Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I'm Looking Through You

Here I sit at O'Hare International.

Yes, I'm writing this hours before publishing it. But I won't be walking through my door at home until after 23:00 and I will be in no mood to write anything. Such is the life of a traveling worker.

I got to ORD early in hopes of doing some work before my 20:05 flight, but then I found out there was an earlier bird home. Alas, I was not lucky enough to get on it as it was sold-out and everyone actually checked-in and showed up. Blast!

In my mind, I was all Mojo JoJo. But like him, my evil thoughts never pan out the way I want. That's probably for the best. I'm not as evil as I would like to think I am.

So as I stood in the security line, they moved me over to the one you see above. The one with the full-body scan machines.

Unlike others, I have zero issue about being looked into - or through. I got nothing to hide and you know, if they wanna look, I'll give them something to see!

As it turns out, they didn't want to see. Well TSA - get in line! You'd have just seen a metal plate and nine screws. Knock yourself out.

No, they just needed to speed up the regular metal detector stuff and used that line to scan my bags and liquids - blah blah blah. Oh well.

But it did remind me of a friend of mine who refused the full-body scan up in Boston. The poor young, nubile TSA agent really really tried to talk him into doing it, because if he refused, then the young nubile TSA agent had to pat him down......everywhere. My friend chose the pat down.

David (not my cousin) really didn't do it for the hands-on experience, he was just uneasy about the scan. I really don't get why, but that's his deal, not mine. To each his own.

He did relish in watching this poor guy squirm at having to do it. Maybe it was his first time. David has wondered what his partner or boss might think if he starts making more frequent trips to Boston.

Maybe he did do it for the hands-on experience!

Song by: the Beatles


AJohnP said...

Jealous! I want a pat-down. :-)

Cubby said...

Pat downs are fun, but there are some things a pat down can't find, like rectal bombs. Btw, I got my own little rectal bomb I need to drop in a few minutes, and I'd like to see the TSA try to stop me!

Birdie said...

I've been targeted more than once for that pat-down, years ago. What is it about me that makes people believe I'm capable of doing bad things? I'm the black sheep at work—a church! C'mon, I'm innocent!

Cubby: TMI. TMI. :)

Blobby said...

a. Not commenting at all on Cubby's comment.

b. Birdie - well you know all those religious zealots are the reason for screenings anyway, so....

But a friend once told me to watch who gets selected. They are ones who dress in darker clothing. She now dresses in pink and never gets stopped anymore. I'm usually in too much of a rush to notice that stuff.

anne marie in philly said...

cubby: BWHAHAHAHAHA! you go, dude!

Wonder Man said...

I don't mind, just as long as it is a cute security guard touching me