Fast as You Can
...so on Saturday, I got pulled over and given a ticket for speeding.
Would it surprise you to know that I have never been ticketed in all my years of driving? It's true.
I've been pulled over four times and never ticketed. Once, they not only should have fined me, but probably hauled me in. I had had a few drinks, but was not drunk. Speeding? Yes. And I ran a four-way stop sign where two cops sat. And still they let me go.
It must have been my devastating good looks. Or my winning personality. Yeah - that's it.
At my last job, I logged a few hundred miles a month by way of driving. And I flew. Not on a plane, but down the highway. I never got pulled over. I'd tell people this and they would say 'don't say that, you'll jinx yourself'. Quite the opposite, I'd think. I figured if I said it, I'd continue my lucky streak.
Saturday I was not so lucky. After working out and then buying pastries for my mother to take to her for Mother's Day, I was going 38 in a 25. I'm not trying to let myself off the hook here, honest. I was speeding. I got caught. But I wasn't even able to keep up with the two cars ahead of me. Sometimes it is just the luck of the draw.
I kind of thought he'd give me a warning as when he checked my priors he'd find I had none. But no, we're in cash-strapped times - and no tax levies have passed in a few years. Our roads are for shit and our services diminished. Catching law-breakers is our revenue generation these days.
So the fine? $150 !!!!!
The funny thing is - I'm not even upset. How can I be?
If there was any rub to the situation - the cop was not hot. Not by a long shot. But hot cops are like the Holy Grail - or mythological creatures. The chances of them looking more like Chief Wiggum is even money. Eye candy would have been nice. I should have gotten something out of the situation - right?
And I did - a ticket.
Song by: Fiona Apple
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