Thursday, June 25, 2009

Throw Me a Curve

Everything that's old is new again.

You can still buy Quisp cereal, if you look hard enough. They advertise for Fanta in the theaters. Morty still drinks Fresca. Spandau Ballet is threatening to come back on the scene. They (well, someone) are re-making that originally horrible g-ddamn movie Footloose.

It's like there isn't one new thought in the entire universe.

So I was not incredibly surprised to find this in the store the other day

Oh, how it made me smile. Impaling of little children be damned. To paraphrase that scene from Airplane: they knew what they were getting into, I say: "Let them die!"

Then I saw the little round red "disclaimer" near he bottom of the package. ROUND TIP.

You bunch of pussies! Man-up!

Grow a pair and put a metal spike on the bottom of a flighted plastic throwing object and let 'er rip!

I have yet to meet anyone who has been killed by a lawn dart (before the "accident, of course). Or anyone who has used one to kill. Though it would make a great CSI show. Probably the lesser Miami version, more so than Wad Vegas.

...but 'everyone's favourite lawn game'? Better than badminton? I mean, that has shuttlecocks. hehehe.

Song by: the Go-Gos


rebecca said...

That's WadS Vegas, friend!

tornwordo said...

god, do you remember playing "stretch" with steak knives? I haven't thought about that in years but I can't believe we used to do that.

Morty said...

Oh, so you were raised by sadistic carnies, too, Torn?