Sunday, October 11, 2009

Day In Day Out

National Coming Out Day. Yawn.

It's a day? It's a frickin' life time process - and one that straight folk don't have to do. They don't have to tell people they are straight on a monthly, weekly or daily basis. It's just assumed.

...but it's nothing that can be relegated to a day. And while I know the day is of awareness, I'm not sure that day hasn't outlived its usefulness. I think we're out there doing it daily. We have to - because it can't be avoided.

I've been at this job for almost 10 months now. Weekly someone asks about "my wife" - as I will assume it is because I wear a ring. On a weekly basis I have to inform them I am not married and before they even ask '...but why the ring...?' I just go on and tell them I am partnered.

I have had no ill feedback, crumpled up noses or even a sign of surprise at the news. The surprise comes when they eventually ask how long we've been together and then I provide the answer. The time we've been together usually adds up longer than their marriage(s) - or the time they had been married and divorced combined.

Hopefully, in a subtle/not-so-subtle way, that information makes the point that relationships like ours do not defy the sanctity of their two or three nuptials. But this isn't about gay marriage exactly.

It's about coming out - and being comfortable with it. Or becoming comfortable with it. It's taken a long time for some of us - myself included - with this comfort. But the more often I say it, the easier it is, regardless of the situation or environment.

I used to laugh on campus when to show your support for National Coming Out Day you were supposed to wear - gasp! - denim. students wearing jeans! That'll show 'em. All you fag supporters on your way to Econ 101 in your dungarees. Seriously, what were the GLB (yes, it used to be GLB before LGB and LGBT) offices thinking?

Maybe they planned it with a sense of irony - but my guess is they really didn't.

With so many gay issues out there now - I don't know where NCOD ranks in importance. Maybe I'm too far removed from that - since it is a regular occurrence. Maybe it's just for the first-timers.

Song by: Diana Krall

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