Friday, November 26, 2010

Love, Truth & Honesty

Brett Cajun kind of stepped in it with many readers on his post on Nov 23rd.

If you read the post at face value, you can understand some of the comments (which are many) he has received. But I don't read Brett at face offense to Brett.

When he goes off on his little tirades, I always read them very tongue-in-cheek, and that he's looking to incite way more than he believes what he commits to the blog.

If you don't care to go back and read, the short of it becomes that gay men like Kurt on Glee make Brett uncomfortable. His alleged downfall in the post is that Brett roots for the bully as opposed to Kurt, and then you can sprinkle in how he thinks gay men should or should not act.

....and the folks who comment go wild!

Let's say Brett is dead serious on any of these: so what? He's hardly alone, right now though he seems to the cheese.

In the gay blog world, we rally against those who hate us - the gays. Do you see how we do it? With hate.

Don't believe me, then read the comments on almost any JMG post - myself included. What Brett's commentors do not like is when we hate against our own - which guess what, we do all the time. Seriously, read JMG comments on any gay person/group who doesn't support what "we" think they should support. Myself included.

I don't advocate violence or hate, but guess what - some things make me uncomfortable, and yes, sometimes I avoid and sometimes it comes out with biting words.

It's true, on some level, for all those who commented on Brett's blog too, but they are singling out that post for some reason. Their being uncomfortable might not have to be with a gay person, but we all have our thresholds with some group or people.

Let us not forget that this is TV. TV who have us portrayed as the Kurt, as the Jack from Will & Grace (or worse - the sexless Will) or the Jody from Soap and the Uncle Arthur from Bewitched. Or worse - Rip Taylor and his confetti. We're only TV-worthy when we are snarky and/or over-the-top comical.

Let us also not forget that Kurt isn't all that nice of a person himself. We give him a pass because he is a gay character and they'll write a clever and funny line for him, but his actions and words are usually hate-filled themselves. That should make all of us uncomfortable.

How do some laugh part of it off as 'just a tv show' (Kurt being bitchy) on one hand then react in 180 fashion when someone is nasty to him? It doesn't and shouldn't work that way, but clearly it does.

Gay men have gotten called female names and pronouns by the football playing bully types for eons and we have hated it. So why do we as a community find it ok to not only co-opt that behaviour but to use it more freely than those bullies ever did? I have comfort level issues with this from either group.

Here is why I didn't mind Brett's post as much as others clearly did: I am a gay man. I love men and clearly have had sex with them. That does not make me a girl, or a gurrrrrl or a Miss Thing.

Don't demean me, and I won't demean you. Simple as that.

Song by: Bananarama


Brettcajun said...

Thank you for posting this boo. :)

Breenlantern said...

The major difference between yours post and Brett's post is that you did not take it a step further and advocate violence against people like Kurt. That seems to be the point everyone's missing. Also, Brett didn't indicate his hate for Kurt for being a bitch or his language or attitude, he hates him for being effeminate, a natural characteristic and affectation people like Kurt can't help, and then says he should be beaten for it.

Anonymous said...

Well said. I didn't take his post that seriously either.

Sean - I think all the characters on that show need a good ass-kicking. Each of them is likable but each of them have been mean and evil.

As far as hating stereo types, I'm uncomfortable when I see a couple of leather daddies (and I love me some leather daddies) in the grocery store - for them it is a choice. For gays like Kurt, Cameron or Jack - I think for the most part that they are born that way.

Jonny said...

Have we seen a "It gets better" post from Brett? I looked and didn't see any. I don't know Brett personally. For all I know, this Brett Cajun is a persona. But as someone who has read his blog, the only thing I get from him is his narcissism which is very unattractive.

A Lewis said...

Hey, it's the holidays....can't we all just go stand in long lines, get annoyed with kids and people, drive around looking for a parking spot, and then spend money on a credit card that we don't actually have in our pockets? What's all of this about calling people names?

tornwordo said...

I haven't read the post but in my experience, gays who lambaste those who are "queeny" for lack of a better word, really are just not sexually attracted to them. That's fine but a person's femininity should not be cause for inciting violence. I always think, "And if you were born the effeminate type???"

timbo said...

I live outside two small towns that straddle a western stateline and combined they have less than 2500 souls. My best friend is exactly the kind of guy that Brett is targeting. He's effiminate and shows his cards the minute he opens his mouth. But he has more courage than just about anyone I know. He lives openly as a gay man in a backwaters rural community---which truly takes a pair. In my book, he is the definition of man up.

For this honesty, he is respected by some of the most manly dudes on the planet and whether it's tribal members or long time residents, everyone loves him with the lone exception of a bunch of bitter old hags on the county fair committee (More on that in a minute).

I sometimes have to prove to people that I am gay because I don't fit the stereotypes. Yet I've always thought it ironic that the queen of the valley is better at turning a wrench than either I ( a former trucker) or most of our local Cabela's addicts. But he is not trying to be someone he's not.

He is such a fierce competitor at the county fair---taking "best of" in exotic Rooster breeding, flower arranging, Quilting, and Canning that the old hags on the fair committee secretely began enforcing ancient rules they'd never enforced before---knocking my boy right out of the competition at this years fair after he won everything hands down the previous year.

Who ever heard of making altitude adjustments in canning as a disqualifier? My boy vows revenge and next year those old hags are going down. Sadly Brett is missing out on some amazing people, who although they may come equipped with a purse that falls out of their mouth everytime they speak---that purse is loaded with a dead on accurate hand gun---should you ever need someone to watch your back.

Cubby said...

He sure did make a mess of things, didn't he?

There are a lot of things I'd like to say to him, none of which are complimentary and none of which a dozen other people haven't already said. At this point it would not be constructive, it would be just piling on. I'd rather be constructive.

I'll continue encouraging him to mature. To act more like 40 and less like 14.

We bloggers can kick a friend when he's down, or we can extend a hand to help him back on his feet. I'm choosing to extend my hand.

don said...

Wow. Brett plays the manly sport of tennis. LOL. You go gurl!