Monday, August 02, 2010


My groin is vibrating.

Yeah - you heard me correctly.

Years ago when I had my leg/cancer surgery, I had a plate and nine pins inserted where my right femur used to be. For a long time, and even now and again, that "leg" will vibrate like a pager is going off inside of me. It doesn't hurt but it can last for hours and is a little annoying.

Starting this last Friday, on the way to Columbus, I had the same thing start up in my crotchal region. I knew you'd want to know. At first I thought I had my iPhone in my lap and someone was texting me or calling. Nope. The phone wasn't even on my physical being. Curious.

It has been pretty consistent throughout the weekend - ask Denton, Morty, Meredith or Becky. I kind of made a big deal out of it - day in/day out. Ask the nurse at Riverside who was roped into the conversation she wasn't meant to be a part of. The RN tried to imply that a friend, who is a HAM radio operator said these things happened due to frequencies - especially in the freezer section of a grocery.

Lady - you took care of a friend of ours well, but this is complete hooey!

The vibrations were bugging me out a bit, only because of the amount of times it happened (a different kind of frequency - if you will). That, and I couldn't figure out what was what.

On the 1,182nd time it happened, we happened to be almost home to Cleveland. In frustration I kind of smacked my lower abs and groin area in a 'what the hell is going on' kind of gesture. And it did it again.

...and then again, each and everytime I touched myself......down there. No.....not "down there!". Clean it up, folks.

Then it dawned on me. On either side of my groin, I have kevlar from my multiple hernia surgeries. You know, kevlar is like the non-Middle Earth version of mithril. It can be used in surgery as well as body armour. Good against bullets and Orcs.

I would also assume that something has made it reverberate at certain times when I move or touch around where it's placed. Why now, though? It's not like I haven't had it in for almost 10 years.

I won't make a special trip to the doctor about it, but will bring it up next time I'm there. Until then, I'll just keep jiggling inside.

Song by: Rufus Wainwright


AJohnP said...

Please keep us posted if your doctor sheds any light on the situation. I had hernia surgery 12 years ago, but I honestly have no idea what they put inside me. I do know that it's never vibrated though. :-)

PS - loved the pics in your previous post...those are some cute pets!!!

Cubby said...

Finally, the evidence you've been looking for to prove you were abducted by aliens. Perhaps it's the embryo stirring inside you.

anne marie in philly said...

gettin' jiggy wit it!

good good good good vibrations!

SORRY, dear blobby...the thought was too good to waste!

interesting to read about this; the body is a wonderful instrument.

Ur-spo said...

That sounds rather pesky and a nuisance.

on the positive, it must be good for supper invite.