keyboard around him like christmas bow and stuff him in the speaker cabinet?

Blobby said...

Oh David you know why - all those outstanding warrants and restraining orders.....