Monday, June 07, 2010

Don't Pay the Ferryman

I'm starting this post while sitting at the Albany airport. I'm doing this on a Sunday afternoon. And I'm not a happy camper.

Let's start out that in the three weeks since I flew to Burlington last, the cheapest direct flight went up by about $700!!! Fuck you, Continental!

Second, to get to Vermont on a Sunday, I had to go through Philly, the worst airport in the world - and with an entire 25 minutes from land to boarding. Note that I said land, not deplane. Fuck you, UScare!

Then we push off on-time - but don't you always? I mean, the airlines have to keep up their faux "on-time rates". It doesn't matter we sit on the tarmac for 45 minutes. Fuck you, PHL!

I'm thinking if we took off on-time, we might have been able to land on-time at the correct airport....or even the correct state! But no, we after flying for about an hour longer than the flight was supposed to take, the pilot diverted to Albany, well because we couldn't land (allegedly) and oh yeah, we were out of fuel. Or in danger of. Yes, had we taken off on-time, we might have avoided the storm. Fuck you Mr. Texaco Man and Mother Nature!

Mind you, this is the day and age of gadgets and portable electronic devices. Maybe there was bad weather when they opted to delay, but the second I got off the plane and logged on to my laptop to, there is nothing....and I mean nothing....on the radar screen for the entire state of Vermont in the ways of precipitation. Fuck you, Mr. Wussy Pilot!

And yes David, I now am the angriest black man you know!

On the plus side.....this was sitting next to me in the Albany airport waiting for his flight to DC. I'm not saying the diversion was worth it, least it's something.

...and as airports go, the Albany one doesn't suck nearly as bad as many I have been in.

So, it gets better. They decide not to fly into VT but they will get us a bus in about 90 minutes. The three hour ride will take over four hours. Fuck you again, UScare!!! I grabbed my bags and headed to the car rental.
Normally, I wouldn't get a car with a GPS in it, but I am in NY and have to get to VT - what do I care, the company is paying for it. Oh, and the extra cost for not driving the car back to its original destination. I get a Ford Flex; part Woody; part hearse. Seats 12. Yet it's only me in the car. Actually, I hate to say this about Ford, but it was a nice ride. Smooth and comfortable.

But I did use the GPS - and to a fault. I mean, I had no idea where I was to go. But it put me on the NY Throughway. I had forgotten about this road. Oh, I've been on it with Denton back in our early years - and by means of a miracle, after the fact we are still together. Remind me sometime to write that post! But after 180 miles, the GPS leads me not to a road, but to the Grand Isle Ferry.

I swear on my mother's would-be grave, I as we crossed in the grey, cold rain, with the little white caps, I saw two things: my cold watery grave or that I was enacting some scenes from Delores Claiborne.

12 hours door to door. Planes, Ferrys and Automobiles. Yeah, it just doesn't have the same ring - does it?

Song by: Chris DeBurgh


Breenlantern said...

You were 20 minutes from me...sigh....

tornwordo said...

You probably could have just driven from home in that amount of time.

Oh and I have always waited more than half an hour at Phillie to take off. It's just a built in thing there I think.

Cubby said...

Pilots these days are mega-pussies. But who can blame them? Everybody sues at the drop of a hat nowadays.

This was a great post Blobby. Does it ease your mind to know that the shit you go through makes me grin and giggle? I don't mean that in a mean way, only the most friendly way. The compounding suckiness of your day... better you than me!

You should have offered to take some fellow travelers to Vermont with you at $25 per head (or more) to earn a little extra drinking money.

anne marie in philly said...

sweet mother of pearl!

we had nothing in philly yesterday in the way of storms, but our airport S-U-X on toast. USAir being the dominant carrier, they feel they can do whatever they want, screw the public! there HAS to be a better way to get you from CLE to VT!

Anonymous said...

This year in Ohio it is the "don't pay the Danny Ferry Man."