Wednesday, March 10, 2010

In My Car (I'll Be the Driver)

I was told I didn't have to give credit, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention my cousin David actually sent me this story. ...and yes, he knows I'm using it, or was at least planning to. And he might read it too, since Denton outed me last weekend as a blogger.

I'm not sure why I even care, but I have an easier time of virtual strangers reading about my ramblings of life than people I know (of course Becca, Morty, Jon and Dith excluded). Denton barely reads my blog. His excuse is: he has to live it. Fair enough.

But David claims to dig it, and that makes me feel good. You know I'm alllll about the validation. It is possible some opinions mean more to me than others. I'm just sayin'.........

Anyways, back to the post.

You know I love stories of the absurd and this one doesn't fail to disappoint. This one has everything: the causeway to Key West, an ex-husband, a new boyfriend, a moving vehicle, DUIs, suspended licenses, and a very steady hand - and spread legs. And a ziz, of course.

I'm not a big ziz fan. No, really, it's true. But I'm thinking the only thing that would make the story better is if she were waxing, and downshifting. At the same time.

If convicted, she might get a year in the clink (Hoooogan!)

Song by: Shania Twain


Birdie said...

I know what you mean about friends and family reading your blog. I was recently outed on a NATIONAL newsletter from Faith In America, which linked to one of my recent posts and used my real name. Well, traffic is certainly up, but now I've got to tell my employer before somebody else does. I've already told my immediate boss, who is supportive. I think the senior pastor will be as well—and I've written all along as though he was reading—but it's different when someone you know is reading. It will change the tenor of my posts. I will be more careful and not as personal. Funny how I could be more intimate with strangers, isn't it. I'm out of the closet.

tornwordo said...

That was a funny story, I think I'll use it in class. What the hell is a ziz anyway? Urban dictionary says this:

ziz: very slang. this word can be used to substitute any other word when feeling lazy. Can mean your good friend, could be someone you hate, can mean a word you forgot.

Blobby said...

I should explain 'Ziz'. Eons ago, a friend's mother came across Madonna's "Open Your Heart" video - the one where she dances at peep shows.

The mom exclaimed: "You can see her ziz!!!"

I don't think it translates in French, Torn. You'll just have to use 'vagina' instead.

Cubby said...

I hope David's reading will not affect your writing. Is word likely to spread to your parents now? That would be fun.

I always wrote assuming that someday my mother would read my posts. That's why I used code words like "tossing salad" and "grumpy munchkin". BTW I still get up to 10 hits per day from people googling "tossing salad".